My boss is an a**hole!

[loola]

So, I told him pretty soon as we're a small company and we had a company party , for me not to drink would have been alien to him.

I'd said that I'd go back after 4 months part time - more as a gesture of goodwill and because I have worked with him for the last 4 years, so I have ultimate respect for him.

He didn't say too much at the start and then asked him I'd meet him in a local cafe for an 'off the record chat'. At this delightful 'chat', he told me that at 4 months, I coudn't come back to my job as it wasn't a part time role and that he needed to think ' what he could do with me' - I'm sure thats against Mat Leave law. I left the 'chat' pretty pi***d off. I couldn't believe that I'd worked for this man for 4 years, gone well out of my way for him and the company on uncountable occasions and he was treating me like this.

I let it be and carried on without a murmur. Ever since, he has spoken to me like I am abolsute s**t, he snaps at me for no reason and yes I'm emotional, but many times I have gotten off the phone to him and just sat at my desk and cried. He's vile, he shouts and then blames me for being emotional and pregnant. He even said jokingly ' theres no point in inviting you to the christmas party, you'll be fat, moaning that you're too hot and it's too loud and be boring. When people say things in a jokey manner 9/10 they bloody well mean it!

He was in the office yesterday and was talking to everyone normally if not over kindly, when I spoke with him, he practically barked at me on EVERY occasion. To the point of other collegues catching my eye and frowning as if to say 'wtf?!'.

I hate coming to work. It's so sad, as I have built myself here and never thought I would despise the place, but I do. I cry driving to work every day, I cant wait to leave at 5pm. If I didn't need the money , I would happily walk away from the place right now.

I have made the decision that today, I am going to email both MD's and inform them that I will be taking 10 months mat leave ( I will be financially better off on stat mat pay instead of the 2 days a week wage until the last unpaid month), I am going to see if things change. But I know it's not healthy for me let alone squidge to be this unhappy.

Sorry for the long rant. Am i just being an emotional mess or is he being plain mean?

 

[Button#]

Do you have a HR person you could talk to? I think he is behaving out of line. My boss would pick on the pregnant ladies (5 of us were pregnant during the course of my pregnancy) but we knew he was joking as he told us how happy he was for us and our actual work wasn't treated any differently. It's not right for you to be subjected to this and like you said it will cause you extra stress.

 

[loola]

We don't because its only a small place, its more a go direct to your manager affair, unfortunately, I office manage both of our offices , so my line manager is him and the other MD.

It's a bit of a pickle.

I think I'm going to send this email and then see how I get on, and if it continues , take it up with the other MD - who is a majority owner.

I dont think I have any other options

 

[Button#]

I think that would be the best thing to do.

 

[Teri7489]

I would do as ypu plan, maybe consider finding a new job and having your 10 months off. It's not right what he's doing, and it's illegal. I was in a terrible position when I fell pregnant. I was the third nurse in our home to announce in a two week period, and our managers daughter sadly had a miscarriage at that time. I was treated like a piece of rubbish, put on nightshift for the last six weeks, kept late in work every day, warnings and disciplinary for no reason. All so much that I went on mat leave 6 weeks early. When I returned to work I was livid as I could have had those 6 weeks with my daughter. I want to say 'don't let thig guy win' in terms of risking your mat pay or leave, but I know how hard it is. I hope you can speak to someone to sort this put, I really do! Xxx

 

[loola]

I did it and he came back pretty quick with ' we need to discuss this'.

What is there to discuss?

If I leave when I'm due, am I still entitlted to stat mat pay in the UK.

I'm new to all of this.

 

[dollyemi]

Oh dear, he sounds awful. It's bullying no doubt about it. I would check the acas website and see what your employer should be doing to support you in pregnancy. He's obviously trying to upset you so you leave and he won't have to pay your mat leave. Take some advice, don't let him win. Remember at this early stage there is no obligation for you to tell him what your intentions are, only that you are pregnant and need to be risk assessed so that they are looking after you properly. Small business owners have to follow the rules, just like the big ones. I would also write down comments, dates, times, witnesses etc in the event you take it further.

