Lots to get off my chest!

[loeylo]

Apologies in advance for the potential length of this rant, I just feel I need to get it all off my chest!

Myself and my boyfriend bought our first house together at the start of the year, it needed quite a bit of work (including extensive damp proofing, replastering throughout, complete redecoration and a new fitted kitchen!) so we didn't move in until last month, and we are still living in one small room with a bed, a sofa, old smelly carpets, no tv (we have a DVD player though) and only a microwave to cook with. We don't even have running water except in our shower which is barely a trickle and our bathroom sink which is tiny, so we feel homeless! Eating every meal off paper plates using plastic cutlery, not being able to wash our own clothes, everything being covered in dust and dog hair - plus havin to decorate every single night is having such a strain on our relationship!
For the first few weeks it was novel, kind of exciting even. Now I want to punch him half the time! The other day I even went as far as packing a bag for him to move out an throwing it at him!
Apparently I moan at him for everything (which is true because I'm stressed) and so he feels the need to lie about silly things (told me he was at the shop when he was really at a mates house to pick up some xbox stuff) - lying is my ultimate hate so I packed his stuff. He was genuinely sorry and I felt horrible that he felt the need to lie about something a simple as going to a mates for half an hour.
We had another huge blow out at the weekend because he had a hangover, it was a lovely day and I wanted to do something nice like take the dog to the beach, whereas all he wanted to do was sleep. He suggested I go with my friends, whereas the full reason I wanted to go was to have a nice day out with him, since we are both so stressed and are unable to spend any quality time together just now!
We also can't go out for long at all because the dog hates being confined to one room himself, and the rest of our house isn't safe for him, so effectively we are trapped!
I'm stressing about work too as I am finding out if I am being made permanent in my job soon, I am definitely moving school but we can't pay our mortgage unless I have a full time job, and as I have just qualified there is no certainty that will happen!
Oh, and I thought I might be pregnant this month because of how horrible my pms symptoms are - but no, I am just having a horrible period.

Sorry just had to vent!

 

[callmedan]

awww hun
sounds like your just having a shitty time at the minute and you cant help getting annoyed at him with constantly living on top of each other and with a dog in the mix!
could you set some kind of targets for your house like kitchen done in 2 months, get a tv in 4 weeks that kind of thing? also if your short of cash you could go to charity shops and things like freecycle
also is there anyone who could look after your dog while you and your OH spend some quality time together, maybe somewhere out of the ordinary like a zoo or something? if not you could take your dog for a day at a nice park somewhere
but i do think your OH shouldnt have lied to you, he probably had no need to! maybe you could have a chat about that and both agree to be 100% honest with each other?
hope you feel better soon x

 

[spicyorange]

Sounds rough, probably for the best your not pregnant, just think about how nice it well be when your all finished, maybe you should agree to have a nine night out together and clear the air.

 

[loeylo]

Thanks for the replies, guys.
I know our disagreements are only because we are stressed out and have no space away from each other. I went out with some friends last night and he went to a friends house, it was good just to have some down time. I'm really determined I am getting my house finished in the next two weeks, that way we can at least relax and leave the dog in for a few hours!
We are going to the beach at the weekend for a day out with the dog too. It isn't that we are totally skint, we do have money, it is just all being used for house related things.
I got a job rejection for my dream job and the only one within easy commuting distance, which is a bit of a nightmare!
I am now at the stage where I am going to seriously suggest starting to ttc in the next few months, we have a big enough house now and if I am going to be out of work for a while then it may actually work out quite well. I can go back to my old job too, which at least gives me a guaranteed income - and mat leave!

 

[Eline]

I would go crazy as well! Though I always worry when my OH is away, I do enjoy some alone time once in a while. Seems like you guys need to plan both some alone time as well a some quality time together. I hope you can find a way to do that.
When do you think you will have another room ready or at least a bit inhabitable?