Male post natal depression?

Discussion in 'Postnatal Support' started by Linzi, Oct 6, 2008.

  1. Linzi

    Linzi Prodest mummy ever

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    I think my OH is sufering from this... we just had a long chat and Im really upset and worried about him. He says he's feeling completely numb and hopless, like everything is falling down around him and that he sometimes just wants to lock himself in a room for hours and just do nothing.

    Im not sure what to do... whether to make him go to the doctors... I dont really know. Does anyone have any experience with this?

    Thanks

    xxx
     
  2. Alexas Mommy

    Alexas Mommy Well-Known Member

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    my oh went through this for about two months after alexa was born. he was used to getting all of my attention and after alexa came, he didnt get all the attention anymore. he also had a lot of insecurities about being a father. i tried to get michael to go to the doctor, but he would not go. we had to work through it, and eventually it went away. just try to include him in everything, and let him know you still love him and that he is now needed by two people, so he is extra special. if he is sensitive like my oh, this should help some. but try to get him to talk to his doctor. good luck! :hug:
     
  3. Linzi

    Linzi Prodest mummy ever

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    Thank you.

    He said he would go to the Dr but that he didn't think it would be worthy of their time or something.

    Im so worried about him :( Its killing me seeing him so upset.

    I am trying to include him in everything, I try to give him alone time with Seth, alone time by himself, time for us on our own... just nothing seems to be getting through... I just can't help but feel its my fault. We argued last week because he was working a lot and when he was at home I never saw him. If I let him just get on with it he wouldn't be feeling down :(

    Thanks hun

    xxx
     
  4. Alexas Mommy

    Alexas Mommy Well-Known Member

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    its not your fault at all! relationships change when you start a family, and it is very normal. i am very glad to hear he has agreed to go to the doctor that is a great first step in resolving the problem. keep doing what you are doing and remember it is not your fault! :hug:
     
  5. leeanne

    leeanne Mom of 3 and Stepmom of 2

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    I honestly thought, after having problems with my OH after my daughter was born and when my first son was conceived, that my OH went through this. He was horrible...so much so that I left him when my daughter was 18 months and 1 month before my first son was born.

    I swear he had PND. If not, he was sure a whole bunch different during that time and was not easy to live with.

    We did get back together when my son was 5 months old and everything has been good.

    I also think that many men go through this especially after their first.

    I hope things get better for your OH and you and little one! :hugs:
     
  6. Teel

    Teel Well-Known Member

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    I can completely relate to this thread!

    My hubby and I had a talk today and he just wasnt himself at all. I asked why and he doesnt know why and that he just doesnt feel connected to bubs- it is really upsetting to hear this as you dont expect it. He says that he doesnt like anything that bubs does anymore and its only been 18days. Its like he has withdrawel symthoms or something.

    I read up on PND for dads and it does happen

    https://www.dad.info/health/your-health/post-natal-depression-dads/

    Im going to show hubby this and see what he thinks.

    I hope we get thro this.
     
  7. Linzi

    Linzi Prodest mummy ever

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    thank you hun and i really hope your OH gets through this soon too.

    Seth is 4 months now and this has been going on since he was born but ivebeen so wrapped up in seth i hadnt even noticed :( how nasty is that :(

    xxx
     
  8. x-amy-x

    x-amy-x Mammy

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    I think you should get him to see the DR and offer to go with him. He needs to seek help... since you've already tried including him etc, i dont see him getting out of this on his own.

    :hugs:
     
  9. Teel

    Teel Well-Known Member

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    Aww dont beat yourself up about it hun, to be honest I hadnt a clue until hubby had said he feels weird- i could tell by his face something wasnt right. Least you know now and you can help him get thro this. Its something thats easily missed with having a newborn in the household.

    Its such a massive adjustments for other halfs to take in, it changes all the dynamics.
     
  10. hsollis

    hsollis Well-Known Member

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    Does Baby and Bump have a section for new dads??? Maybe that's something we can suggest so they can get the support they need...

    My hubby has been okay so far but he sometimes seems a bit distant and I can tell he's trying but is sometimes off....

    I hope your hubby gets to feeling better and back on track. I think as long as they recognise it - it is the first step and shows they are aware of things and can probably work it out and be great dads once the fear and anxiety go away!! A lot of the comments sound like a male version of what we go through but they don't necessarily have the instincts and trust in feelings that we do being men...
     

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