Month # 4

[Mandyloo]

Hi Girls,

AF got me this morning so I am on day 1 of month #4. I feel so helpless and sad by this whole process. I am only 24 and everyone told me oh its going to happen so fast for you. Well it hasnt. My husband constantly says its all I think and talk about but is not on board to me temping, or using OPKs. I think he feels like that will take the fun out of it. He doesnt want baby making to become a chore.

Has anyone found that using these tools has made them feel more laid back? I am wondering if temping or using OPKs is going to make me feel empowered instead of just helpless....

I do track CM and I definitely got EWCM last month for 3 days. So I am really not sure how we werent successful. ugh I need to pick myself up again and get ready for this month.

 

[jeepprincess]

Hi Girls,

AF got me this morning so I am on day 1 of month #4. I feel so helpless and sad by this whole process. I am only 24 and everyone told me oh its going to happen so fast for you. Well it hasnt. My husband constantly says its all I think and talk about but is not on board to me temping, or using OPKs. I think he feels like that will take the fun out of it. He doesnt want baby making to become a chore.

Has anyone found that using these tools has made them feel more laid back? I am wondering if temping or using OPKs is going to make me feel empowered instead of just helpless....

I do track CM and I definitely got EWCM last month for 3 days. So I am really not sure how we werent successful. ugh I need to pick myself up again and get ready for this month.

Good luck dear, sorry to hear that your so down in the dumps. My husband and I are TTC #1 also and this will be our 4th month as well. It is very frustrating and you feel like your doing something wrong, but your not. Statistics prove that its actually hard to get everything just right, thats why so many people have mc's. You only have a 20% each month that your ttc..which makes you wonder who anyone is lucky enough to get pregnant. My husband is ok with me charting temps and using OPK's but I think its making me a little bit more crazy This is my first cycle charting temps and using opks but I think it will be the only month I do so. I really just wanted to see if I was O'ing when I thought I was or when "they say your suppose to". We all are different and it takes time...so as hard as it is we just have to try and relax and enjoy the Hope you get your soon and lots of to you....

 

[Mialia]

I completely understand what you are going through. I'm also 24 and have been trying for several months already. My DH is totally on board with ttc, but he doesn't want to really know all the details of how to make happen. It makes him feel like were are doing this just to make a baby instead of for the fun of it. I just try to keep the temping to myself ( he knows I'm temping, but I just don't make conversation over it...it has just become a morning routine). You are not alone in how you feel...there are tons of us trying for the same thing---Praying we get our BFPs soon!

 

[stouffer]

I'm on cycle 12 now. I didn't start using OPKs until cycle 5. I didn't start temping properly until this month. All I can say is I wish I had started sooner. I realised after starting OPKs that we probably weren't doing it at the right times. The day before and the day you O are the best 2 days and you can't really tell when that is with EWCM alone.

Maybe you could do OPKs and temp and just keep your husband out of the picture?

 

[fides]

this is now my 4th cycle post-miscarriage of trying for a healthy baby. last month was our first month trying a OPK, and we're doing Billings Ovulation Method for charting (took us 13 cycles to get preggo the first time, but we didn't start charting until cycle #4).

the OPK was neat, because it confirmed that I am at least ovulating, but it did get my hopes up unnecessarily.

 

[Serene123]

Firstly, OPKs do not guarantee you are ovulating.

I think you need to chill out. Coming from someone who got caught up very fast in the beginning I know 100% how you feel but 4 months is just 4 tries x

 

[sept10]

I find temping and OPKs a positive thing as it makes me feel i'm doing something, confirms i have O'd and also when my af is late or acting funny i know i'm not preggo cause my temp has dropped so it stops me from getting too excited. I started doing all this as i came off the pill and wanted to get a grip of my cycle. i'm hoping if my next couple of cycles are all the same (if i don't get a BFP in the meantime!!) then i am going to stop all the temping and OPKs etc and chill out a bit about it. I don't tell my DH about all the temping and OPKs, he knows i'm doing it and he is happy with that but he doesn't want to know all the ins and outs...thats why i come on here!!

 

[Mandyloo]

@ jeep princess - thank you for all of your kind words and support its really nice to know that we are all going through the same things and that I am not the only one who is frustrated with this process. I really hope this is your month! Did you find temping and the OPKs helpful? where you ovulating when you thought you were?

 

[jeepprincess]

@ jeep princess - thank you for all of your kind words and support its really nice to know that we are all going through the same things and that I am not the only one who is frustrated with this process. I really hope this is your month! Did you find temping and the OPKs helpful? where you ovulating when you thought you were?

I was starting to get frustrated with the temping and the opk's but yesterday my temp dropped and then this morning my temp spiked by .40 degrees and I just checked my opk and it was my first + so I'm actually glad that I have been putting the time in to temp each day. I was mad at myself yesterday bc after a box and a half of opk's I read on here that the best time to test is between 2and 8pm. NOT FMU, which is what I was doing bc my directions didn't say that....After doing a little research it says its best to hold your urine for a couple hours without drinking much and then check. A lot of women on here test at 10 am...but i've noticed everyone checks at different times. I just did at 930 and it was positive. Luckily we have been BDing the past few nights and lastnight and I hope tonight too Good luck!!! Ohhh and no I wasn't ovulating when I thought...today is day 17 I just assumed i was day day 14 since I'm 28 day cycle...but I was wrong. Not sure if I had a positive opk yesterday morning bc I did FMU but we shall see.

 

[Mandyloo]

@ stouffer - I have thought about trying to just keep him out of the loop but I feel bad or guilty not sure what it is.

Before we started trying I was picturing awesome sex and the oh pregnant in one month. Now I worry I am not laying down long enough after sex or should be doing it more. I guess I feel like leaving him out of these decisions is weird since the whole reason we want a baby is because we love each other.... I will probably through this whole thing out the window next month from frustration but unfortunately this is where I am right now

 

[Mandyloo]

jeep princess- WOW is definitely sounds like its helping then! Thats grat! Yes I have been assuming between day 12-15 for me. My husband last night said that maybe we should just bd every other day the whole month so we cant really miss anything. I feel like we have been doing to much in the beginning and then we slack of for the rest of the month.

 

[Mandyloo]

Sept10 - I guess thats a good point about using this site as an outlet I use it for frustration and learning! I have learned so much since I joined!

I will definitely give all of this some thought since it sounds like it might be helpful. The OPKs are easy I feel like because I can do them at work and my husband wouldnt even see them... Maybe thats the best Idea!

 

[Mandyloo]

Serene123 - thank you for your advice. You are probably right I need to find a way to relax as I know I have been putting alot of pressure on myself to get pregnant THIS month. its not a race and I shouldnt rush so maybe if I try and put it out of my head it will happen on its own.

 

[jeepprincess]

Mandyloo.... Yea, you can try the EOD method and see if that works for you. They also say if you can figure out your ovulation then do EOD starting on day 10 of your cycle and then on day 14 do every day until day 18 which hopefully you O in there somewhere. If this doesn't work maybe next cycle you can buy some opk's and just test without telling him, that way he doesn't feel over stressed. Not meaning to lie about it, but not advertise it to him. Good luck sweetie!!!

 

[Mandyloo]

oh good plan, thank you! good luck to you too! I hope you catch the eggy!