MIL put LO to sleep on his tummy

[raquel1980]

I had to leave my DS with MIL yesterday to take DD to a hospital appointment. My MIL is obsessed with tummy sleeping and although I know that LOs usually sleep better on their tummy's, I have expressly said that I don't want my LOs put into their bed on their tummy. I came home yesterday and there my baby was, on his tummy. I am so angry about itand can't believe that she would do it, she wasn't even in the room with him. Now I don't feel like I can trust her to look after him which is going to cause all sorts of issues. Am I overreacting?

 

[louandivy]

Not at all, that is so disrespectful! I am a pretty laid back person but I would be furious if someone put my LO to sleep on her tummy. Have some serious words with her and if she doesn't seem sorry I think its totally understandable for you not to trust her alone with your LOs!

 

[charli87]

nope not over reacting at all, I'm guessing you had told her you didn't want LO on their tummy? If thats the case then she hasn't followed what you had asked, I'd be furious if my MIL didn't do something how I wanted

 

[Dopeyjopey]

No, you're not. Maybe try sitting down and explaining why you don't want him sleeping on his tummy and that your wishes as a parent should be respected. Let her know that if she is not willing to follow your rules she won't be babysitting again! x

 

[raquel1980]

nope not over reacting at all, I'm guessing you had told her you didn't want LO on their tummy? If thats the case then she hasn't followed what you had asked, I'd be furious if my MIL didn't do something how I wanted

Yep, she totally knows my views on it as she mentions it every time she comes over. When we came back yesterday the first thing she said was "I know you don't want him on his tummy but he settles so much better".

 

[charli87]

nope not over reacting at all, I'm guessing you had told her you didn't want LO on their tummy? If thats the case then she hasn't followed what you had asked, I'd be furious if my MIL didn't do something how I wanted

Yep, she totally knows my views on it as she mentions it every time she comes over. When we came back yesterday the first thing she said was "I know you don't want him on his tummy but he settles so much better".

sorry excuse the language but bitch! who the hell is she to do that with YOUR child?!?! then added the fact she wasn't in the room with him, no way should she have him again! my bloods boiling now just talking about it and it didn't even happen to me grrrrr

 

[iHeartbaby#1]

You told her so you are definitely not overreacting! I agree with other posters though...explain to her that if it happens again she won't be able to watch him anymore. Do you think your MIL would actually listen if your OH talked to her? My MIL is like that so I'm just wondering.

Now I don't feel like I can trust her to look after him which is going to cause all sorts of issues.

Just remember that she created the issues - not you! You don't have anything to feel guilty about.

 

[AP]

Shes been told and she went against your wishes, and she said that?

Oh.my.god she wouldnt have lasted another one minute. I would be going nuts. What else does she do against your wishes that would worrying me

 

[raquel1980]

No, you're not. Maybe try sitting down and explaining why you don't want him sleeping on his tummy and that your wishes as a parent should be respected. Let her know that if she is not willing to follow your rules she won't be babysitting again! x

I did that last week, told her about the evidence and the reasons for sleeping babies on their back and that's how I want my babies to sleep until they have the control to choose how they sleep themselves. That's why I'm even more angry about it as she has deliberately disregarded my decision - they are mine and OHs children, not hers.

 

[raquel1980]

Shes been told and she went against your wishes, and she said that?

Oh.my.god she wouldnt have lasted another one minute. I would be going nuts. What else does she do against your wishes that would worrying me

That's what worries me too

 

[lil-star]

Omg I would havent been able to hold my Tongue! Like the other posters said I can't believe she went behind your back because she thought her parenting was better... Inlaws huh?

 

[raquel1980]

Omg I would havent been able to hold my Tongue! Like the other posters said I can't believe she went behind your back because she thought her parenting was better... Inlaws huh?

Exactly, not only has she ignored my pretty explicit instructions she's also saying that she knows better....

 

[KittyVentura]

I'd not allow Fin back to stay/be cared for by his Grandma again if she disregarded any rule of mine in such a way xx

 

[binxyboo]

Unfortunatly (or fortunatly - I don't know) I am a pretty outspoken person.
I'm afraid I would have said to my MIL that I am totally unhappy that she KNOWINGLY went against my wishes, that my trust is gone and that she won't be looking after LO without supervision again. I would probably also ask what else she has been doing against my wishes.

As a PP said - any issues would be caused by her - and I would remind her of that too, by saying that it wasn't an issue until she disregarded your wishes.

 

[fantastica]

As you had made your views very clear, and she was fully aware then really she has absolutely no business doing that, i'd be absolutely furious. It would perhaps be different if she didn't no, but she did and there's no excuse, you never go against a parent's wishes x

 

[ILoveShoes]

What did you say to her afterwards?
I'd like to think that I would tell my MIL off for spmething like this, but in reality, I think I'd be silently fuming and get my DH to say something!
xx

 

[stardust599]

I'd probably be too chicken to say something too but I would be LIVID and wouldn't let her babysit again until she earns your trust. Stupid woman.

(By the way my LO sleeps on side or sometimes tummy due to reflux but I would never ever ever settle someone else's baby on their tummy if that's not the way they sleep!!)
xxx

 

[elainegee]

you have to make her understand unless she follows your instructions with how you want your child to sleep in particular she cant watch him, i know my mum says we all (my bros and sis) slept on our tummy's etc but she respected the fact that as a caution i would only allow her to nap on her tummy if someone was beside her etc.

 

[anna matronic]

My mum akways used to go on about how we were tummy sleepers and it did us no harm!! I told her it is now reccommended babies sleep on their back feet to foot. One tine she wouldn't let it lie so I said ok put him on his tummy then (knowing what would happen) he screamed and screamed and screamed, she never mentioned it again!!

I guess my point is our parents and in laws think they know best because they have already raised us. They forget it was nearly 30 years ago though and it is now our turn, not theirs!!

I'd be totally upset as u are about it. But I don't think I'd make a huge deal about it instead be honest with her and tell her she has to do as you say as it is your child and if she doesn't like it then she won have lo again x

 

[vaileasmama]

fuming, id be fuming!!!! how dare she?!
i had a situation with my fil where he drunkenly fell asleep in his bed holding my girl - i still have nightmares about it!
i am angry on your behalf!!!
id be making my oh have MAJOR words with her