Mummies with 2+ : heard something that bummed me out today

[superfrizbee]

DD is nearly 2 and we have another on the way mid October. I was at work today and had a meeting with a really nice lady who works as a consultant for us. She has two kids who are 9 and 7 and we were talking about them when she started talking about how much she adored her son. All good. Then she said "I know you shouldn't have favourites, but I suppose if I was really pushed to answer he would be mine". This has played on my mind all afternoon, because now I'm worried I'll love one of my kids more prior to this I believed kids were loved equally, if not for different qualities and personalities. Is this the exception or the rule, and if so are mummies just not willing to admit they prefer one child over the other?

 

[seoj]

Oh hun- don't worry. Of course you'll love both your kids a ton- that doesn't mean you won't love them differently. Kids have different personalities for sure- and you may connect with one on a level and the other on a different level- that doesn't mean the love is "less". I suppose some parents do have favorites- I've heard friends say they knew they were (or weren't)- but I don't think that is the norm.

I know my situation is different- as I have a 16yr old SD (who I've raised full time with hubby for the past 8yrs)- and our LO... so obviously I know and love them in different ways. But I still love them both to bits!

My Mom connected with me on certain levels and my brother on others- and since she only had one of each, she could always say "your my fav daughter!" lol-- but, at the end of the day, she loved, supported, encouraged and cared for us both.

 

[aimee-lou]

I have 3, all boys, and I love them all so much I can't even describe! However, my middle one is such a live-wire that he steals the show wherever he goes and he's everyone's 'favourite'. My youngest is only 9m so is still very much a baby and as such I'm pretty much the only one who likes him as he's cranky a lot of the time lol. My eldest is very serious and can be a bit shy and awkward - it's an age thing I think - so he doesn't really connect with people well at first.

As in any relationship, we get on better with some than others, and connect with some differently to others. It's not really the done thing to say you have a favourite but I suspect the pushed most people would say there is one child that they're more bonded with or have more in common with than the others. That's not to say that they don't love them, and want to protect and nurture them. It's just the way nature works.

I did find this https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2281781/1-12-parents-admits-having-child-love-rest.html It's daily mail though so pinch of salt at the ready lol.

There was also a guy on a blog who admitted to having a favourite child who got virtually stoned and some really nasty abuse because of this. I don't think that it's as cut and dry as people like to think.

 

[Eleanor ace]

Hand on heart I don't have a favourite. My kids are very different personality wise and I imagine as they get older I'll connect with them in different ways, have one that I enjoy spending quiet tie with more and one that I enjoy running round at the park more, but it doesn't mean I'll love one more than the other.
I know its different but I have two brothers and I love them equally- the heart doesn't automatically rate!

 

[Natasha2605]

I don't have a favorite. I couldn't imagine so. Love comes in so many different forms but I know I do not love my kids differently from one another.

 

[Zinky]

Love them both tonnes equally. When I was pregnant with number 2 I did wonder if I could love another baby as much as my first, but once they are born the love comes naturally.

 

[x__amour]

I could never imagine having a favorite... They both just mean the absolute world to me.

 

[lau86]

I often worry my second son is my favourite. He is so easy to love. I have to work a bit harder at it with my oldest, I've got no idea why. I wish it wasn't like that but it is. Maybe it's an age thing and my toddler is just harder work

 

[alicecooper]

I have 4 kids and honestly I can't pick a favourite.

I get on well with my daughter because she's intelligent (as well as the eldest), and I can have more "grown up" conversations with her. It's more like talking to a little adult with her rather than a child. She can understand a lot more than the others and I actually feel like I'm talking to a friend, rather than having those sort of tedious conversations you have with a young child.

My eldest son is a comedian and make me laugh so much. He's got the most infectious giggle and I love being around him because he's so energetic and uplifting.

My second son is a real sweetheart. He's such a mummy's boy and gives me countless cuddles and hugs. He also has his funny amusing moments and brings a smile to my face.

My baby is a right cheeky little chap. He's got this smile that could light up a room, and is such a little entertainer, I think he's gonna be like his eldest brother (they look alike too).

No way could I pick a favourite, they're all so gorgeous in their own way.

