MEN!! :@ Among other things :@

[princess_1991]

Finally had my hospital appt yesterday after what seemed like forever of waiting and they told me and DH what i thought they would... IVF

dont get me wrong i had prepared my self for hearing it and knew it was comeing to the point i had already arranged, found and have details and info off an ivf clinic, however when they do say theres nothing we can do and ivf will be your only option, it hurts

i was proud of myself tho, i didnt cry

DH has peeved me this morning tho, yesterday after appt, we were talking about when to do it, and me being me wanted to sort everything asap, DH agreed and said i could make our first appointment asap

so first thing this morning i ring the clinic and book my appt for next friday

so i rang DH and told him and he went mad he was saying about work etc but his work know what were going through and have give him extra holiday days cuz they know hes gunna be away alot doing ivf buisness and said any appts etc let us know, dont worry bout it, so i know his work wont have a problem with it,

i think its more him that has a problem with it i dont wanna feel like im pressuring him into anything

the whole point in this cycle is for us both to get what we want, and i know im getting what i want and i thought he was too, now i just feel like im being selfish

any advice ladies??

so much for time celebrating

 

[wantanerd]

Men react differently to fertility than women do. My DH was all for me going to the fertility clinic but it was like pulling teeth getting him to go with me. They cope with everything in a different way and if it were up to my husband, I would be alone on everything except for the sex part. Its the one thing he will do willingly.

He does surprise me sometimes though. He research all his SA results and came to a different conclusion than what our doctor came up with. Your hubby will come around =)

 

[LizzB]

Hi Princess,

Welcome along on the IVF journey! We found out it was our only real option last year too.

Men have such a diffrent way of looking at things don't they? They have to believe in their heads that things were actually their idea before they buy into it, they procrastinate so much sometimes. Whereas we girls are just - ok, where's the problem, let me get as much info as i can and fix it now, not point in waiting around.

Perhaps he's scared and doesn't want to admit it, or maybe as his work know about it that there might be some inference from his workmates (or in his own head) that he is somehow not a 'complete man'. I don't know what kind of guy he is, but the tough ones seem to struggle with things like this.

The thing about the IVF process is it is really all about you. He should be with you at the initial consultations and then at egg collection and transfer, but won't need to be there for the scans etc. so it won't be too demanding on his time, maybe 3 appointments over the course of the treatment.

Does he know exactly waht is required of him? Try to talk to him and explain that his contibution is much more about supporting you in all that you have to go through.

Don't let it get you down though, sometimes they really are from mars.

Liz x

 

[princess_1991]

thanks wantanerd and thanks lizz, he is i suppose what id call the tougher ones lol but its never bothered him before and hes already told me he wants to come to every appointment and has always been good in that respect, the more i think bout it the more i think he was in the same situation as me like we both expected it but it still hurts when it happens but i think i might have prepared my self more then he did :/

how far along your ivf journey are you liz??

xx

 

[psp2011]

I agree. My DH is a "tough one" and he is always fine until things get close and then he freaks out! Maybe yours is the same? It's like it's not real until there is no denying it anymore and it has to be dealt with. I think he puts it out of his mind and doesn't process it until the last minute and then it makes it worse.
I bet it will get lots better when you actually get the ball rolling. Good luck!