My DH is driving himself nuts?

[Lilly12]

I know my husband is really excited and happy about the baby.
BUT!!!
He's been stressing about EVERYTHING ever since we found out i'm pregnant!!
Like he'll just be stressed, while I'm not stressed at all, but him stressing also stresses me out .
He stresses about money, we pay our midwife out of pocket and we haven't even have to touch our savings yet.. we STILL save money after the $300 dollar midwife fee every time we go( every 4 weeks).
We already got a new car , a mini van, cause he was so stressed about us having a truck and no backseat, he sold the truck within a few weeks of us finding out we're expecting.

Im planning on giving breastfeeding my all, so if baby and boobs co-operate, we'll save tons of money on that.
My MIL is a thrift store junkie and she's getting us tons of clothes in all different sizes and toys and a bouncer etc etc.

We aren't poor AT ALL though.. Well I don't think so, I think poor people live from pay check to pay check every month and then don't even get by without goverment assistance.
We don't have goverment assistance, we save about an average of $500 dollar a month (right now $300 of that goes to the midwife).
We have a lil more than 10K in the bank.
We don't have any debt or credit cards either.

What's his deal?
I grew up really poor and so did he, but I feel like we're doing very very good right now?
Is saving $500 not alot or something? Cause to me it is?

Im going to be a stay at home mom, Me and my husband been married for 1,5 years and we chose for me not to work.
He works 5 mins from the house, so we see eachother alot and I help him out at work.
Hes been working for the same person (his friend) for 11 years, and hes been doing the same hours for years.
Yet hes so stressed and says he has so much responsibilities?
He never "complained" about this before I got pregnant?
Nothing has changed for him really, and nothing is going to change , hes still going to be working the same as right now and we'll do just fine.

Maybe im being inconciderate ?
I dont know...

He just texted me saying "This whole baby thing has got me second guessing myself i guess" ...

Maybe just him getting used to everything and adjusting and stuff?

HELP!

 

[babykdc]

it is almost cute because we are going through the same thing, only it's me who's experiencing what your husband is going through

i am all of a sudden worried about money (partly because i am not ready to give up my job and be dependent on my husband financially yet) so i feel like i am racing with time to start saving money i can spend freely later on my own. my husband is more prepared than i am, mentally.

i think your husband and i both need to take a chill pill

 

[Lilly12]

A chill pill would be good.. what he does is just get drunk though
Not the best way to be dealing with stress

 

[welshmummy2be]

my partner is the same...you shouldnt be walking that far, quit work etc etc lol im fed up of telling him im pregnant not terminally ill, bless him tho x x x

 

[Lilly12]

The thing is, we've been dealing with his mother alot lately, she stresses about everything and he finds her sooo annoying and obnoxious.
And now hes doing the same... i asked him why hes stressed and he always just says "just everything" he cant name one thing.

So i basically forced him to name some stuff, this is what he texted me (hes at work):
money, responsibility, babies health, work, mom n dad, our cat, our car, hurricanes.

Then he wrote "i have alot of stress on my shoulders and its constant" .

Hes going overboard though, i understand if hes nervous and scared and a little stressed, but hes taking it to another level.. just like his MOM!!!

I told him the only thing he needs to worry about is getting a heartattack because the stress is going to give him one.


Why stress about stuff thats not in your hands?
Stress will only make stuff worse!

 

[faeriedusted]

It's scary stuff becoming a being a parent for the first time, hell, I'm sure it's scary becoming a parent for the third time! It sounds as if he's just dealing with a lot of anxiety over being a daddy and it's manifesting as super stress. And although you two are financially stable at the moment, I'm sure your husband is constantly thinking about the responsibility of being the breadwinner of the family, the main monetary provider. Think about how scared he must be - he just wants to make sure he can give you and baby the best. My advice to you would be instead of picking at him for stressing out, and stressing you out, try and (subtly) reassure him as much as you can in your confidence in him. Tell him what a good daddy he's going to be, already is being, tell him how confident you are in his abilities to provide for you, tell him how happy you are to be going through this with HIM, as he's so responsible and will CERTAINLY give baby more than you and he had growing up. Believe me, men need to hear all this stuff, I tell my OH these things constantly and he eats it up. Men find it easier sometimes to focus on problems they can see and hear rather then their feelings...good luck!!

 

[ayako]

awww

To me he is just stressing because he wants to provide everything the baby will need. He wants to do his best but he doesn't know if he can.

I think he just needs a confident booster. I can see how it's stressful, but it's a little heart warming for me.. of course, I don't have to deal with it.

 

[1st time mam]

My other half is the same, I think that it is just his way of dealing with it and his way of helping my other half cant stop worring that we wont have enough stuff when the baby is here and I have to keep reminding him that all the baby will want is us happy and settled!!

 

[Lilly12]

Thanks girls.

I do tell him everyday that I'm proud of him and that he'll be a great daddy etc.
He's just insecure..
Stress just gets to him sometimes, he doesn't really know how to deal with it.

Today he's feeling alot better than yesterday though

 

[Babybear1985]

reading this post made me smile so much i think its adorable how commited he is, although like most i dont have to live with it lol...

wishing you both all the happiness and good luck xx