my 16yo sister pregnant gossip :|

Wowsers, my friend's sis got preggo at 16. She was absolutely disgusted and kept getting upset for her sis cos she thought her sis had ruined her life. Now my friend is completely in love with her niece and wouldn't have it any other way! Both mum and little girl are doing fabulously and mum works at the nursery that her little girl attends. It isn't always doom and gloom!


i have no doubt that once this maybe baby is born i will be head overheels, it's just the thought of her being preg so young with no desire to do anything to better herself and what she is potentially missing out on, and worrying about what she'll do/where she'll live/how she'll afford things :(

xXx

Sometimes things like this motivate people to change and get more from life. Encourage her to do the same - she CAN build a great life for herself and her baby if she wants. (Thats if the rumours are true!)

We only know what we read on here, so if you are worried, then she probably definately needs support from someone. If you don't think your mum can help then maybe she has a social worker you can contact?

:hugs: to you, this isn't an easy situation to be in. We all want the best for the people we love.

oh good god. never again! ifyou read up iposted about her about to move in with us until i spoke to a connextions advisor about her (she was oding, seemed really depressed, never went out, had no friends and had something else going on in her life that was a huge concern) as i was scared, really scared and when a social worker came out to the house she refused to talk to them and had a proper go atme, same as mum did. think mum was only bothered as house is a complete mess and she has 6kids living in a 3bed house so think she was worried that socialservices would wisk all the kids away.kwim? she wasn't bothered about sisters problems on their own though.

i do want the best for her that's why i offeredfor her to live with us, so she could have support and help with school including getting to school (itwas still then a possibility of staying in/at education), so somebody could give her some attention and show an interest. so that she could have some kind of quiet stable home to live in, don't get much peace or space with 5other kids in a 3bed house as you can imagine!lol

xXx
 
Wowsers, my friend's sis got preggo at 16. She was absolutely disgusted and kept getting upset for her sis cos she thought her sis had ruined her life. Now my friend is completely in love with her niece and wouldn't have it any other way! Both mum and little girl are doing fabulously and mum works at the nursery that her little girl attends. It isn't always doom and gloom!


i have no doubt that once this maybe baby is born i will be head overheels, it's just the thought of her being preg so young with no desire to do anything to better herself and what she is potentially missing out on, and worrying about what she'll do/where she'll live/how she'll afford things :(

xXx

Sometimes things like this motivate people to change and get more from life. Encourage her to do the same - she CAN build a great life for herself and her baby if she wants. (Thats if the rumours are true!)

We only know what we read on here, so if you are worried, then she probably definately needs support from someone. If you don't think your mum can help then maybe she has a social worker you can contact?

:hugs: to you, this isn't an easy situation to be in. We all want the best for the people we love.

oh good god. never again! ifyou read up iposted about her about to move in with us until i spoke to a connextions advisor about her (she was oding, seemed really depressed, never went out, had no friends and had something else going on in her life that was a huge concern) as i was scared, really scared and when a social worker came out to the house she refused to talk to them and had a proper go atme, same as mum did. think mum was only bothered as house is a complete mess and she has 6kids living in a 3bed house so think she was worried that socialservices would wisk all the kids away.kwim? she wasn't bothered about sisters problems on their own though.

i do want the best for her that's why i offeredfor her to live with us, so she could have support and help with school including getting to school, so somebody could give her some attention and show an interest. so that she could have some kind of quiet stable home to live in, don't get much peace or space with 5other kids in a 3bed house as you can imagine!lol

xXx

Oops - I did read that...just thought she might have a social worker too...thinking about that now- if she did, you'd have spoken to THAT social worker last time - sorry!!

Just an after thought...has she been 16 for a long time (I mean - she couldn't have concieved the baby when she was 15 could she?)

I don't know what to say now, sorry. Maybe you just need to get to the bottom of it and check it is true before you think about anything else?
 
Wowsers, my friend's sis got preggo at 16. She was absolutely disgusted and kept getting upset for her sis cos she thought her sis had ruined her life. Now my friend is completely in love with her niece and wouldn't have it any other way! Both mum and little girl are doing fabulously and mum works at the nursery that her little girl attends. It isn't always doom and gloom!


i have no doubt that once this maybe baby is born i will be head overheels, it's just the thought of her being preg so young with no desire to do anything to better herself and what she is potentially missing out on, and worrying about what she'll do/where she'll live/how she'll afford things :(

xXx

Sometimes things like this motivate people to change and get more from life. Encourage her to do the same - she CAN build a great life for herself and her baby if she wants. (Thats if the rumours are true!)

