Lost?!

Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive' started by T'elle, Dec 27, 2009.

  1. T'elle

    T'elle feeling blessed & lucky!

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    im kind of wtt/ntnp atm im not really sure what im doing to be honest.... i want to ttc with opks and my fertility monitor BUT it breaks my heart every month :bfn: and when im like i am now, 'lost' ntnp, and seeing friends and family getting :bfp:'s i slap myself for thinking why am i not trying so hard for something which is all i ever want...i want to be a mummy and i want to feel wanted and worth being here, i feel like i don't know where i belong and its horrible....:cry: i want to be happy....i love my friends to bits but they don't have a clue about ttc and stuff like girls on here do. I just need to feel like i belong

    a bit pointless i know i just need someone to talk to!

    Hope everyone had a lovely christmas :cloud9::kiss:
     
  2. xMissxZoiex

    xMissxZoiex Leo, Wyatt, Owen & Milo

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    Aww huni im so sorry that you feel this and sorry for you loss, How does you OH feel about trying again? xxx
     
  3. Lyrah

    Lyrah Mummy to my beautiful H<3

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    Hey sweetie :hugs:

    I'm so sorry you are feeling so upset and lost at the moment. Really horrible feeling I know. :(

    In what way do you feel like you don't belong hun?

    I'm always here for you as you know :hugs:

    Lots of love hun :flower:

    xxxx
     
  4. sazza

    sazza Well-Known Member

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    Hiya T'elle,

    So sorry you're feeling this way. :hugs: It's very difficult when those around us are either pg, or annoucing their news. I have been NTNP this cycle, as I've found TTC very stressful the past few months. If you ever want to talk, please PM me. x
     
  5. T'elle

    T'elle feeling blessed & lucky!

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    Thanks hun, i just don't know its like all i want now is to be a mummy and i feel like i have been robbed of something so precious as people say i am still grieving for my twins, but its the fact i feel they were taken away from me if you get me, i was so happy and had big plans to be a mummy then all of a sudden it was snatched away.

    Its not that im going to have a baby and forget about them, but to prove i can be the mummy i want to be. Im so broody and im always thinking aww look at him/her i wonder what my baby would look like what i would dress him/her in and its like im being told 'No' and just want to prove i CAN do it.....xxxx
     
  6. T'elle

    T'elle feeling blessed & lucky!

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    Thanks sazza!!! its so frustrating isn't it :(

    I never thought 3 years ago id still be here....i never thought of where i would be to be honest....but its so hard xxx
     
  7. T'elle

    T'elle feeling blessed & lucky!

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    Sorry hun i missed your post argh... he's quite easy going with it all he says he just wants to make me happy (not that he doesn't :cloud9:) i just realllly want us to be a mummy and daddy and i keep thinking it isnt going to happen.

    xxxx
     
  8. sazza

    sazza Well-Known Member

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    Incredibly frustrating! How long have you been NTNP? x x x
     
  9. Lyrah

    Lyrah Mummy to my beautiful H<3

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    That's completely understandable. :hugs:

    You are one of those women who are born to be a mummy and that it is all you want, hope and desire for. The thing with this hun is that although I know how terribly sucky the situation is and how long you have been trying for with problems - you have to try really hard to be positive. I know this is so much easier said than done but honestly hun I promise you that positive thinking will do you good and with a bit of luck bubba will come along. Just try your best to stay as relaxed as possible. :hugs: I really understand how reading what I have just said you are probably thinking 'but it's not as easy as that' I completely understand that hun because I've been there. Not in the same situation as you... but to be told to just relax and be positive. I know that it can be a real pain to be told that sometimes. :dohh:

    Is there anything in life that you want to change right now, that may make things a little easier for you so you can feel happier?

    Hope I'm making sense hun.
    xxxx
     
  10. T'elle

    T'elle feeling blessed & lucky!

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    we have been ttc for 3 years and ntnp for about 2 months i think not long but its felt like 6 months since i been on here properly with opks etc... its so hard its taking me so long that the more i think about it the more im coming to realize it may never happen xxx
     
  11. xMissxZoiex

    xMissxZoiex Leo, Wyatt, Owen & Milo

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    I suppose its just waiting untill you feel ready to start again, i bet the pain of loosing you twins is still very raw. Im NTNP for the next two months i dont want to feel that i would be replacing me Angel i know how you feel and its so hard to tell if the time is right or if it will ever be right again.
    If you ever need to chat feel free to message me.
    Zoie xxxxxxxxxxx
     
  12. T'elle

    T'elle feeling blessed & lucky!

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    thanks hun xx
     
  13. RedRose19

    RedRose19 Expecting baby 3!

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    awwww hun :cry: you made me cry reading that... i so can related to you.. :hugs: im ntnp cuz im told relax it will happen quicker.. but then i dunno when im ovin and its hard not thinking about ttc cuz all you want is a bfp then a sticky bean.. i truely understand and am here for you if u need to talk :hugs:
     
  14. RedRose19

    RedRose19 Expecting baby 3!

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    it def will happen hun :hugs:
     
  15. T'elle

    T'elle feeling blessed & lucky!

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    :hugs: i hate being told to relax i know it helps, BUT its so hard lol plus im a little stubborn (thanks dad) haha but yeah its just so hard waiting for so long, and im finding it so stressful lately with :bfp:'s with RL friends and family its like i just want to say to myself - 'that should be me' xxx
     
  16. T'elle

    T'elle feeling blessed & lucky!

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    to be honest im quite happy at the moment, i've made sure that i have got our priorities us first, and also the people that have been bothering me recently i have wiped my hands of, i just dont need their stress too i feel quite relaxed but i just wish it would happen sooooo much
     
  17. zowiey

    zowiey Nervously PG :)

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    :hugs:

    When will people realise that telling us to relax, really doesn't help?! I'm considering ntnp, purely because like you, I can't take the heartache anymore. It WILL happen for us. And when it does our babies will no everyday they are so very special to us.

    :hugs::hugs::hugs:
     
  18. Lyrah

    Lyrah Mummy to my beautiful H<3

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    Ok that's good. :hugs:

    Like babyhopes said, it will happen lovely.

    I'm sorry for telling you to try to relax, I know this advice isn't all that helpful. :nope:

    xxx
     
  19. T'elle

    T'elle feeling blessed & lucky!

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    :hugs: i know people mean so well when they say to relax but we know we can't being as stubborn and upset as we are lol, but technically it does help its just no as easy said than done like Lyrah said :) lol xxxx
     
  20. zowiey

    zowiey Nervously PG :)

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    I hope you didnt think my post was aimed at you Lyrah? it was just a rant in general!!
    xx
     

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