My feelings are extremely hurt

[anagee]

I feel like DH is not sympathetic to my situation. I have PCOS and I know I am the main reason we have not been able to have kids. I always feel horrible for being the cause he is not a *biological* father, as he has raised my daughter as his.

Anyways this cycle I took clomid 50 mg and I'm currently waiting for AF, that should have shown up today, and nothing.

He scolded me for taking a bunch of pregnancy tests all this week and obsessing and getting sad for not getting pregnant.

I hate he does not put himself in my shoes.

 

[Beeptime]

Aww so sorry he's not able to see it from you're point of view. My husband can't either, We've never gotten pregnant in 4 years and I feel totally responsible. I feel that I'VE got the effed up body that can't make it happen. He's at least nice about it, but doesn't understand what this does to our psyche!

 

[Dill]

It may not be that he doesn't sympathize. Men process these feelings a little differently than women do. He may feel as disappointed as you do, but his scolding is an attempt to try to help keep you from getting your hopes up/obsessing/experiencing such a letdown in the future. It's hard for them to see us suffering.

 

[Dreamermama]

Ugh, men are just generally terrible at any kind of empathy. They see things very logically and don't understand that sometimes we just need them to shut up, listen and give us a hug when we are feeling sad or frustrated.

 

[doctorsookie]

It may not be that he doesn't sympathize. Men process these feelings a little differently than women do. He may feel as disappointed as you do, but his scolding is an attempt to try to help keep you from getting your hopes up/obsessing/experiencing such a letdown in the future. It's hard for them to see us suffering.

I agree. I think in his own male way, he was trying to tell you its not your fault and you shouldn't stress yourself or blame yourself. Its a beautiful thing that he has raised your daughter with you and I am sure he is not as affected by not being her biological father as you are. My fiance has been the only father figure in my children's lives and they were 14 and 8 when Kevin and I met. I've always wanted another baby and I was just waiting for him to be prepared too. He's finally decided that we will never be in a "perfect" position and realized I am not getting younger so we started trying in January.

Try not to stress because that won't help you conceive. FX for you and try and cut him a little slack. He is a man after all...LOL

 

[anagee]

I know he didn't completely mean to put me down the way he did but I wish this excuse of "I'm a man" or "He is a man" would finish... It takes a toll on me because I am so involved in TTC and he is more relaxed about it. He does not understand what ttc does to my head, the pressure, and the bfn. Also seeing everyone around me pregnant or getting pregnant. Anyways thank you ladies for taking time to comment on my rant.

 

[Dill]

I understand how frustrating it is! It was very hard for me seeing so many of my friends announcing their pregnancies after each of my miscarriages. There's always been more pressure on the woman when it comes to TTC. Just try to be patient with him. It doesn't help you, him, or your relationship if you let TTC put a strain on your marriage. You want this to bring you closer, not drive you apart.

Fingers are crossed that you get your BFP soon!

 

[anagee]

Dill, I'm sorry about your losses hun

It's annoying how my other in law is happy about other people's pregnancies but told me she did not want a grandchild from me and she hoped I was not pregnant.

It's so much pressure cuz me and DH really want another child. I just hope the time comes when I can be a mommy again.

 

[Dill]

Wow, that was really out of line for her to say something like that!