MILs...

[vhal_x]

Why do they think our LOs are their baby ..

Yesterday, OH was on the phone to MIL (his mum) to see if she wanted to look after AJ for a few hours on Monday as she always moans about how she never gets him.

Ahem, yes you do .

Anyway, I'm a bit funny about being away from AJ for too long, as he is my first, and I'm really protective of him, so OH told her that it would be 3 hours maximum, and we'd come collect him.

She replied "Oh, well I was going to go to Haven on Monday night so I thought I could take him and give him back on Friday morning."

Eh, WTF!?

Don't think so.

Grr, rant over xx

 

[AP]

my MIL looked after my LO for half an hour.

never again!

i dunno why they just 'expect' it tbh.

 

[jojo2605]

Haha!!! How silly! 3 hours is ok so you might be ok with 5 days!? I don't know where they get it from! 3 hours is a pretty fair amount of time at 4 months I think.

 

[babyjiva]

i can never figure out why our mom's don't act like this but our mother in laws do... and then it dawned on me. our mothers care about us enough to honor our feelings on things (or at least to try not to piss us off). because really our moms must be as attached as our mils so why are they less annoying. it's not because we don't mind as much, i really believe our mils are more annoying because they just don't give a damn if they offend us or otherwise annoy us. and they know they can get away with it because who wants to tell their husband's mother off? yea, nobody.
my mil has been driving me looney. i feel like she's just playing house around here or something. obviously her mommy wifey time has passed, house setting up, baby health to look over etc. and she's just coming around here and giving advice, bringing me pictures to hang up, telling me what's wrong with my baby when she's whiney (and she's normally wrong but insists), she asks me to do a million little things for her as if i'm not swamped enough here, has even done my dishes (nice but no thanks), my husband was buying a washer/dryer for us and she was so insistant that we should get brand new that she dragged him to a store and got it on her card, no we are making payments to her!! the list goes on forever. yes yes she's trying to be nice, i know that. but i didn't ask for a wife/mother assistant. i'm quite happy, fine and better off really when i do things ALL my way. haha.
rant over. gr. gr. gr.
but yea i think they are just bored, that's all i can figure. she spends way too much time thinking about mine, hubby's and lo's life.

 

[bump_wanted]

That actually rips the mickey really taking him on a holiday!! Xx

 

[special_kala]

Why do they think our LOs are their baby ..

Yesterday, OH was on the phone to MIL (his mum) to see if she wanted to look after AJ for a few hours on Monday as she always moans about how she never gets him.

Ahem, yes you do .

Anyway, I'm a bit funny about being away from AJ for too long, as he is my first, and I'm really protective of him, so OH told her that it would be 3 hours maximum, and we'd come collect him.

She replied "Oh, well I was going to go to Haven on Monday night so I thought I could take him and give him back on Friday morning."

Eh, WTF!?

Don't think so.

Grr, rant over xx

Gets him?? Does she think hes something to borrow?

Personally I dont see why they need to have LO on their own. Cant they be happy to spend time together as a family with us parents too

 

[Gemz01]

i can never figure out why our mom's don't act like this but our mother in laws do... and then it dawned on me. our mothers care about us enough to honor our feelings on things (or at least to try not to piss us off). because really our moms must be as attached as our mils so why are they less annoying. it's not because we don't mind as much, i really believe our mils are more annoying because they just don't give a damn if they offend us or otherwise annoy us. and they know they can get away with it because who wants to tell their husband's mother off? yea, nobody.
my mil has been driving me looney. i feel like she's just playing house around here or something. obviously her mommy wifey time has passed, house setting up, baby health to look over etc. and she's just coming around here and giving advice, bringing me pictures to hang up, telling me what's wrong with my baby when she's whiney (and she's normally wrong but insists), she asks me to do a million little things for her as if i'm not swamped enough here, has even done my dishes (nice but no thanks), my husband was buying a washer/dryer for us and she was so insistant that we should get brand new that she dragged him to a store and got it on her card, no we are making payments to her!! the list goes on forever. yes yes she's trying to be nice, i know that. but i didn't ask for a wife/mother assistant. i'm quite happy, fine and better off really when i do things ALL my way. haha.
rant over. gr. gr. gr.
but yea i think they are just bored, that's all i can figure. she spends way too much time thinking about mine, hubby's and lo's life.

Love this post, I couldn't agree more.

My mother always respects what I am doing and never questions anything. She always passes Ava back to me when she starts crying, saying "Aw she wants her mummy!" but when the MIL has Ava and she starts crying she takes it up as a big challenge that she can settle her, and me nor my husband could possibly do it (like we aint been doing it for nearly 4 months now!)

 

[xnmd1]

are you meaning she wanted him for a WEEEK?!

HELLLL NOOOO!

 

[Ju_bubbs]

I'd just love it if my MIL asked that.. I'd laugh in her face!!
My MIL and SIL have both been on at me constantly to ler them babysit, even before LO was born! They expect me to take LO the 40 miles to their house and then leave her there.. even tho I'm not going anywhere and dont need anyone to take care of LO! She's not a bloody toy for everyone to 'have a go with'!!!

 

[xnmd1]

I'd just love it if my MIL asked that.. I'd laugh in her face!!
My MIL and SIL have both been on at me constantly to ler them babysit, even before LO was born! They expect me to take LO the 40 miles to their house and then leave her there.. even tho I'm not going anywhere and dont need anyone to take care of LO! She's not a bloody toy for everyone to 'have a go with'!!!