We only know what we read on here, so if you are worried, then she probably definately needs support from someone. If you don't think your mum can help then maybe she has a social worker you can contact?

:hugs: to you, this isn't an easy situation to be in. We all want the best for the people we love.

oh good god. never again! ifyou read up iposted about her about to move in with us until i spoke to a connextions advisor about her (she was oding, seemed really depressed, never went out, had no friends and had something else going on in her life that was a huge concern) as i was scared, really scared and when a social worker came out to the house she refused to talk to them and had a proper go atme, same as mum did. think mum was only bothered as house is a complete mess and she has 6kids living in a 3bed house so think she was worried that socialservices would wisk all the kids away.kwim? she wasn't bothered about sisters problems on their own though.

i do want the best for her that's why i offeredfor her to live with us, so she could have support and help with school including getting to school, so somebody could give her some attention and show an interest. so that she could have some kind of quiet stable home to live in, don't get much peace or space with 5other kids in a 3bed house as you can imagine!lol

xXx

Oops - I did read that...just thought she might have a social worker too...thinking about that now- if she did, you'd have spoken to THAT social worker last time - sorry!!

Just an after thought...has she been 16 for a long time (I mean - she couldn't have concieved the baby when she was 15 could she?)

I don't know what to say now, sorry. Maybe you just need to get to the bottom of it and check it is true before you think about anything else?

think i'll just sit here and drive myself crazy with worry :lol: sounds like a plan!

that's the odd thing you know, they were never assigned a social worker/case worker... they came round she wouldn't talk they left it at that, that was it. no followup no nothing. which was surprising. i spoke to the connextions advisor as i didn't know who else to get some support for her off. it's not nice hearing your sister saying she wants to hang herself or hearing your mum tell you your sister took tablets :\

she turned 16 in march. so she's a young 16.

*fingers crossed* it is just some wrong gossip.

xXx
 
Why haven't you actually asked your sister? If I were in her position and found out the entire family had been talking about me behind my back I'd be very upset and feel very unsupported.

Mistakes happen, family should be there to support you when those mistakes do happen. I know 16 is shocking, and my sister is only a few years older but if she were pregnant my first reaction would be to help and protect her.

Its hard to watch people you love in trtouble. :hugs:
 
If she conceived at the age of 15 - it is most likely that as soon as she registers her preganancy with a doc or anyone like that - she will most probs have to be assigned a social worker (whether she likes it or not) because there will be legal issues.

Oh dear - you got mummy worries already and your own LO is still safe inside your tum!

XX
 
I had Jake at 14 ...ok not planned but i did in noway ruin my life !! she will be scared and looking for support from you please be there for her she will need you
 
Why haven't you actually asked your sister? If I were in her position and found out the entire family had been talking about me behind my back I'd be very upset and feel very unsupported.

Mistakes happen, family should be there to support you when those mistakes do happen. I know 16 is shocking, and my sister is only a few years older but if she were pregnant my first reaction would be to help and protect her.

Its hard to watch people you love in trtouble. :hugs:

i'm not going to ask her as i havebeen told not to say anything to her, it's none of my business really what's going on i'm just worried/concerned/scared for her.i think people much prefer to announce their preg themselves than have people ask kwim? although must say i am shocked at uncles gf being told and not me as mum thinks uncles gf is nosey (so keepsher mouth shut about alot of things) and usually texts me with updates, even though we don't have much to do with each other kwim? especially as i told mum literally as soon as i found out i was preg and askedher not to tell anybody but she went and told my sister, very surprised. sure if she is preg then they will have had their reasons for saying/not saying anything.

our family isn't very big, nobody else knows appart from people mentioned. nobody talks/sees/likes eachother :lol: my granparents don't speak to my mum/other (grand)kids much tbh, just keep out of things, don't get involved (SP?)...long story. so when uncles gf comes up she has a good gossip ol' to my nan, that's only way my nan knows anything. drives me batty when they both start their gossiping/sniping/bitching away... they had been gossiping about me for months before i even announced i was preg.

xXx
 
I'm 15. Its not ''ruined'' my life, He's going to be the best thing thats ever happened to me. You just need to be there for her
 
If she conceived at the age of 15 - it is most likely that as soon as she registers her preganancy with a doc or anyone like that - she will most probs have to be assigned a social worker (whether she likes it or not) because there will be legal issues.

