Lost my mum

[Septie]

I am sooo sorry for your loss! I lost my grandma 9 yrs ago - and she was so much more than just my grandma, since she raised me from the time I was a newborn (both my parents were working). I was much much closer to her than to my parents...We knew for a few months that she was going to die, and those months were the worst months of my life by far (I was in the US already at the time, and only got to visit her once during those few months). Time is indeed a healer, but you will never forget. What helps me now is knowing that my grandma would be soooo proud of me and LO - and to think that she lives on through LO. Indeed, I often think that I am doing with him is what she must have been doing with me when I was an infant. And I am so grateful that I had her to raise me. Once the immediate grief subsides, you may find similar thoughts to comfort you.

 

[Scally]

So sorry for your loss, such an awful thing to happen. I lost my mum 5 years ago in an RTA, it has all hit me again because of having my LO. I wanted my mum there for advice when i was pregnant, to talk about the birth etc and i want her there now to meet my LO and to ask advice, i have a step mum but its just not the same. I talk to her alot, everyday, with Izzy, like there are the three of us there. I have found this really helps me. Your pain is still so new and raw, do not put too much pressure on yourself to move on and be jolly. Christmas may be a write off this year, it doesnt matter, just do what u feel u need to do. Make sure u talk about it, give yourself time and accept help x

 

[sun]

So sorry about your mum

 

[Mummy~L]

Im so sorry for your loss hun. I lost my mum suddenly 3 years ago now so know what it is like wanting your Mum to see their grandchild grow. Although I didnt have my Mum while I was even pregnant I know she would have been so proud of me and would have loved her grandson to bits.

Im sure your mum is so very proud of you! Just be pleased that she got to meet her grandchild and remember that she will be watching over you.

It will get easier even though it doesnt feel it at the moment. You will be able to cope as im sure you are much stronger then you think! Thinking of you xxx

 

[dizzyspells]

So sorry for your loss hun.x

 

[lalitas charm]

Oh hun I'm so sorry for your loss. how you are feeling is completely natural and you are allowed to feel upset and down because you miss your mum so please dont beat yourself up about it.

I lost my dad 11 years ago and I was devestated, I was doing my A levels and just shut down about everything and it took me quite a while to get back on track. I'm so sad that he never got to meet Bethan but I know that he will be proud of me and if he was here he would love her to bits.

The time you had with your mum was a beautiful gift and something to celebrate, there are a million things to think about which are wonderful, When I miss my dad I try to think about the good things like the days when we walked arm in arm down our garden in the dark talking about all sorts of silly stuff or how much he loved to play hockey and taught me to play and I remember how lucky I was to get that time. I find that helps when I feel down about it.

Here are a few hugs to help you during this time

 

[xkirstyx]

sorry i cant help hunny just wanted to send you big hugs xxxxxx

 

[MiissDior]

Hun can i just say how sorry i am for your loss
I have tears in my eyes after reading your post..
I can only imagine how u feel
i just wanna hug you

my mum diagnosed in 07 with STAGE 3 breast cancer
had radio and chemo and 2mths after her 1st operation
my daughter died... and i honeslty can only imagine how ur feeling

Your already mighty brave and i think ur amazing for coping already

I wont ramble on as i know this wont be helping you
but your in my taughts and deffo my prayers.. thinking of you Babe xxxx​

 

[premmiemum123]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Until you lose a parent I don't think you can imagine what the pain of a true broken heart feels like. I lost my mother 13 years ago and this year my father died from cancer, he like your mother was taken so quickly. He never knew I was pregnant as I could not bring myself to tell him as he had enough to cope with, he died in my first trimester.

I think having a child really brings home to you how much your parents meant to you as you realise what having a child means and how your parents must of felt when they had you. On days I stuggle with my LO or she does something I am proud of I feel I have no one to turn to, my OH family are ok, but it is not the same as having your own parents.
Sometimes I want to know what I did at my LOs age, what was I like in comparison but have no one to ask.

However in saying the above, I do feel like there are with me, watching over us. Sometimes when Emily stares at an empty space and smiles, I say 'who are you smiling at? Grandma and Grandad?' I think this offers me some comfort. I can't talk to them or see them but I can feel them close to me.
I am sure your mother is watching over you too.

 

[ActionCat]

I just want to say that I have just gone through something similar and although it is so hard, you do just cope even if you don't feel like you are coping. I suppose that's not very comforting but I don't think anything can really help with the rawness of losing your Mum. It's just something that only time can help with. Give yourself some time.

My Mum had a heart attack the same night I was admitted to hospital to have my baby. She never regained consciousness. I left the hospital with my baby to travel up to other end of the country to say goodbye to her and then they switched off her support. And she never got to meet my beautiful baby. It's so hard when all I want to do is tell her about him, ask for her advice or just see her hold him. He's 13 weeks old now and it is still hard. But I do have days when I can think about her without crying (not today unfortunately). And I am just looking forward to thinking about her and feeling happy. And being able to tell my little boy about his wonderful grandma.

 

[aevenstar]

So sorry to hear you're having a rough time of it - and yes, I know that's a massive understatement.
My mum died when I was 34 weeks pregnant, very suddenly in her sleep - it is a truly awful pain to lose your mum. I too wish I could tell her the things that Eleanor does and that I could just talk to her - I still think now 'oh, I'll just give Mum a call...ah. Can't.'
Christmas this year will be hard -we're taking the view that its just another day this year, and we'll make a fuss next year when Eleanor's older and able to enjoy it more anyway.
Keep going - and cry if you need to - there's nothing wrong with it.
As to the bf - you're doing really well - perhaps a bf support group could help more though? xx