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My career

mathgenius33

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I feel like I'm in a bind right now. DH and I have a 5 month old daughter, born in Arizona, and while I was pregnant DH was offered a promotion in his job within the same company, but we had to move to Florida. I agreed, and although it wasn't easy we did the whole move across country with a 2 month old. We bought a house and once we finally settled in he got laid off. Within a week he landed another position with the same pay. That's fine and all, but it defeats the purpose of us moving here so he could stick with his company.

Anyway, I was willing to sacrifice my career (for a few years) so he could stick with his company, but now that it fell through and we see he can get a job anywhere, I want to explore my options in California. In my career there are a lot more opportunities in California than in Florida, although there may or may not be some in Florida.

Landing a position for me is competitive, but I think I have what it takes even if it takes a few years. It's luck of the draw, so there's no guarantee I'll get a job this year, but if I do it's a 100% secure job with no chance of ever getting laid off. A dream come true for any family, but hard to get. If I such a job to me it makes sense to accept the offer.

The problem is DH is very happy here in Florida and does not want to have to move across country again. I can't say I blame him, but I really want a job in the career I chose and spent 4 years of graduate study in mathematics for that very purpose. Now feel as if he is holding me back. I love him and my baby very much and want to spend the rest of my life with him. That's more important than any job is the bottom line.

Does it seem selfish for me to at least interview at 2 places in California just to see if I can get my dream job this year? If I get such a position it seems to me that would be the best thing for our family in the long-run, although stressful at first. I just want to do what's right for the family and am feeling trapped. It pays well enough that with both of us working we can afford any house in California, by the way.

Not to mention we have already made money off of the house we bought, so there's no loss in that either.

Any advice would be appreciated.
 
I wouldn't think it's selfish. Hubby and I did something similar. He left his job and moved to Ohio with me for my company transfer and stuck it out for two years there. He decided he wanted to join the military, so I gave up my career with that company so he could have his chance. While I miss my old company, I'm thankful for the opportunities I have now with hubby's military career, including being at home with our daughter for her first year.

Are there jobs there that he can do that are similar to the one he has now? Maybe agree to wait a year and then start looking at jobs out there so you all have time to recover and get ready for the cross-country move again?
 
I think he will have a lot of opportunities there. I talked to him again and he said he would be up to moving again if we waited another year. Maybe that could be a good compromise, and it will get him more experience with his new company.
 
Oh good! Honestly I can't blame him for not wanting to do a major move so soon again, it's definitely tough. I'm glad it sounds like he is willing to compromise though - hope it all works out for your family!
 

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