My experience

[Mum2threeboys]

Ok just going to jump straight in....

So seeing mums who have all girls doesn't hurt so much, and seein people oblivious to their luck with one of each - twinges - but it's not so bad.
What really kills me is seeing people who know my pain - have experience that longing with all their hearts in the same way I have that actually have their chance to look down into their son or daughters eyes that they have been longing for knowing they have achieved their dream - after all their girls or all their boys - here in this special bundle wrapped in blankets of dazzling colours they never thought they'd own feeling that immense love and pride that must be so incomparable to any other feeling (except perhaps winning the lottery as I often feel the odds must be similar for me!) now that, that makes me swell with green envy!
Not the hatred type or anything negative just the type of envy that you know they possess something you can never have!

I am genuinely convinced that i do not have the ready ingredients inside me to make a beautiful little girl. I have pretty awesome blue ones and they make fantastic little men!
But alas there is no sugar or spice or anythin nice brewing in my ovaries

This pregnancy was a surprise and now I have come to terms with the idea I am having another - a small part of me is starting to feel tha longing again.

I am 10 & a bit weeks pregnant with baby chap number 4! I know into head/heart that it's another boy. So why the bloody hell do I put myself through the stage of hoping praying day dreaming and obsessing over the pitiful chance of me having that little girl - the one that has existed in my imagination since the very first time I imagined having children. One of each was always my plan... One of life's first hard lessons I should have learnt to accept wayyy before now is tha you very very rarely get what you Want!
Thanks for listening.

Sending lots of slugs and snails and a good bunch of puppy dog tails to all those hoping for boys!!! I have a hoard of it stored in there.

 

[Misscalais]

Aww lol I don't want to give you 'hope' but it might still be a wee pink one
I'm having my 3rd boy and what you've written describes exactly how I feel! Love my boys but gosh that pink one would just be the complete package for me.
Maybe this might be your sugar and spice but if not hes going to be a beautiful little blue one to add to the family.
My mum had 3 girls then finally my little brother she was so happy! She prayed for him and got him. I said yeah well I prayed for a girl this time and god gave me another willy to deal with must have lost the memo. I'm ok with having another boy just wish just one daughter was on the cards for us.
Will you find out the gender when you can?

 

[motherofboys]

I have 4 boys and it is fantastic, but what you wrote really spoke to me because no matter how much I knew and know I will never have a girl, it doesn't stop me dreaming and torturing myself with hope. And seeing people with one gender after a few of the others makes me think they are so lucky and will appreciate what they have so much more. I also think I wanted it as much as they did, why did they get it and I didn't?

 

[Unexpected212]

I have the one boy and I'm 100% sure I'm having a boy again. Pretty sure I saw a boy nub.

Im at peace with having another boy. But I will always be jealous of those having girls.

 

[Andypanda6570]

I also have 3 boys and at 40 got pregnant with my little girl/ I lost her at 22 weeks, but I still got my girl, I am still her mommy and I will always be proud to say i have a daughter.. never give up, it just may be your chance also..XO Good Luck

 

[Mum2threeboys]

Andy panda my heart goes out to you, it truly does. You are brave and amazing woman to be able to speak openly about such a heartfelt loss is admirable.
I can't imagine how you must feel but you have my deepest sympathy for your loss

I do plan to have a gender scan at 16 weeks and ill be nub theory'ing away after my dating scan! I just know it's another chap though this time!

What will be, will be! I just can't wait for this stage to be over! It's the hope that hurts the most!

I have a lot to be thankful for but hey we can't help but hope can we!?

 

[motherofboys]

I totally agree, it's the hoping that is the worst. Once you know you can deal with it

 

[Mum2threeboys]

Well I have my dating scan on Weds! Can't help but feel that dreaded excitement that I may see a girl nub/skull etc! Knowing my luck it'll all point to girl then be a boy at 16 weeks

 

[motherofboys]

Good luck. My ds4s nub was so obviously boy. I had like 95% boy guesses. I still googled for pics of nubs that looked like boys but turned out as girls lol
What will be will be and baby already is whatever gender it's going to be. As hard as it is it's something that eventually we all have to accept. Hope you get your girl.

 

[foxiechick1]

Good luck for your dating scan am keeping fingers crossed all is ok and hope that you are carrying a pink one xxx

 

[Mum2threeboys]

Yes that's a very good way of looking at it! It's out of my hands, already decided = no amount of hope is going to change the outcome.
Work is keeping my mind off of things!
To be honest I just can't wait for this part to be over so I can just start adjusting and getting used to the fact I can only have chaps!
Having a down day today - well a down week! I seriously hate this part so many emotions but the worst is the guilt! I know I should be happy and I feel awful that I feel this disappointed already - I wish I could just really want a boy!!
I remember that joy of my first pregnancy where alls I wanted to hear was 'it's a boy!' And that feeling when they said what I wanted to hear!
I just want to feel that way again! I hate all this negativity! I want to feel happy!! I want to enjoy scans not feel anxious!!!