Ugh SIL is so annoying like that. The second shes around she literally CAN NOT stop touching Jarrett .. it drives me NUTS. Shes rubbing his head, and his cheek, holding his hand, tickling his back, poking at his stomach, grabbing his feet .. etc etc etc
LO was having a screaming fit (like red face, real tears) once because he had been with her, and awake for SEVEN hours without a nap, and i was trying to calm him and get him to sleep and she wouldn't stop tickleing his back while he screamed and screamed and I lost it and said JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU JUST STOP TOUCHING HIM.

Then she shot back with "Who cares? It doesn't even look like he LIKES you, if he DID he wouldn't be crying .. there is no reason for a baby to EVER cry unless YOU did something wrong to him" lucky she has absolutely zero experience with babies so I know she doesn't know anything about them but I could have smacked her around the face

sigh... rant over

 

[Faffalina]

I'd just love it if my MIL asked that.. I'd laugh in her face!!
My MIL and SIL have both been on at me constantly to ler them babysit, even before LO was born! They expect me to take LO the 40 miles to their house and then leave her there.. even tho I'm not going anywhere and dont need anyone to take care of LO! She's not a bloody toy for everyone to 'have a go with'!!!

LOL. What exactly are you supposed to do 40 miles from your place?

 

[Bubblefish]

My MIL is the same, when we take LO over to see her or she comes over here she basically takes over EVERYTHING and she has also hinted that we should leave LO with her, which we have a couple of times (not always out of choice) but the way she behaved afterwards, not wanting to give LO back etc, is it any wonder i don't feel like leaving her there? Sorry i went off on a rant there

 

[blue32]

My MIL is coming from Europe to the US to live with us for a year to help out when I go back to work. She's wonderful and it really is a blessing. She knows that we're not likely to visit too often and wants the chance to spend time with both oh and lo. After the year, she has to return to Europe for visa purposes and then hopes to return for another year (we'll see...). A few days ago, she and my FIL suggested that they could take my LO back with them for the three months so that we don't have to put him in daycare. I know she's absolutely in love with my lo and wants nothing but the best for him, but really! We politely declined and had a good laugh.

 

[Carrie29]

i think they need to come with their own rule books when you get married.. seriously one of the hardest things about marriage seems to be dealing with the MIL!.. lol!

 

[DrakensMom]

UGH, I actually think my MIL has a few screws loose.
For a while she would talk to me through my child, I've stopped responding to her until she asks me directly. (for a while that was the only way we'd communicate).
The 1st time she asked to take him for the night i was actually scared.
I really don't understand how my bf and his brother turned out so well.

 

[after autumn]

isnt it funny how they think they have ownership! mine MIL gets mad at me because i wont leave my baby with her ..hes only 3 weeks old!

 

[elephant29]

My mil us lovely but...

She always seems to want Lo on her own. My mum comes down, helps bathe Lo etc. I even said to oh that mil is missing out in things like that. I mentioned it to mil yesterday andand I think she got it.

I was in mils house with Lo last week and she kept snatching her off of me. At dinner, when I was showing sil how lo can sit mil came swooping past and just lifted her away!

Xxx

 

[xemmax]

i can never figure out why our mom's don't act like this but our mother in laws do... and then it dawned on me. our mothers care about us enough to honor our feelings on things (or at least to try not to piss us off). because really our moms must be as attached as our mils so why are they less annoying. it's not because we don't mind as much, i really believe our mils are more annoying because they just don't give a damn if they offend us or otherwise annoy us. and they know they can get away with it because who wants to tell their husband's mother off? yea, nobody.

Oh god, you talk about them like they are another race!

Let's hope you don't have a son and end up a paternal grandmother, you may then turn into the species you just described.

Generally speaking maternal grandmothers are closer to the mother and as they have known them their whole life they tend to already know the boundaries of that person so they don't push them as much. MILs have a different way of doing things as they didn't bring you up, and they don't know you as well as your own mother, and generally you'd trust your mother with your baby much more than anyone else. That is the difference between a paternal and a maternal grandmother - they're still just women, they aren't different, it is your relationship to them that is different.

If you have a son and a daughter then you will be both to different people. Your daughter may think you're the most fantastic grandmother in the world but you may still have a daughter in law who thinks you're an overbearing old woman.

 

[elephant29]

i can never figure out why our mom's don't act like this but our mother in laws do... and then it dawned on me. our mothers care about us enough to honor our feelings on things (or at least to try not to piss us off). because really our moms must be as attached as our mils so why are they less annoying. it's not because we don't mind as much, i really believe our mils are more annoying because they just don't give a damn if they offend us or otherwise annoy us. and they know they can get away with it because who wants to tell their husband's mother off? yea, nobody.

Oh god, you talk about them like they are another race!

Let's hope you don't have a son and end up a paternal grandmother, you may then turn into the species you just described.

Generally speaking maternal grandmothers are closer to the mother and as they have known them their whole life they tend to already know the boundaries of that person so they don't push them as much. MILs have a different way of doing things as they didn't bring you up, and they don't know you as well as your own mother, and generally you'd trust your mother with your baby much more than anyone else. That is the difference between a paternal and a maternal grandmother - they're still just women, they aren't different, it is your relationship to them that is different.

If you have a son and a daughter then you will be both to different people. Your daughter may think you're the most fantastic grandmother in the world but you may still have a daughter in law who thinks you're an overbearing old woman.

I said exactly this in another thread!

Of course we trust our mums more, we've grown up with them and know exactly how they act etc. We also know we can speak openly and freely to them if they annoy us. A lot of time we dont feel that way about MIL's so a lot of anger and resentment builds up.

I've only known my MIL 2 years so of course I feel a bit wierd around her sometimes. She loves my LO just as much as my mum though, she just doesnt love me just as much and thats the difference I think.

xxx

 

[special_kala]

Personally I dont allow my mother to do anything I wouldnt let anyone else do (MIL included)