My Baby boy....now in heaven xx

Discussion in 'Miscarriage Support' started by JenJosh, Aug 25, 2009.

  1. JenJosh

    JenJosh Well-Known Member

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    Hi everyone,

    Hope this is not too long for everyone.

    I have posted a few threads on bnb, but feel i am ready to post one about my beautiful baby boy who is now in heaven. I had my darling son Cameron in November 2007, he was our second child (my other son is now 6) everything was perfect our life was complete until that horrific day in March this year. We had spent the day shopping and returned home at 5ish, and just as i was making dinner my eldest son came running thru to the kitchen with his brother playing chase - i will never forget the giggles and fun they were having, then as i came into the living room i saw Cameron trip over and bump the back of his head - he cried and naturally i went over to pick him up and comfort him, after a few seconds he just stopped crying and i realised to my horror he was unconscious, things from there on became what i can only describe as hysterical.

    My DH phoned an ambulance which arrived in minutes as i was doing CPR on my baby son - meanwhile my other son was screaming trying to understand what had happened. We were rushed thru to the local hospital where it was discovered the little one had an internal head bleed, so he was rushed to the nearest sick kids hospital, all this took hours but passed in a blur.

    On arriving at the kids hosp my darling was in surgery for 4 hours where they removed part of his skull to relieve the pressure on his brain and much to all the specialists surprise my little fighter kept fighting, i have never prayed so much in my entire life - begging god to make him ok and to make me suffer instead. He fought and fought on life support for another 20 hours when finally his consultant dealt the blow i will never get over, his brain pressure was increasing rapidly and had we thought about getting him baptised - which we chose to do, then we had to make a decision whether to let him suffer or let him go, we looked at him and without too many details he looked like he had fought enough, so we made the hardest decision we will ever ever need to make - we decided to let him go.

    Once they took all the machines away - our darling little sweetheart only took a few little breaths and grew his wings, i will never forget him lying between my husband and i as he took those last breaths.

    All this from a simple fall - that is the part i could not understand until we learned that it was a tragic accident and the odds were one mm either way he probably would have got up and walked away, that makes it harder to accept.

    Sorry if i have gone on for too long just felt ready to share my story - and the way i like to think is my baby was needed somewhere special and i miss him more every day but love him more every second.

    xxx
     
  2. Liz2

    Liz2 Well-Known Member

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    JenJosh, I am so sorry to hear about you loss and can't even begin to imagine what you are going through. I am glad you have decided to share your story. This is a wonderful place for understanding, support and love. My thoughts are with you and your family in hopes that your hearts will make it through. :Hug:
     
  3. JenJosh

    JenJosh Well-Known Member

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    Thanks Liz xx:hugs:
     
  4. lisa_33

    lisa_33 Well-Known Member

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    i am so sorry for the loss of your little boy, i know its the most un imaginable pain ever xxx
     
  5. sophie c

    sophie c 2 gorgeous daughters <3

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    soo soo sorry for your loss hun

    xxx
     
  6. Jem

    Jem Mummy of 2

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    I am so so sorry for your loss. Life can be so cruel at times, my heart goes out to you all xxx
     
  7. Beautywithin

    Beautywithin Mummy of two

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    Reading this made me cry! your a brave lady. for sharing your story.. your lil man sounds like he was a real fighter.. and im sure he is guiding you all from the clouds

    stay strong and forever cherish the memories you created together

    xx
     
  8. embo216

    embo216 Mummy to 3 <3

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    I'm so sorry for your loss. :hugs: xx
     
  9. DiddyDons

    DiddyDons Guest

    :cry::cry: I am so very very sorry. My heart breaks for you.
    If you ever need to talk then Im here for you hunni. Just send me a msg. x x x
     
  10. Eternal

    Eternal Three boys!

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    I am so so sorry for your loss, you are so brave and your little angel is looking down on you, being very proud of his wonderful mummy!
     
  11. wishingonastar

    wishingonastar Well-Known Member

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    what a terrible tragedy, i'm so sorry x
     
  12. butrfly

    butrfly Mom to Sweet Elijah

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    i can feel your love for your son. may he rest in peace & you find comfort in the memories he left behind.
     
  13. Sparklestar

    Sparklestar Mommy to Keigan

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    This has made me cry :cry: you are so very brave and cherish those memories :hugs: xxxx
     
  14. trying4#1

    trying4#1 Well-Known Member

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    jenjosh - my heart goes out to you and your family...i lost my baby at 22 weeks of pg. that was torturous. i cannot for one moment imagine how you must feel. i wish god would not put us through this kind of torture when it comes to losing a baby. i donnt know what to say, cos i know that there is nothing that can change what has happened and give us what we want. i really wish there was though.
     
  15. cazhd

    cazhd LTTTC

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    JenJosh i am so so sorry for your loss, your story made me :cry:, my heart goes out to you and your family :hugs:
     
  16. Frankie

    Frankie Well-Known Member

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    So sorry for your loss xxx
     
  17. ThatGirl

    ThatGirl Proud mummy to alfie

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    so sorry sweetie x
     
  18. Naya69

    Naya69 Well-Known Member

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    oh jen what a horrible tragic accident to happen to you and how scary that it could happen to anyone. i can not begin to imagin the pain you have been through to make such a descion as brave as the one you did my heart goes out to you and your family and thank you for sharing your story god bless your little one xxx
     
  19. Samemka

    Samemka Mummy of 2 girlies

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    I am so terribly sorry for your loss (((hugs))) x x
     
  20. mrscookie

    mrscookie Mama and expecting

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    I am so so so sorry :(
    If you ever need to talk I am here. I witnessed my 3 year old nephew die on life support, I know it will never compare to a mother's loss, but it devestated my whole world and I am here if you want to talk to me.
    xxxxxxxxxxx
     

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