It started friday evening January 28th, I was continuously crying all night with minor cramping. The crying I placed as pregnancy hormones. Saturday morning I went to a bike race with DH. We walked around on a ranch for 5 hours, I was having worse and worse cramps. I knew before I went, I should just stay home and lay down. I figured exercise would be good for my body, but the day was entirely stressful. There was no where to sit down and only port-o-potties with no soap. When I was home that night I was so exhausted but I just couldn't sleep. We made love (which I had no pain during) and he fell asleep. I spent the night crying, the crying hurt my entire body--especially my heart, I felt so depressed for absolutely no reason. When DH woke up I told him I felt as if I was about to have a period. He reassured me that I was just very pregnant and having a crazy hormonal outburst. I felt so much better and was finally able to fall asleep. I woke up Sunday morning and the bleeding had begun. The cramps were horrendous, but I still tried to have hope. I spent hours in the shower crying. I'm still bleeding today, with a negative HPT. I knew that I wanted this child, but I just didn't realize until now-- just how badly I truly wanted to hold my child in my arms. The hardest part is thinking, I should have just stayed in bed Saturday, I shouldn't have had that glass of tea, I shouldn't have lifted that basket of clothes, I shouldn't have sipped DH's MT. Dew or stood next to him when he smoked a cigarette. He told me today that he is so sorry, but he has nothing to be sorry about, I am the one who failed. This pain is the worst.