MIL rant

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by cbear, Dec 25, 2009.

  1. cbear

    cbear Mummy to Aidan

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    firstly, Merry Christmas!!

    This year we are going to the in laws for lunch but i'm not looking forward to sitting with my MIL making small talk after what she said to me on Tuesday.

    I offered to get some shopping for her and she said that the cat litter was too heavy and i shouldn't lift it so she would get it. My OH then mentioned that i was moving a bed the other day (taking it steady) and she turned to me and said "It's a wonder you didn't have a miscarriage". I felt awful, still do. I feel like I'm not good enough to be the mother of HER grandchildren sometimes with the things she says. I know it's not a terrible thing to say, but I think it was unnecessary.

    Thanks for listening, i just had to get it out of my system before i sit round the dinner table with her.:dohh:

    Claire xx
     
  2. Loki

    Loki Guest

    Her make you feel inferior, or like you dont measure up. If you allow that, she wins! Come back with witty retorts like "no way would I have a miscarriage. I am a strong woman!"

    Lay down the gauntlet now, so you dont have to deal with this crap later.
     
  3. mrsraggle

    mrsraggle Wifey & Mummy

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    What a thoughtless thing to say - I guess she's just wanting you to take care of yourself. People forget what pregnancy hormones do to us!

    Hope you survive lunch and have a lovely Xmas xx
     
  4. cindi

    cindi Mom of 4 girls

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    i've moved furniture (slow and steady with wheels like a bed) your body would know if you were overdoing it. She's just concerned and probably just didn't come out right. it's hard but remember she loves your precious little bean too. Don't let it get to you go and have a good time and remember what a blessing you have there!
     
  5. Lownthwaite

    Lownthwaite 1DD and cooking #2!

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    Thats a horrible thing for her to say to you! :growlmad:

    I was concerned about lifting too (being a horse owner im very active and lift heavy things regularly) I asked my midwife and she said with lifting the danger is on the mother (risk of straining and bone issues cause of softening etc) not to the baby - and unless you're lifting a CAR! or something similar she said there is no risk to baby through lifting! So i'd tell MIL to get her facts straight before making you feel bad - shame on her!! :hugs:
     
  6. 555ann555

    555ann555 Mummy to Gabriella

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    I'm sure she was just concerned about you over-doing things and couldn't get the right words out :hugs:

    Thoughtless way to put it, but it sounded like her heart was in the right place.
     
  7. Minstermind

    Minstermind Well-Known Member

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    My mother-in-law could very well have said the same thing if I was in that situation. With her, though, I know it's out of concern and caring, and not a malicious thing or trying to make me feel inferior. However, that may not be the case with your mother-in-law and only you would know in what spirit she meant it. If it seemed harmless (though thoughtless), try not to let it get to you too much..but if there's a negative energy behind it, then as others have said, might be best to just find a way to speak up for yourself. I've told a couple of people now not to worry about my choices regarding lifting or whatever else, because the last thing I would ever do is put myself or my baby at undue risk. It does tend to quiet them as they're hardly going to say I would do so, or that I hadn't thought of the risks involved with whatever activities I'm involved in.
     
  8. tinytoes1904

    tinytoes1904 Well-Known Member

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    Aw Claire

    Im sure she didnt mean it, she was probably just concerned, and maybe isnt very good at showing it, so says things in that kinda manner cos she doesnt know any other way to be IYKWIM. Either that, or shes being a know it all in which case only you would know by her tone. If its the latter, I would have said 'it IS a wonder, isnt it' just to wind her up :haha: . Best thing to do is just agree with everythin they say, then do whatever you want LOL xx
     

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