Marriage before or after baby?

[newmommy21]

For me, I got married and was pregnant at the same time. I don't regret my DD and love her to death, but sometimes I wish hubby and I had some alone time married before I was pregnant. I never got a honeymoon because I was 8 months pregnant, and I don't see hubby and I going anywhere by ourselves for a very, very, very long time. Plus babies are super expensive. Her nursery cost is pretty well half my paycheck....so if there is anything you want to do before you have babies, do it know! that is just my experience and opinion, you get to choose freely what you want to do

 

[Amy2701]

We had our children first. We had been engaged for 4 years (together for 7) before our DD came along and to be honest even though we were engaged, marriage was never an absolute must for me. Our son followed 13 months after our daughter, and it was only then that marriage became important. Having a different surname from my children made me desperate to get married so that we'd all be the same. We got married in March this year after having been together for 9 years.. And we're expecting #3 in May/June next year.

I must add.. With regards to having your children at your wedding - my daughter had just turned two when we got married, and she chose that very morning to have her first "terrible twos" tantrum. We left my mums house at the time the ceremony was due to start, because she absolutely refused to put her dress on. I was in tears, my mum was in tears, it was a nightmare. But we laugh about it now - especially when my DH tells us how nervous he was when I still hadn't turned up half an hour after the wedding was due to start! Lol

 

[jren]

Well, I'm probably not the best person to comment on this....but big weddings aren't my thing. We eloped. If you want kids first then that is what I'd do. You can always save up for the wedding.

 

[tverb84]

Well, I'm probably not the best person to comment on this....but big weddings aren't my thing. We eloped. If you want kids first then that is what I'd do. You can always save up for the wedding.

Yeah I'm not one for big weddings either. I'd rather have a small one with just a few family members/friends. I can't be bothered planning a big wedding and spending a lot of $.

 

[Kitteh_Kat]

Well, I'm probably not the best person to comment on this....but big weddings aren't my thing. We eloped. If you want kids first then that is what I'd do. You can always save up for the wedding.

We eloped too, and it was the best decision we made. Maybe one day we'll do a vow renewal or something if I get the yearning.

It's such an individual choice, and marriage means something different to every person. Hubby and I are both very "meh" about it, but he was joining the military so we went ahead and did it so the military would take into account he had family. I would have been fine with having children before hand otherwise. I think a strong relationship is more important than a piece of paper saying you're bound together legally.

 

[meg_bellamy]

Well, I'm probably not the best person to comment on this....but big weddings aren't my thing. We eloped. If you want kids first then that is what I'd do. You can always save up for the wedding.

Yeah I'm not one for big weddings either. I'd rather have a small one with just a few family members/friends. I can't be bothered planning a big wedding and spending a lot of $.

Agreed!

 

[Autumn leaves]

Can I ask how you did it on a small scale ��?

 

[stephaniexx]

Big weddings aren't my thing either. We had a small ceremony and reception with close friends and family; it was an amazing day/night. My daughters were my flower girls, they had a great time and made the day so special.

It was only after I had children that I wanted to be married, so I personally don't think it's majorly important to be married first.

 

[meg_bellamy]

We had a ceremony near the beach with close friends and family (about 30 people) then everyone came back to ours and we had a party All up including rings $2k ($1,100 pounds?).