Mixed Signals

[bethstar]

Does anyone else get these from their OH?

For example, our next door neighbours have a 3 year old son. Over the weekend they were leaving their house as we were bringing some shopping in from the car and their son ran up to us waving and shouting hi (really sweet considering we've not long moved in and only met the neighbours once or twice). Anyway, my boyfriend turned to me after we'd passed them and goes 'AWW I want one!'. Which I thought was progress

Later the same day we were sat watching tv and an advert comes on (the one with the babies dancing if you know it ) and I say 'oh shall we just have one now!?' in a jokey way. Boyfriend looks absolutely horrified at the thought!

I understand he isn't ready yet but why do they have to get our hopes up and mess with our emotions like this? Grr

 

[prettybirdy27]

That sucks, I'm sorry. My OH did stuff like that to me when we were WTT, but I had to learn that when he says things like "Aww I want one" it means "I want one someday," not "I want one now."

 

[bethstar]

Thanks

haha yeah I guess I already know that's what he means it's just hard not to get hopes up!

 

[MummyKP]

I get mixed signs off hubby all the time. He can completely shake off a comment I've made about having a baby one minute, then the next discussing baby's room and arrival etc. Makes it hard to judge whether he will feel ready when we've said we will try! Men eh?!

 

[bethstar]

They are so frustrating!

Even more so when (traditionally) we have to wait until they're ready to propose, to try for a baby etc and they change their minds every 5 minutes!

These important decisions should definitely be down to us ladies lol

 

[MummyKP]

I know all the waiting is on them. If I had my way I'd have got married about 2 years ago, not 2 months ago lol but that was because he took his time to propose. & it's the same with a baby. If I had my way we'd be TTC'ing at Christmas, which I am working on with him ATM. I think it would be better if he could just say yes to TTC'ing in December rather than saying we'll have a chat in December!! Argh NO!! I wanna know now lol they are so frustrating!! & like I said to my hubby,it's all fair and well him saying he's not ready so we've gotta wait, but what about me that is ready and is having to wait for him?! Not fair if you ask me!

 

[bethstar]

Yup! My boyfriend always talks about 'his plan' but what about our plans!?

At least you're married (congratulations by the way! ) The fact we aren't married is always an excuse for wtt, but he seems in no hurry to propose. I'm trying not to mention it too much as I want him to be completely ready, but we'll have been together 5 years beginning of next year so not nagging is getting a lot harder

 

[LynAnne]

My DH does this quite a lot. One day he's talking about kids like he wants them now and the next it's all "someday". It drives me crazy knowing that it's all in his hands! I hope he's not going to keep me waiting for too much longer. We've only been married three months but we've been together for over nine. Not exactly rushing it! Haha.

 

[MummyKP]

LynAnne we are similar. Got married 2 1/2 months ago but been together over 9! He didn't rush proposing that's for sure lol it just annoys me that we're always on his timings because he's in control of it! He doesn't understand me when I say 'oh it's ok if we go by your rules because you aren't ready, and it's ok for me to be hurting because I want a family so bad' but that's just men for you! I'm hoping he'll take me by surprise at Christmas and say let's have a baby!! That would be my perfect Christmas present

 

[LynAnne]

Mummy KP: It definitely sucks to have to do everything by their time schedule. It feels absolutely horrible to have to wait until he's ready when every inch of my body is telling me that I'm ready to start having children. You'd think after two years of feeling like this I'd be used to it but I'm not! Haha. I'm hoping for the very same Christmas present this year but I don't think I'll be getting it. I hope you do!

 

[ottergirl]

Oh, I totally feel you on this! Talk about mixed signals: DH left on a two month job to Germany to work for NATO. Before he left, he threw caution to the wind and said, "Aw heck, let's make a baby." So we had unprotected sex. O.O And I was surprised to say the least. Well it didn't result in a pregnancy. When he got back suddenly it was, "We need to wait a few years."

Umm...kay. LOL Alrighty then. How's that for mixed signals??

 

[MummyKP]

I'll keep everything crossed for LynAnne, he might take you by surprise!us girls can dream about these things I guess!

Omg ottergirl I would be so mad if DH did that lol getting your hopes high thinking you are TTCing, but then changing his mind lol I'd be so sad too!

 

[LynAnne]

Otter girl: my DH sort of did this just before we got married. He decided he wanted to just try the pull out method (we only use condoms) but after two times and his paranoia of pregnancy setting in he was back using condoms. No sign of ditching them since and now he's talking about waiting until next year at the absolute earliest!

 

[ottergirl]

I'll keep everything crossed for LynAnne, he might take you by surprise!us girls can dream about these things I guess!

Omg ottergirl I would be so mad if DH did that lol getting your hopes high thinking you are TTCing, but then changing his mind lol I'd be so sad too!

I was a little baffled, but unfortunately I understand WHY he did it. It's just like...total confusion about what he wants And they say women are complicated! I don't mind waiting because we have 3 already, and they keep us pretty preoccupied. But dude. Make up your mind will ya?

Otter girl: my DH sort of did this just before we got married. He decided he wanted to just try the pull out method (we only use condoms) but after two times and his paranoia of pregnancy setting in he was back using condoms. No sign of ditching them since and now he's talking about waiting until next year at the absolute earliest!

Ugh did he really? Honestly, I don't get why women get the bad rap for being indecisive and emotional. Men are so irrational sometimes! I mean, what are the men afraid of anyway??? It's not like they have to carry the child and give birth to it!!

 

[MamaByrd]

Oh yes, my OH is always confusing me. Sometimes he just turns to me and says, "Let's have a baby." Then sometimes, Ill talk about babies and he'll completely tune me out!

Men.