more stress just what i need :(

[MummyMummy]

i've posted several times about ex not being in babies life much and not making an effort no matter how many times i say/shout anything to/at him.

last night baby was in our bed and was yet again debating with himself 'i see my daddy nooo i see my daddy nooo' it's always the same thing he'll make a statement then say 'nooo' after it, always about his daddy. so today i phoned up health visitor just for a bit of info and she said she would send somebody out to talk to us because it is a bit of a concern. she said moving and the new baby could be causing him some anxietys too, but he never mentions new baby/moving house? just his daddy. he seems (most of the time, unless it re: sharing) happy enough about baby... so long as he/she turns out to be a girl not a boy rofl: don't know a solution to that though!!) but now i'm worrying that I have caused him so mental damage because I split up from his daddy because I wasn't happy and I was sick of his daddys lazy ways

not just that though but he is constantly active and never sits still and just runs around like a crazy child and is aaaalways chattering away (even his teachers sayhe's a right chatter box... and he's only been there around 2 weeks!!) and doesn't seem to wanna sit still unless it's bedtime (when he's tired) or a cartoon is on and even then he's always changing positions fidgety and they sound very much like adhd symptoms from what i've read, what makes me worry more so is that he's full of this never ending energy but doesn't seem to eat much, to justify all that extra energy! he doesn't often eat sugary foods/drinks, he does eat mc donalds abit but as far as fizzy drinks and sweets he hardly has them he actually asks for water! and i'm worrying that because when he was little my nan used to put tele on for him aaaalot and when i was preg with him i read that could be a factor in adhd so didn't want him watching it but nan just ignored me and told me that i was 'reading that computer rubbish too much' and from what i've read again it still says that watching tv young could be a contributing factor

anybody any advice re: the above? he's 3, dunno if that makes any difference to anything?

i'm 33weeks preg and so so stressed

xXx

 

[babystar]

As far as I know kids dont get tested for the ADHD till about 5 or over (I knew a girl who was adament her boy was and argued with the doc to get him tested but he was just passed 2 so doc said not till hes 5 at least...)

Kids take time to major adjustments I dont think you will have caused him any mental health damage. Hes still real young and even though he is kinda grasping whats going on he's not fully grapsing it...if you get what I mean?

I dont want to be nosey and ask you abut whenn hes older and access to his father etc cos its not my place to but just wanted to say if you do intend on him seeing his dad regularly when hes much older he will have more understanding of what went on etc. My friend split form his wife and she has only in the last yr given him access to his 2 kids...(7 and 4) and the 7 yr old knows that mummy and daddy couldnt stay together because they didnt love eachother anymore and she is fine with it as long as her mummy and daddy are fine. The 4 yr old just thinks its great full stop cos now he believes he gets 2 birthdays and 2 xmases

I hope you get something sorted soon to make you feel at ease

 

[peekers]

i didnt want to read and not say anything, i wish i knew somethng i could tell you. im sorry u are going through this. just wanted to send you some hugs

 

[snettyb]

Your son sounds very much like mine with regards to the ADHD worries. When he was 2 and a half they put it down to him being too intelligent now he's nearly 7 he has settled a bit but his teachers say he never shuts up and asks too many questions. This i already know.....i do live with him lol. It sounds like there has been alot for the little guy to deal with lately which is not your fault hun, its just that children don't know how to express their concerns and thoughts like adults do so they act it out in other ways if that makes sense.

My son see's his dad very little, about 4 x a year maybe( even tho i have never restricted access), but when he does see him he promises him things then breaks his heart so i am in the process of putting a stop to him seeing his son. I will still allow his mother to see him just not my ex, my son deserves more than that.

