Looking young...being pregnant.

[ovetta2001]

I've ranted about this before but after today just wanted another moan. I'm so sick of people looking at me...thinking I'm under 18 and starting with the staring and tutting or the lectures.


So much so that I had some old cow start on me today.
She gives me a look up and down, tuts, shakes her head and says something on the lines of what a shame.
Me in a bad mood says 'excuse me' - in THAT tone like WTF B#$%#.
Then I get the young not using protection and not finishing school blah blah blah speech. She even has the nerve to tell me that my baby won't be a doll!!! I shouldn't be making play toys because it would be a lot harder then it seems.

Somehow...I don't know how (even though the OH says I was squeezing his hand hard enough to burst) I managed to keep my mouth shut till she finished.
Then I got rude...which I'm slightly ashamed of...The whole store turned to look at us.

I told her that I wasn't 17 and I just looked young. I had already finished school AND college with top marks along with my partner who is also doing additional school and I was perfectly aware of the responsibilities of a child.
That she needed to knows facts before she stuck her stupid nose in business that wasn't hers and if she could help it keep her mouth shut all together.

My OH thought it was the funniest thing in the world and clapped me (along with another few random people listening).

THEN the cow looks at me like i had said something wrong and said and I quote
"No need to be so rude and personal...snobby British people" (I have a strong UK accent but live in Texas)

I called her a stupid old b&*^&...*cough cough*...rather loud actually.

OMG - Sometimes people just need a good slap!

 

[Whitbit22]

Wow! I'm not so sure I'd have handled that very well. People like that deserve a good telling off and need to learn not to rub their noses where they don't belong! Not to encourage teen pregnancies but my brother is 17 and so is his gf and they have a 5 month old, and they are better parents than MANY 30 year olds I have seen. So sick of the age stigma, it's all relative and people need to mind their own business!

 

[hawalkden]

I get it all the time too.. I'm off to the midwife today and when I go there are a lot over 'older' ladies there 30+ and then and their OH/Husbands give me a 'look' at how discusting these 'young' 'girls' are popping kids out left right and centre..

I was in a shop once and an older woman who saw my maternity note bag i had on me and commented to her friend saying 'im only doing it for the benifits and not to work'..

I turned round and unziped my coat showed her my uniform i replied by saying 'actually i work 45 hours a week and at weekend at another place. I pay my way and taxes. Yes I'm not an old bag like you but I have a job and my child will be grown up with resepect and not like the 'young thugs' you see on the streets!' I could feel my face going redder and redder by the second. When i got out the shop i went to the toilet and cried! Just all my hormomes spilled out!! haha

 

[sugarheart]

Oh no you poor thing I can't beleive someone would actually start on you I get the looks all the time but have never had anyone actually say something. I'm 24 but I do look young, and get disapproving looks a lot of the time even though I'm married and this baby was planned!!

Just tell them to mind their own business and try not to let it get to you x

 

[kmumtobe]

I had it bad too when I was pregnant to the point I felt ashamed and didn't like going out, and I was 24! People would tut and stare.. When I was in a shop and dropped a penny a shop assistant standing next to me caughed and pointed at it and just watched me struggle before walking off, I was 37 weeks! No one once asked me how long I had to go or the other usual questions. If only I was bold like you to stick up to them, good on ya!

 

[ladyjayne]

Well done you!! ITs horrible when people judge you and dont have a clue. Big Claps for standing up for yourself. FX I can do that when I start getting the looks too esp having a 2 year old as well. :S but planned baby happily married and we both work full time. So stuff em!

 

[Kage76]

nothing to be ashamed of. Maybe she might learn not to make snap judgements and voice them to complete strangers. Thank god you set her in her place- I cant imagine what it would feel like if you were really 17 and pregnant and that witch came along- maybe she will think twice next time!

 

[YoshiPikachu]

Some people are so rude! Good job for showering her what for!

 

[vintage67]

I just wanted to pass along my sympathies from the "other side" of things. I am 44 and pregnant, and yes I have a few grey hairs. Some people seem to think you have to be in some perfect age range of 25-30 or so, to be "deserving" or "able" to care for a child.

Lots of good and bad parents from all age ranges out there unfortunately!
No need to make assumptions about people based on age alone!

 

[Dollyx]

Although I am a younger mom (I'm 19) I hate how judgmental strangers can be! I'm not 16 and in high school, I'm an adult! I had an elderly woman give me a death stare in the mall one day and I was so offended! For all she knows I could be 24 and married! People need to mind their own business. They have no idea what a person's situation is.

