Moms who had nightmare deliveries..

[Jaylynne]

How are you coping now? I still have issues watching labor and delivery programs on tv but much better now. The week up until his first birthday was a little rough. LO is the best thing I've ever had happen to me but I still have issues. What helped you?

 

[Randianne]

I'm sorry you had a traumatic delivery, but your son is beautiful.

I still have nightmares about being paralyzed. It's a long story, but the result was that my right leg was paralyzed after delivery. They didn't know if it was temporary or permanent. Luckily it was temporary and I regained full use of my leg back after six months. For the first weeks of LO's life I couldn't go to the bathroom by myself, much less care for LO. It was awful.

I don't watch labor stories either. I want another LO so much, but delivery scares me to death. I'm afraid this time I'll be permanently paralyzed.

What's helped is focusing on my happy and healthy LO. My midwife was also very reassuring. She's only seen one other case of this in fifteen years of practice, and the woman had a textbook second delivery. She's also willing to do a scheduled c-section next time if I want it. We also decided to start trying when LO is 2 instead of 1. That helped. It is getting better, so hopefully by then I'll be more mentally prepared.

 

[Jaylynne]

I really want another baby but DH doesn't. He got a vasectomy this past summer after my delivery scared him. My mom had eclampsia with her first and unfortunately he died. But she had two completely normal and natural births after. I keep thinking if I have another baby, I could have the birth experience I want. And I'd love a little girl (another boy would be fine too).

 

[happythought]

Honestly the only thing that helped me was giving birth again. I have a 1 yr old and had a very traumatic expierience. I had my second little one yesterday, and I was terrified. It was a completely different expierience. It was smooth, quick and all around better in every way. Of course it was labor though and had some pain along with it but now I am much more open to the idea of more children and will be more calm about the whole thing.

 

[kitabird]

I had a traumatic experience with my first and still can't watch labour/delivery on tv. I fast forward if it's part of a programme I'm watching.
I would have loved a better experience with my second but was too scared so opted for a section. I'm very jealous of women who have straightforward births!
Generally I'm ok though, I don't lie awake at night thinking about it anymore.

 

[Noelle610]

I feel the same as you do. I'm still not at peace with it.

 

[sandilion]

For some reason lately I have been feeling really down about my delivery.... and yeah i guess im not over it. I had a placenta abruption and it was a terrible scary painful 4 day ordeal before LO was born 8 weeks prem.

Now i find myself feeling sad i didn't carry him full term, and a bit embarrassed when people ask me about it. I don't know why this has come on... I used to be so proud of what LO and i went through and the fact we came out so strong, but it seems lately i have had it a bit rubbed in my face that i "don't know what its like to carry a LO full term" and i ended up having an epi after the 4 day of hell, so i have had people rub in my face that they never had a epi etc etc...

So yeah i feel like as of late I am having to learn how to be ok with it again ... its like the reality of it has hit me or something. I don't really know. I guess i worry it'll happen again too and wont be so lucky next time.

 

[mommytobe11]

mine wasn't very traumatic, but it was everything i didn't want. i was induced because of pre-eclampsia, ended up with a c-section and was put under general anesthesia. i was talking to a woman the other day that is due in a couple days and started crying when she left because she'll probably have the labor and delivery i wanted so yeah, haven't actually dealt with it yet

 

[izzlesnizzle]

I worry the same thing will happen again and it scares me to think of having another. I was in labour for 42 hours and ended up having an emergency c section coz she was back to back and got stuck and although i was put on a syntocinon drip to force me to progress, i never made it past 6 cms. Somehow my blood got mixed with hers (im rh neg and shes rh positive) and made antibodies during labour which dropped my platelets to a dangerous level so they wouldnt let me have an epidural and i had to endure contractions that were made alot worse by the synto drip on only pethidine. The pethidine didnt touch the pain and i was hallucinating and talking absolute rubbish. I thought i was going to die with the pain and was pushing on a 6cm cervix and they were telling me to stop pushing (but i couldnt coz i was feeling urges to push) and telling me the baby would have a brain haemorrage if i didnt stop pushing. I was screaming the ward down and begging them to put me out as i couldnt take the pain anymore. Urghhh it was a horrible experience and it frightens me to think of going through it again.