 

[dollyemi]

I did it and he came back pretty quick with ' we need to discuss this'.

What is there to discuss?

If I leave when I'm due, am I still entitlted to stat mat pay in the UK.

I'm new to all of this.

Ok, definitely call acas. Tel 0300 123 1100. Reply to his email and state you are going to seek advice before you have any further discussion. Hopefully he'll choke on his coffee when he reads that!

Here's the relevant page from the acas website
https://m.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=1753

 

[Button#]

I would stay with your current job if you can stand it until you're near the end of your maternity leave as you need to have worked with your employer for a certain amount of time to qualify for maternity pay. Otherwise you'd get maternity allowance and that will be a bit less I think. Legally they have to keep your job open for a year. I didn't go back after maternity but I handed in my notice at the end of maternity leave so I got paid for holiday entitlement accrued during maternity leave as well.

 

[loola]

I spoke with ACAS, as you've all said, they cannot refuse me to go back to my previous post early.

Within the first 6 months of mat leave, I have the right to return to my previous role.

I will see how this pans out when we 'discuss'.

I must rememeber to stay calm, this is not the be all and end all, keeping squidge comfy and happy is.

Thanks for all the advice xx

 

[MollyNorwood]

I don't have any advice I just wanted to say good luck with your discussions with your boss, I hope you can get out of it what you originally wanted and he apologizes for being such a douche bag. This is the last thing you need when you are pregnant

 

[mwah_xx]

As far as my understanding went they have to give you back your current job or equivalent position. I used to work for a big corporate in the uk and i looked into everything - and that was in their legal mat policy - part time is a different thing and a different job role so technically he is not obliged to give you part time (morally its a different matter). Sofor example when I looked at it I could go back to my old job fulltime guaranteed or they could offer me part time at the same grade anywhere in the business SUBJECT to business need.

If I were you when you go to meet and "discuss" I would stand firm on taking your full entitlement and maybe even remind him you are entitled to a full year, plus accrued holidays, plus accrued bank holidays, but I would also offer him some solutions; we can look for my mat cover to start early so I can train them, when I come back I'd rather do part time and this is how I see part time working working out.

Maybe in his head he's like crap I'm losing the best office manager ever and its not going to work part time what the hell do I do.

Not saying he is right just trying to help you work it out as you say you used to love your job.

I've not told my boss yet incidentally and we are a 2 person company.......though I don't think I have any legal standings in Dubai!!

 

[mayacat]

I would even check your government website and see why options you have in dealing with him. What he's doing and saying you can't come back is illegal in Canada and the US and there are agencies to file complaints with and you could successfully sue him for lost wages if you were fired for taking leave. I don't know about the UK but I imagine its something reasonable too.

 

[LilFooshFoosh]

I agree with mwah, inthat (from your original post) it was the part-time aspect that he didn't like- and doesn't need to agree to. Offering different solutions and trying to work with him is probably the best way to reach your desired outcome.

There is probably something in the middle that you would both find acceptable. For example, 6 months leave, 6 months part-time and then taking on your full role again. Leaves can be a logistical nightmare for management, especially if it is a small company and you are a long standing employee. Providing clear timeframes and setting expectations will go along way in making him more comfortable with the changes.

I'm not saying his behaviour is acceptable, because it isn't and you are entitled to use the full extent of leave/benefits that are available to you without being bullied.

Definitely stand up for yourself, but make sure that you keep an open mind and don't agree to anything until you have had a good chance to review your options. Plus what you want now may not be what you want in several months, or maybe you end up on bedrest nearing the end of your pregnancy. I think the overall goal is to get this guy to work with you and treat you properly. I would make sure that any further meetings were held with both MDs present.

 

[Babyd14]

I don't have any advice, but I hope your boss stops being such a d*ck and starts offering you support. Early stages of pregnancy is very stressful without adding work stuff into it (trust me I've been there in my first pregnancy) main thing is to try to stay calm and whatever happens make sure you and bubs are all good x