So it’s Mother’s Day today, 10 days after my transfer of those beautiful little embryos, and I took my last FRER and it was negative, I mean my cling on to all hope eyes told me a vvvvvvvvvv faint line was there but my let’s keep things real eyes where nope not a line at all!!! So I am bit defeated today. We have came so far to get to this point and the fact that I did get 2 embryos was a massive plus. I have my beta test on Tuesday but unless one of those embryos implanted late I am not holding out much hope. I will continue to pop in a progesterone till the beta. Plan B well if you have read my story it’s because my partner had no sperm due to a medical issue and he did freeze some before, the time wasted to get it done in another country will always be something I will regret, we could have been on a second/third IVF cycle if I had done my research better, but due to his last sperm count and it’s back still slightly low but fertile we will try naturally for a while especially during this Coronavirus. We did talk about donor eggs, and now his sperm is back it’s easier for us to travel maybe Spain IF we go down that route, and it’s still something we have to really have a talk about still not sure about it.
I think what I will take away from this is a first a sense of peace, I did try. Second that IVF isn’t a always the means to a baby for me at least, I have children and thought as long as they get something in me my body will just do it’s thing and that isn’t really true. Thirdly I have much respect for those woman who can only have a baby this way, months of 2WW’s and ups and downs for them, I really have learnt that having a baby isn't Just a fumble under the covers.
Today is Mother’s Day and my thoughts are not of my negative test result, it’s for all the woman in the world hoping to get 2 lines after years of trying, I for the moment will have my tea and toast with my kids and think how lucky I was to be able to have them without any problems. So to all the waiting to be pregnant mums out there I wish you a very very happy Mother’s Day because it doesn’t take a baby to be in your arms to be a mother, a mother is someone who loves every ovulation day in the hopes of maybe, it’s the mums that have seen little beans on a screen and hope they implant, it’s the Mum who have had 2 lines and cried every month as the lines disappear you are still a mother because of that hope!!! Happy Mother’s Day to all trying and are!!! Have a lovely day!!
that would be really hard! I hope that your little beans implant against the odds and are just taking their time! 