 

[candyem]

Mine was far from ideal. Three solid nights of contractions before an emcs. LO arrived safely in the end though, which is the most important thing.

I struggled at first. I hadn't even considered needing a CS. It probably bothered DH more than me tbh because he saw it all happen and was worried for both me and LO. I have spoke about it with lots of people and am now feeling much better about it. The more time that passes the more positives I seem to find with the experience.

We are going to ttc again in the summer and my theory is surely it can't be that bad again, but as long as there is a healthy baby at the end, anything that happens will be worth it

 

[aliss]

I didn't feel at peace until after my 2nd birth (which was amazing). I was terrified until then, I spent a lot of nights in tears before wondering why I had 'done that to myself again' (ie. get pregnant).

 

[Unexpected212]

Horrible Stuff mentioned:

I can't watch one born every minute

I went in at midnight after having contractions from 7am. I was 3/4cm but the midwife said I was too calm so she said I should stay in a room overnight. At 8am they came after not checking me or the baby in 8 hours. I wasn't even allowed my Oh or mum in the room.

I begged them to check me and she was reluctant after 8 hours! and I was 8cm. So i'd gone through that with no pain relief. They then noticed with every contraction babies heart rate was dropping and rushed me to consultant led ward. He had cord compression from cord round his neck twice we later found out.

It ended in a 38 hour that ended with forceps and a nasty cut and stitches that took forever to heal.

I really do feel traumatised. He is only 4 months, and I still don't like to think about it and can't watch birth on TV.

YET I still can't wait to have another one. Very strange.

 

[Lettuce]

Had a 36 hour induced labour, 2 hours of pushing, failed forceps, emcs and major hemorrage. (over 2.5litres)
Still not over it. Off to counselling on friday for the first time, hoping it'll help!
Can't watch any birth programs. I feel I need another baby to cure me!

 

[katherinegrey]

I'm still not over mine, but then it has only been two and a half months, but so much so that although I want more children, I only want a c section next time. I ended up with a failed epidural and had to get it in done twice, a baby with foetal distress that had to be delivered immediately and my cervix had to pushed manually by the doctor to 10cm as I wasn't ready to deliver, a drip to increase contractions as I wasn't dilating properly, then a massive episiotomy and lots of stitches, and ventouse and when that failed forceps, and my baby was back to back and stargazing and ended up being over 9lb, and then I lost twice the normal amount of blood. Still terrified of giving birth and still feel bad I didn't get a good experience.

 

[WantsALittle1]

I feel the same when I see L&D programs, and it's especially hard having tons of pregnant friends who have uneventful vaginal deliveries with no NICU stays. My brain can't even wrap around the idea that a baby can be taken home 3 days after he/she is born. It took us 35 days to see our daughter lying in her bassinet, nestled in her blankets, wearing her own clothes.

Our daughter was born at 31+3 due to fetal distress from cord entanglement. We were sure we were going to lose her, and it's a miracle that she survived long enough to be delivered when she had such a tight triple nuchal cord. The nurses and doctors were so terrified when her heart rate started dropping that they fumbled to get my line in. It would have been comical if we all weren't so scared of J dying. It took them 6 jabs to get an IV in me. I had a horrid black hematoma on my hand for a month from them blowing veins in my left hand. They also blew out 2 veins in each arms. I am terrified of having another baby (even though we want 2 more) and feel cheated out of a standard birth and bonding experience. At the end of the day, though, we are glad she's still here and are preparing ourselves emotionally for giving her a little brother or sister...

Totally understand your pain!

 

[WantsALittle1]

For some reason lately I have been feeling really down about my delivery.... and yeah i guess im not over it. I had a placenta abruption and it was a terrible scary painful 4 day ordeal before LO was born 8 weeks prem.

