mother in-law arggg

Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive' started by tryng4another, Jan 25, 2011.

  1. tryng4another

    tryng4another Well-Known Member

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    so last night i found out my friend was 5weeks pregnant she also has a little girl same each as my daughter (2).today when we were round seeing my inlaws, i had mentioned that my friend was pregnant.her reply was that is silly, you would be mad to have them so close.she makes this very clear everytime that she finds out someone is pregnant if they already have a child under 3.its just starting to really get to me.we have not told her that we are trying to conceive at the moment.i just get the feeling she wont be so happy that when or if i do conceive again.when i conceived our daughter she wasnt so happy even though she totally adores my daughter since that day she was born. i just feel like snapping at her saying not every1 wants a 10yr gap like she did and that me and her son are trying at the moment.see how she likes that.or telling her to keep her opinion to herself.i just wont be telling her any more if a friend is pregnant, cos her opinion will just annoy me.i thought she would want more gran kids sooner rather than later.
     
  2. QueSeraSera

    QueSeraSera .oh so in love.

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    aww hun...some mums just dont know how to keep their opinions to themselves. my MIL is the same and always going on about what she thinks and how she sees it, but she never stops to consider if the things she says may hurt or affect anyone else. i know its hard, but just try to ignore the things she says and do what is right for your family. i know what you mean, there is a nearly 10 year gap between me and my older brother and a 5 year gap between OH and his younger brother, and we both want our kids to be closer in age than that. different people want different things and that is perfectly fine. unfortunately, in my experience, MILs are pretty set in their ways and I wouldn expect her attitude to change or for her to think more about the things she says. just try to shrug it off! ;) and, btw, happy TTC! :D
     
  3. mom22boys

    mom22boys Well-Known Member

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    My mom always chimes in too, that I have my hands full. She told my friend that was pregnant that she sure was glad it was her pregnant and not me. How rude!

    My MIL told me that I had my hands full and that another child was something I really did not need.

    Really it is no ones business what a couple does. (with the exception of people who do not take care of their own kids and leave them with their parents all the time and who count on the grandparents for $ support- then I believe g-parents have a right to speak up)

    My plan is not to tell anyone until we just have too! (family anyway) I do not need their negativity!
     
  4. DMG83

    DMG83 Mum to 1 beautiful girl

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    there's 18month between my sister and me, 18months between her and my next brother, and 3 years between him and my next sister - we had a perfect idyllic childhood, I also have 4 older brothers and sisters and i feel like they missed out because they were so much older!!!

    MIL's always think they know best, we've all got our horror stories :winkwink: you could just explain why you want your family close in age, and if she still has issues just drop in something mean, like "oh wouldn't it be lovely to move away and live the perfect life by the.. *insert choice location*".. she'll be so bothered by that she won't think to worry about age gaps with your children anymore!! :rofl:
     
  5. bassdesire

    bassdesire Well-Known Member

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    trying4another-what have you done with me and my body? i think you stole my life!

    seriously can't stand the MIL making comments about child spacing. my daughter is 1 months and we are trying. 2 years apart is not that close.

    UGH! understand completely.
     
  6. katertots

    katertots Well-Known Member

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    I really feel you on this one! My mother in law has NO idea that we are trying. If she did know, I hate to know what she would do or so. She cant even handle having a normal conversation with me without saying something to piss me off.
     
  7. angeleyez92

    angeleyez92 Pregnant with 1st baby!<3

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    wow... compared to your ladies MIL'S my MIL is the nicest person on earth. :haha: She is so excited to have grandchildren and she is already telling me she wants atleast 4 or 5. His family sees that as normal though. They are not bothered by the fact that I am young..
     
  8. katertots

    katertots Well-Known Member

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    You are very very lucky angeleyez. My mil thinks everything is about her, and even told my hubs her pastors wife wishes she had married her daughter. Yeah we have been married for 4 years. LOL
    GET OVER IT ALREADY!
     
  9. katlin

    katlin Mom of 5

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    man o man i love my mil's attitude towards it shes very supportive........now my mother has this belief that somehow a family with more then 2 children there must be something wrong with the parents, there dysfunctionable ect. My mom thinks children shouldnt be anymore then 24 months apart and if they are the family should only have had 1 child. N she also believes babies are dispensible that if youget pregnant and things arnt perfect you should abort immediatly. N that doesnt even begin to dent the issues with her, n she cant clue in why i moved 10 hours away and am not very enthusiastic to chat with her because by the time im done the conversation its ruined the rest of my day........bleh...
     
  10. katertots

    katertots Well-Known Member

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    I know the feeling.... I am hoping it will get better.
     
  11. sherylb

    sherylb SAHM of 2

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    My MIL is great about our TTC. My sister-in-law and I are both TTC and we both talk about it openly with the family. I am not sure how I will feel when it's my kids that are close in age but I can't handle my cousin's 2 kids together (2 boys, 1 1/2 and 3) because I don't spend enough time with kids their age.
     
  12. tryng4another

    tryng4another Well-Known Member

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    i just have always had the idea of having my children abit close.there is a 3 and half year gap between me and my little brother and i love it.were so close to each other and have always looked after each other too.were as oh never had that with his sister.his mum always tells me how close they use to be, but if you seen them both now.they hate being near each other.dont get me wrong i love my MIL she is good just not when it comes to granchildren. im glad im not the only 1 who is going through tough times with the MIL about trying to give them granchildren.the good thing is i know my dad and his partner will be over the moon, as his partner is always saying that my daughter needs a brother and sister.though they dont know were ttc at the moment.we decided not to tell any1 until were ready.
     

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