Don't get me wrong, sometimes one (or more) of them is driving me mad, in which case at that particular point I'd prefer to be with one of the ones that is behaving, but that's totally normal, and changes on a daily (sometimes hourly!) basis!

 

[Mrs Mc]

I can honestly say I dont have a favourite. Cant describe how I much I adore them . They are very different personalities but still love them equally.
DD1 is my cuddly girl, who asks for cuddles and kisses all the time. She is very funny and has a real cheeky smile. DD2 is Miss Independent who loves to lead the way! She is very giddy and crazy. Is a constant mess, clothes covered, hair sticking every where....

I may have days where I 'like' one more than the other, e.g. the less whingy/moany/naughty one but I def dont have a favourite!!!

 

[Seity]

I have a favorite.

 

[MrsHedgehog]

I only have one so far so can't really comment. I imagine I'll love all my children equally but will maybe have more in common with one or the other. Just like it is with my sisters. I love them both so much but I'm closer and get on better with my younger sister. She's not my favourite we just have more similar personalities.

 

[Sour_Skittle]

I have 2 and one on the way.

I can not say I have a favorite. We just bond In Different ways.

My two are complete opposites, night and day.

My first is very girly, clingy, and lovey dovey.
My second is extremely independent, active, and only gives kisses when she feels like it. Lol

I bond more with my first clingy one because well.. She never leaves my side. Lol

BUT with that being said... My first is the one that drives me completely nuts. I could pull my hair out most days. Using the bathroom in peace hasn't happened since she was born. Alone time? I've forgotten what that is.

I do not love one more than the other. I love my miss independent to bits and beg for her attention like my first negs for my 24/7 attention lol.

I love them both but in different ways. But I could NEVER choose one over the other. Just writing this post makes me wants to squeeze them exceptionally hard right now. Love love love them! I always wonder how can I share the love? Surprisingly I was able to with two... Hoping I can do the same with 3. We always worry about the what ifs. But things have a way of working out when we think they can't.

 

[AnneD]

My parents had a favourite, my brother. In fact, the entire extended family favoured him because he was the only boy in the family for 25 years. It wasn't nice for me, my sister or my cousins at the time. I don't really care now, but I promised myself I would never have favourites if I havemore than one child.

 

[impatient1]

I don't have a favorite, sometimes one is easier than the other but I love them equally.

 

[RachA]

I've had times when I've preferred one over the other but not because they were my favourite or I loved them more. DD was an easy baby and at the time she was a baby DS was a nightmare so I preferred being with DD. Now however DS is easy and DD is a nightmare so I prefer being with DS.
But I still love them both hugely, I can't imagine life without either of them and I couldn't pick one if I had to choose to save the life of just one of them.

Personally I'd say that woman was an exception rather than the rule.

 

[special_kala]

https://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/4e/51/06/4e5106ed2f97c6a1db0a1631361b4057.jpg

 

[Septie]

My mother has always loved my brother more - and told me so frequently even when young. It was horrible - still is. I am soooo relieved that I love both of mine equally. It would have been devastating to me to feel more love for one than the other, because of what I have experienced as a child.

 

[lau86]

I was talking to the nurse at our surgery while getting ds2 his jabs, she asked if I was going to have any more and I said maybe. She said well make sure it's not a girl, girls are evil! We often talk about her kids when I go up there and its clear she favours her son

 

[lhancock90]

I don't have a favorite. I love them both the same.

However, i understand Ivy more, she is much more like me, she is closer to me and for that reason i suppose i found my bond with Ivy easier? However i love Evelyn exaclty the same, i just accept that i don't understand her as well because shes much more like her Dad and also much closer to him, i still love her the same and we have an amazing bond, i suppose its just slightly different to the one i share with Ivy? Evelyn doesn't seem fussed though because she has such a close bond with her Dad?
Its tough to explain.

Edit: Like Sunday i was away for the night, Ivy was heartbroken, Evelyn was fine, she was happy to see my the next day and said she missed me but was okay on the night without me? If i'd of been gone any longer she'd of hated it but she can cope being away from me for a bit, whereas Ivy gets very upset. Also i worried about Evelyn and missed her but i was much more worried about how Ivy was coping?

Edit 2: I can't explain it and i sound like a right bitch, but basically i love them the same, but understand them differently.