Now i find myself feeling sad i didn't carry him full term, and a bit embarrassed when people ask me about it. I don't know why this has come on... I used to be so proud of what LO and i went through and the fact we came out so strong, but it seems lately i have had it a bit rubbed in my face that i "don't know what its like to carry a LO full term" and i ended up having an epi after the 4 day of hell, so i have had people rub in my face that they never had a epi etc etc...

So yeah i feel like as of late I am having to learn how to be ok with it again ... its like the reality of it has hit me or something. I don't really know. I guess i worry it'll happen again too and wont be so lucky next time.

Same here. My sister just delivered her little guy at 37+5 and when she was at 36-37 weeks she was asking me questions about the baby dropping and about what labor feels like and I was so sad to have to tell her that I had no idea about either

 

[Jaylynne]

I didn't even get the chance to start being apprehensive about labor. LO was born at barely 32 weeks after I was already in the hospital for close to a week trying to keep him in as long as I could. I had severe pre-e and I could feel my body giving out no matter how hard i tried. Worst thing ever. I do feel like I failed my son even though logically I did nothing wrong. Add on the whole failed breastfeeding (pumped for 7/8 months) only to find out it was an easy fix with tongue tie that we had snipped at 7 months. LO was born via emcs after I had a complete placenta abruption and was bleeding out. It was just so scary seeing the drs flying around and the surgeon asking me what my blood type was as if they wouldn't have enough time to look at the chart. I still have nightmares about feeling myself being forcibly strapped down to the operating room table and DH not allowed to come in with me. He said I almost needed a hysterectomy. But yeah, I want another baby... Call me crazy but I'd love another one. LO was definitely worth it.

 

[Twinkie210]

My first was a very rough delivery (induction/forcep delivery/episiotomy/4th degree tear). DS had a nuchal cord which was putting him in distress. I had hypertension and was spiking a fever by delivery. I also got an infection post partum.

I imagined that my second delivery would be my "ideal" delivery... Nope little guy was breech for 2 months and I ended up with a c-section. But he was much larger than his brother and probably would have ended up as a c-section anyway as his brother got stuck, so I kind of think he knew he wouldn't fit through the birth canal which is why he stayed breech. I have kind of accepted that I will not ever have a "normal" vaginal delivery.

 

[WantsALittle1]

I didn't even get the chance to start being apprehensive about labor. LO was born at barely 32 weeks after I was already in the hospital for close to a week trying to keep him in as long as I could. I had severe pre-e and I could feel my body giving out no matter how hard i tried. Worst thing ever. I do feel like I failed my son even though logically I did nothing wrong. Add on the whole failed breastfeeding (pumped for 7/8 months) only to find out it was an easy fix with tongue tie that we had snipped at 7 months. LO was born via emcs after I had a complete placenta abruption and was bleeding out. It was just so scary seeing the drs flying around and the surgeon asking me what my blood type was as if they wouldn't have enough time to look at the chart. I still have nightmares about feeling myself being forcibly strapped down to the operating room table and DH not allowed to come in with me. He said I almost needed a hysterectomy. But yeah, I want another baby... Call me crazy but I'd love another one. LO was definitely worth it.

You did not fail your son--he is here, alive and well, which means you did a great job even with all you had to endure. i feel the same anxiety when I picture my tiny L&D room filling with doctors and nurses in a manner of seconds. it goes from casual concern to emergency before you've had time to process.

With regards to the tongue-tie, what were the symptoms? I also pump exclusively because LO can't BF... She screams like a banshee when I try!

 

[maisie78]

Kinda like mommytobe11 I couldn't claim to have had the most traumatic birth but it was nothing like I wanted. I had planned a home birth, had pool ready and tens machine on standby and I WAS NOT having an epidural. Fast forward 48 hours after my waters broke and I was having an emcs after failure to progress and baby's hb dropping. I was so disappointed not to have 'given birth' and then baby couldn't latch so now I EE instead of BF which is what I wanted to do. It just feels like I failed and can't relate to women that actually gave birth and fed their babies. I was looking forward to the new series of OBEM until it actually started then I couldn't bear to watch it. So yes I get what you mean xxx