Oh dear - you got mummy worries already and your own LO is still safe inside your tum!

XX

really? i didn't know that.as horrible as i'm probally going to sound i don't think that would be such a bad idea, i think the whole family would bennefit from some help/support :) tbh though who of us wouldn't bennefit from some extra support every now and again?!


my mr.man always tells me off for worrying :lol: i worry about evrything and anything... even when the problem isn't a problem i'll worry it up to a problem :lol:
thankyou for your opinions, you have been a fabhelp!

xXx
 
I'm 15. Its not ''ruined'' my life, He's going to be the best thing thats ever happened to me. You just need to be there for her

the being pregnant part isn't too bad, it's the part when the baby's born that reality sinks in and hits you! lol!!

xXx
 
I'm 15. Its not ''ruined'' my life, He's going to be the best thing thats ever happened to me. You just need to be there for her

the being pregnant part isn't too bad, it's the part when the baby's born that reality sinks in and hits you! lol!!

xXx

Yes I know, but i have 2 friends with children, and they are the best things ever to happen to them, they cope great, and are both actually now living in the states (One in LA, one in W.D.C) One of them has 2 children, and has recently turned 17, the other has a little girl, and is planning her second with her ''husband'' (got married yesterday infact :D) and shes 18. They are both building a great life for themselves, and prove it is possible when your a young mother. I plan to also move to the states when I have finished my degree in University, to pursue my career as a photographer. And I believe that when I do so, I will be able to Build my son a much better life over there.... Your sister will be fine, if she has the support she needs. If i didnt have the support (mainly from the friends I talked about above) I wouldn't be feeling as confident, happy and inpired that my life with him is going to be great!!!!!
 
I think maybe you should ask her soon, cause what if she is so terrified to say anything to the people that love her and care for her and she ends up saying something to the wrong person.

Who then gives her bad advice on how to deal with things and what to do!!!!
I would be worried as a big sister that they told her what to do rather than give her good advice and support.

hope things work out
 
I think you are going to have to talk to her about this and find out one way or the other if its true.

We all have different hopes and dreams and we don't all agree on them. Im 24 and my mum hit the roof when I said I was pregnant even though I have been with my bf 5 1/2 years, I think she was being completely irrational and a real cow tbh but I don't hate her (even though there have been some serious issues going on) I understand that this isn't what she wanted for me. She wanted me to be married, live in a mansion and be in my 30's in an ideal world but its my life not hers.

I do understand where you are coming from though as If I have a daughter and she gets pregnant at 16 I would be devastated. I have done so much in the last 8 years, I couldn't imagine being 24 now with an 8 year old.

The only thing you can do is support whatever decision she makes.
 
I think that right now more than your criticism she needs your support. People make mistakes and don't usually learn from other people's as you said you know from experience. She is young and made a mistake that is going to affect the rest of her life, but it could be in a good way. Just because she is having a baby doesn't mean that she still can't get a job or go back to school like you had hoped for her. This is a time when she needs you more than ever. Whether you say it to her you are still sending off vibes to her and she probably doesn't feel comfortable going to you about the situation. She needs to have support and know what she should do right now, like see a doctor get on prenatal vitamins, stop drinking and partying. You went through it before so you should be great at helping her figure out a plan and get through this. She needs to know that maybe you are a little dissapointed but you still love her and support her.
There is actually a case right now around where I live that a newborn was left abondoned in a snowbank for months, it could very well have been a young mother that was too afraid to tell her family for fear of how they would react. I think that as why we need to make sure that teenagers know that its not the best choice to have children at a young age but that they know that there are options out there for them and places where they can turn to for help as well as their families. They need to know that if they make the decision to keep their child that society wont look down on them. It starts at home for most people, some people think that if they can't turn to their friends or family who else do they have, or how will everyone react. We need to stop looking down at young mothers and respect them more for what they have done (not all of them are great, just the same as adults), but many are amazing mothers when it comes down to it. I know that I look llike I'm very young and am sure I'm gonna get a few looks for people thinking I am a pregnant teenager and I don't think that is acceptable, it shouldn't matter what age I am (or look, as I am 22 and look 16) when it comes down to it just how I parent my child.
 

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