I think your beating yourself up a bit too much about things sweetie, it sounds to me that you are a good mum who is concerned about her little boy but your struggling due to being pregnant. You ask how many of us preggo's with kids already are really finding it hard and i bet 99% of us will raise our hands.

keep your chin up hunny xx

 

[MummyMummy]

thankyou for all the reassurance, feel so blah just thinking i'm doing such bad things to him

my mr. man keeps saying it's my hormones and once i have baby i will feel so less worried and stressed. i hope he's right. never had any of this crying rubbish when was preg 1st time,i was just a grump

feels like everybodydoes everything better than you.

thankyou again.

xXx

 

[sarah_george]

As far as the ADHD goes if he sleeps well at night the likelihood is that he doesnt have it, not conclusive but thats a major sympton to watch for, my son is 4 and he's really well behaved at school but does sound how you describe at home! He's recently gotten into gaming and although they dont reccomend it it has helped calm him down loads as a lot of it was just boredom! as far as his mentioning his dad is concerned its nice you let him talk so freely about it but i would watch that he doesnt pick up on your guilt about it and use it to get attention when he's bored, its a shame your ex doesnt have more to do with him if thats what he is asking but you cant blame yourself for that or force the relationship thats up to your ex, ive experienced a similar situation and all you can do is make the best of a bad one and try your best xxx

 

[MummyMummy]

As far as the ADHD goes if he sleeps well at night the likelihood is that he doesnt have it, not conclusive but thats a major sympton to watch for, my son is 4 and he's really well behaved at school but does sound how you describe at home! He's recently gotten into gaming and although they dont reccomend it it has helped calm him down loads as a lot of it was just boredom! as far as his mentioning his dad is concerned its nice you let him talk so freely about it but i would watch that he doesnt pick up on your guilt about it and use it to get attention when he's bored, its a shame your ex doesnt have more to do with him if thats what he is asking but you cant blame yourself for that or force the relationship thats up to your ex, ive experienced a similar situation and all you can do is make the best of a bad one and try your best xxx

i try to force him.. but only to make my son happy, i'm realising now it doesn't work though i can't keep doing that anyway at 33weeks preg as it goes without saying stress and high bp don't makea healthy combo when so close to the big day. i'd never stop him talking about his dad, it isn't my place although i'm start to think his dad is taking the p again, but as far as mentioning him then that can only be a positive surly? just not the debating/talking to himself :s

at night he sleeps really well, and snetty mentioned her lil one being super intelligent and each health care provider my son has seen have all said he is above the average intelligence and developement chart... so they are both good signs aren't they ? odd you mention your lil one liking computer games because myson is v.interested in the 360 and even the snes/mario (super cool retro baby i do believe ) so maybe try new activites for him? hard atm with this spd/pgp... i forgot the last time when i chased him around the floor or got on the floor with him to tickle/play fight/blow raspberrys/nibble is belly likea 'mummy monster' can't believe i just admited to that

xXx

 

[impatient1]

My boyfriend has adhd which doesnt affect him so much anymore now at age 27, I do notice he can stay awake and work himself to death more than any normal person could tho. When he was younger he didn't eat a lot of sugar or anything but his mom did find out that he couldn't eat oranges or anything with red dye in it (as they both made him very hyper, even with his ridilin). Not sure on the age of testing or anything tho. I do know that when he was younger he would climb up book shelves and such, but when watching tv (to this day) he completely zones out and doesn't hear anything else.

 

[MummyMummy]

My boyfriend has adhd which doesnt affect him so much anymore now at age 27, I do notice he can stay awake and work himself to death more than any normal person could tho. When he was younger he didn't eat a lot of sugar or anything but his mom did find out that he couldn't eat oranges or anything with red dye in it (as they both made him very hyper, even with his ridilin). Not sure on the age of testing or anything tho. I do know that when he was younger he would climb up book shelves and such, but when watching tv (to this day) he completely zones out and doesn't hear anything else.

my mr.man commented on that about 3year old! that when he's watching tele he ignores everything else around him, including talking to him! grandad has also commented on it i think i'm just glad of him sitting still

xXx

 

[MummyMummy]

My boyfriend has adhd which doesnt affect him so much anymore now at age 27, I do notice he can stay awake and work himself to death more than any normal person could tho. When he was younger he didn't eat a lot of sugar or anything but his mom did find out that he couldn't eat oranges or anything with red dye in it (as they both made him very hyper, even with his ridilin). Not sure on the age of testing or anything tho. I do know that when he was younger he would climb up book shelves and such, but when watching tv (to this day) he completely zones out and doesn't hear anything else.

my mr.man commented on that about 3year old! that when he's watching tele he ignores everything else around him, including talking to him! grandad has also commented on it i think i'm just glad of him sitting still

xXx