 

[Leopard]

Well I am young, actually I'm 17 haha. Funnily enough I haven't had the 'tut tut' scenario, perhaps because I look 22 without any makeup and I'm 6'2" tall. I think, though, that that old bat had it coming, and in reality your age is nothing to do with some random old B*tch. Good on you for sticking it to her.

 

[gemini xo]

Why is it ALWAYS the older woman to comment??? It bugs me soo much, I'm 21 and look very young and get those stares and comment. I'm not the type to say anything though which I should but just a quiet person in general. I'm pretty sure the older people and their old fashioned ways need to remember it was the women in their days who were having children young! It is 2011 the world has changed since then, if people dislike what their see maybe keeping their opinions to themselves is best especiallly when it can offend someone a lot.

 

[Eternal]

Im 27, nearly 28, and people still think im 19! arh!

Someone the other day was talking to be about my pregnancy (plesently) and said, wow, your young to be married, with a baby already and twins on the way, i just laughed, and asked how old she thought i was. She said, 18 or 19? lol! I was like, i wish haha.

Its annoying, i still get refusied at buying things like games, knifes etc and i hardly ever carry ID with me which makes it so annoying when i cant buy an item i want lol! esp being so much older. lol!

So sorry for yoru situation though, i remember getting comments and looks when i was pregnant with my son, but made sure my husband got me a new wedding ring (as my hands were swollon) and id shove that in their face and they wouldnt say anything else. Ive not worn my rings this pregnancy and havnt noticed comments or looks, but then i do have a toddler with me and i guess i must look a bit older lol!

 

[YoshiPikachu]

Why is it ALWAYS the older woman to comment??? It bugs me soo much, I'm 21 and look very young and get those stares and comment. I'm not the type to say anything though which I should but just a quiet person in general. I'm pretty sure the older people and their old fashioned ways need to remember it was the women in their days who were having children young! It is 2011 the world has changed since then, if people dislike what their see maybe keeping their opinions to themselves is best especiallly when it can offend someone a lot.

I know right! I am so not looking forward to people looking at me like that. I am only 20 so I know it's going to happen.

 

[CazM 2011]

It's such a shame that so many people are getting judged for being too old or too young, I'm dreading properly showing and having a bump in some ways because of the looks I think me and my OH will get, I'm 21 and look around that maybe a bit younger and my OH is 44 looks maybe youner but dont tell him I said that he's still going on about still working at his age lol!! In some ways I dread to think what some of the people round by us will be saying but we decided not to care anymore we've put up with the staring and the comments for a lOng time what's a bit more lol xxxx

 

[Xpecta]

GOOD FOR YOU!!! I can't believe her Nerve, but That's awesome that you stood up for yourself like that!!

 

[bananaz]

Good on you for standing up for yourself! I don't know if I could have been so courageous. I suspect that once I start showing I'll be in the same boat -- I'm 24 but am frequently mistaken for a teenager. If the world doesn't think I look mature enough to even order a glass of wine with dinner I can only imagine how people are going to react when they see me with a baby. Ugh!

 

[Louise N]

Good for you for standing your ground. Maybe she'll think twice next time!

I remember a few years ago going shopping with my friend who had just had a baby and whilst she was going in to the shops to try on outfits I walked around the mall with her little boy in his pram and I got a real eye opener of what it feels like to be a young mum. The looks I was getting from some older mothers was really unerving. I could feel their eyes on me looking me up and down and looking in to the pram.

It's also so unreasonable to assume that a young mum is a bad mum and an older mum is going to be a better mum. I know lots of very good young mums and you hear just as much about older mothers screwing up as you do younger mothers.

 

[YoshiPikachu]

Good for you for standing your ground. Maybe she'll think twice next time!

I remember a few years ago going shopping with my friend who had just had a baby and whilst she was going in to the shops to try on outfits I walked around the mall with her little boy in his pram and I got a real eye opener of what it feels like to be a young mum. The looks I was getting from some older mothers was really unerving. I could feel their eyes on me looking me up and down and looking in to the pram.

It's also so unreasonable to assume that a young mum is a bad mum and an older mum is going to be a better mum. I know lots of very good young mums and you hear just as much about older mothers screwing up as you do younger mothers.

I know what you mean. Sad but true.

 

[JadeCrusader]

I hadn't thought about that... gosh people can be so mean. I don't think I look too young, but I went in for a physical the other day and when I got to the counter the lady asked me what I was here for and I said "Oh, a physical" and she looked at me and was like "What kind? High school sports physical?". I just tilted my head and stared at her for a second like I didn't understand what she was saying before I snapped out of it and corrected her. I was so surprised! I didn't think I looked THAT young. I'm 24 1/2. I hope when I start showing I don't get the same treatment you got. That's HORRIBLE.