Mixed emotions – feeling very upset with my self.

[purapura]

I just want to share my emotions with someone and also hear what you think.

Some background:
Hubby and I married for just over 2 years. Hubby was living with his X-girlfriend (before we got married) for 8 years, and they have a son. His son is almost 5 (his birthday is in September). So far, the son was coming to see his daddy for 2 days a week (1 weekday and another day in the weekend). But recently they moved to a different country (since December 2010).
I do not have any motherhood feelings for his son (I know some will judge me for it).

I find (as hubby does as well) his son very active and loud boy. And I am terrified by the thought that my son will be the same. I do not like this type of personality at all. I know I will love my son no matter how he will be but I am ashamed of myself even to think about it. Should I feel that way? Is it stupid?

 

[leahsbabybump]

its not silly every child hasthere own personality which is more than likely influenced by the people who are around.
if your baby would be spending a lot of time with your husbands son then maybee his personality could brush off againt him but its almost asif your baby is going tobe an only child forthe moment so will more then likely grow to be hisown person as no one around to influence
try no to worry yourself too much everyone has their own persoanity xx

 

[ClaireMuir123]

I think some kids are just like that, but I think alot of it is down to parenting. My son and nephew are 5 months apart and my nephew is very whingy, moany, cries all the time and misbehaves horribly. My sister just says thats the way he is. My son is respectful, has great manners, and had impecible behaviour (most of the time lol) But we both have VERY different parenting techniques and I'm very proud of my son for the way he behaves and how we've brought him up so far, but she's quite lazy in parenting and will do anything to get the easy way out.

Some kids do have a loud personality but I think mainly it's down to parenting. xxx

 

[Tommee]

Trust me once your LO is here you will love and cherish them no matter what. My son is almost 2 so at that age he is very active and into everything at the moment he's really hard work he even drove me to tears the other day because I can't do with him what I could pre pregnancy. I sat on the floor in tears and he came over sat on my knee and hugged me, now I wouldn't change that for the world

 

[xxchelseaxx]

Hey bump buddy

My nephew was hectic, loud, NEVER stopped talking. He was the most annoying child i had ever met and it sounds really awful but i actually hated him!

My youngest daughter Kayleigh is exactly the same only i don't hate her (obviously), i love her because she is mine, i worry alot about other people thinking the same about her as i did about my nephew. it makes me even more protective of her!
but saying that my oldest is really quiet, she likes reading and writing stories and learning.
They could not be more opposite!!
Either way you will love your little Liam no matter what his personality is, and plus as they grow their personality change too.
Don't feel bad for the feelings you have.




xxxx

 

[purapura]

Thank you all for your replies. You made me feel a bit better.

I am usually trying to ignore his screams and jumping around, but some days (if I am very tired or don’t feel very good/headache) I swear I have to stop my self from screaming! I am not his stepmother (I don’t want to be) and don’t feel right telling hubby how to raise his son, but I have to agree that I have notice that this behaviour is not only his personality but also his upbringing (his mom can not say NO to him), and hubby doesn’t want to fight his X over it, as the relationship between them quite bad.

 

[Braven05]

lol I love my boyfriend's daughters but I sure hope my little one doesn't take after his youngest. She's 7 years old and has ADHD, ODD, and probably some other things and she's a little maniac. She IS very loveable and adorable...I'm just hoping Baby Avery is more calm and has less issues lol

 

[Anderson8]

try not to worry.
i have a stepson whos 9, he lives with us half the time.
and although i love him loads, he is spoilt and can be a wee brat sometimes.
thats the way he has been brought up, he was always getting what he wants, getting his own way etc.
ive made it clear to hubby that theres no way that this LO will turn out the same and hubby cant mollycoddle LO the same way he has my stepson.

sometimes if a child is split between two home, both parents over compensate for the time the child isnt with them.

 

[tiggerpony]

I am not worried about my child being a brat or anything but I have seen my friends kids and sometimes i think "GOD WHY AM I HAVING A CHILD!?" Because seriously their behaviour is disgusting and the mum doesn't tell them off........she lets them get away with everything and they way the 3 year old boy speaks is disgraceful... hes a little shite lol. But if he had been brought up differnent he might behave differntly.

 

[purapura]

Thanks
Will try to relax and not to think about it too much! I am sure my boy will be great (in my eyes off course)