Sorry for ranting - I fear that needed to come out!!

 

[motherofboys]

It's ok I completely understand. Although once I knew 100% that I was having a boy I still took time I adjust, and get used to the idea of 'another boy' it was harder to not know.
And yes no matter how much you hope it won't change anything but it won't stop you hoping lol
I can't say if it ever goes away. And I know it takes everyone different lengths of time to adjust. But eventually you do bond with your baby, for some it's before birth, others it's at birth or after a while of looking after the baby.
I love my little man so much now, and wouldn't swap him, the same as I wouldn't swap any of my others who I didn't have gender desire/disappointment with.
I still want that baby girl one day. And I've got one chance left. I already know I'll get a boy, and I know I'll be ok in the end and love him. So as much as I hope I'll get a girl in the end, I've already kind of accepted that I won't.
I hope you won't have to go through the adjustment process and you will get your girl. But know whatever you feel it's ok, so many of us gave felt it, and come out the other side.

 

[Mum2threeboys]

It's today *gulps* from now until 16 weeks I'll be nub obsessing = the WORST stage!!!
Argh!!!

 

[motherofboys]

Good luck

 

[Mum2threeboys]

Well scan was wonderful! The baby looked so cosy in there and was jiggling about! Very forthcoming with measurements and I measured 12+6 weeks!
I thought id be all gender obsessed but I actually managed to enjoy the experience!
It's the last time for me so regardless of how I feel about gender I need to enjoy this! I love all my boys and when they are in my arms I wouldn't hae it any other way so what will be will be! If is another boy I'll love him just as dearly as my others!!
Now I just have to keep this attitude - no doubt I'll have lapses but I'm choosing to be positive! I have a happy healthy little baby in there... What more could I ask for!?!

 

[foxiechick1]

Glad everything is well! And what a great attic tired you've got! Pleased for you and hopefully you'll still get to hear pink at your gender scan! Good luck xx

 

[lau86]

It's a such an exciting time!! I really hope I get to do it again, regardless of whether it's a boy or girl (have 2 boys already). Congratulations on your little bean!

 

[Mum2threeboys]

This is becoming almost a diary for me!! When I feel I need to release I come here!!

So the next installment in my crazy quest for a girl is quite obviously to just delude myself that I am indeed having one!!
I posted my scan picture onto a gender specfic hopefuls forum and I got a full house of comments along the lines of 'slight girl lean but wouldn't be surprised either way' the lady on there is a professional ultrasound technician and tht quote is direct from her. Alas, not seeing a single boy lean my brain automatically switches to well it must be a girl then so my crazy bum jinxes the whole thing by purchasing a very girly newborn hat and pair of trousers (ironic really I chose trousers and not tights dresses or frilly knickers! Just a thought!) now I'm having buyers regrets.

Pah, I joke, but seriously this hurts. I try and make it seem funny and light hearted but things like that raise my hopes! I wish I never posted! It makes me feel like there is a chance - I wanted that answer so badly and yet dreaded it so badly too!! For if my slight lean girl turns into full blown boy the blow will be harder. Yet 'no gender clues in your pic at all - none whatsoever - sod off and be patient' turning into full blown boy at my gender scan would have been so much easier to handle! Or (dare I say it, 'boy lean' followed by 'it's a girl' at my gender scan would (of course) be the best scenario!

So continues my crazy story..... Hold on in there with me - just 3 weeks to wait!

Ps I've attached my nub picture for you to peruse at your leisure! Or maybe to further torture myself apparently it's the hazy top line - not the nice clear bright white one!

 

[Beneli]

I did the exact same thing as you before my 20 week scan. For the longest time I assumed boy (after having 2 boys already) so that I couldn't get hurt. Eventually I studied so many nubs and theories that I got myself believing that maybe it was a girl. It was sooooo risky, but I really saw that glimmer of hope with my nub picture. Was team yellow but had brought so much hope to myself that at the scan I suddenly blurted out that I wanted to know. Luckily for me, my nub intuition was right. Yours may be too! Do you have a pic of the entire baby? What number of weeks was that pic?

 

[motherofboys]

I think girl leans would get my hopes up. I still had hopes with almost all boy leans lmao
Good luck