my friend is sleeping with a married man with kids :(

Naya69

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my best friend recently broke up with oh in january and got with some guy which turned out to be a bad idea as her baby's dad went mad and started being an arsehole when it came to their little boy which is wrong of him to do but then she discovered her new fella was sending seductive texts to other girls so she dumped him a few weeks ago and within days she was sleeping with his mate all was fine untill she dropped the bombshell that he was marrided with 2 small kiddies!!!! :growlmad:

i was furious and told her thats wrong shes gonna rip that family apart and might even damage the relationship between the kids and dad but she said that would never happen he loves his kids too much.

he works away from home and its a 4 hour drive to get home so it wouldnt be the simplest of things if he did break up with his wife for her to just run back and see his kids but i get the feeling he will never leave his wife for my friend but shes getting very attached to him.

i was round at hers last night and they was all over eachother as hes been staying there while his wife stays at home looking after HIS kids i really had to bite my tongue and that was hard as i find this is disgusting!!! :growlmad:

my other best mate the other year started sleeping with a marrided man who also had a kid who was also her next door neighbour and because of that he doesnt see his kid no more its just dissgraceful i wouldnt dream of doing this but i just dont know how to word things to my friend to make her see sense that its a worthless relationship that will never go anywhere. :nope:

she also believes him when he says he doesnt love his wife no more and they dont sleep with one another no more i just cant see this happening because his wife is very possesive of him :shrug:

please help girls what can i do and say to make her stop god forbid its someones husband on here :cry:
 
At the end of the day, it's her decision to make. No matter how badly she is doing at it! To be honest I just wouldn't get involved.
 
It's so difficult but she probably won't listen to you :nope: If she asks you directly what you think then be honest. I hope she sees sense soon! xx
 
Unfortunately it's unlikely anything you say will stop her. She'll have to learn the hard way
 
if hes not doing it with ur friend hun he will find somebody else to do it with x
 
:( thats bad. I personally could never go with a man who had kids and a partner! It will get solved in the end hun just step back x
 
this could just be me but i'd have no qualms in saying something to HIM! i.e. "spoke to your wife and kids today?"
 
i know the best thing to do is step back but it just infuriates me when i know their together or when she speaks about him like his "her" man its like hes starting a double life down here with her while his poor wife is left at home looking after their kids poor women i just hope this ends soon or the wife finds out shes already had a go at him about her because she knows his password for facebook and snoops on there and was looking at her profile and noticed they had gone clubbing together :nope:
 
Your friend is settling and selling herself short. She should know that she deserves better than this.

I mean what does this say about the guy she is dating, If he is willing to do this to his wife, what makes her think he wont turn around and do the same thing to her. Also karma is a bitch, what goes around comes around. This relationship is on a dead end street to nowhere.

This guy is playing her and he is getting his cake and eating it too!!! And lets face it 99% of the time these guys dont leave their wives!!!! :nope:

I doubt that this is the first time that this guy has cheated, which explains why the wife is so paranoid, she knows she is married to a pig!!!!
 
I'd avoid her if it's making you feel this agitated and uncomfortable. And I wouldnt blame you for doing so. Asking you to be accepting of this relationship is sort of asking you to be part of the deception, in a way.
And the advice I would give is the same as above: karma is a bitch. And so is women's intuition. His wife may know more than she thinks.
 
people like that make me sick.

how would she like it if she were at home with two kids and her husband was out doing that.

tbh id question my friendship with this girl as she obviosly isnt a very nice person
 
It's very wrong, but to be honest if i was you i would keep well away! x
 
I dunno how people do it :( I was seeing a bloke a few weeks ago, he seemed to be really interested and was round my place from about 10am everyday,went home for dinner then came back an hour later and stayed till the early hours... every single day. dont know how he managed it but, but found out he actually lived with a fiance and his young child, while also having 3 more children by 2 different ex's, and had another woman up the road who is due to have his baby in October!

Obviously as soon as I realised I told him where to go immediately!! Not only is it not fair on his partner and especially his LO, but I certainnly amnot lowering myself to be treated like that!

hope she see's sense soon, if not for the right reasons.. the longer it goes on, the more hurt she'll be :(
 
I'd avoid her if it's making you feel this agitated and uncomfortable. And I wouldnt blame you for doing so. Asking you to be accepting of this relationship is sort of asking you to be part of the deception, in a way.
And the advice I would give is the same as above: karma is a bitch. And so is women's intuition. His wife may know more than she thinks.

i agree and that is wrong of her to ask that from u! i could not do it i would have such a hard time biting my tongue!!! i would refuse going around her when HE's there and tell her (as calmly and respectful)to not talk about him to/with me i dont wanna hear his awful low down dirty name!:growlmad: nothing u can say to her will change her mind or make her leave that scrum bag dog! wait hes not even a dog! dogs have loyalty! hes just a heffer!
 
Your mate is just setting herself up for a fall. And a big fall at that!! But nothing you say or do will make her see sense so I have to agree with most the other girls and would stear well clear!!
This guy is the scum bag. It's one thing to be lying to his wife (wich is bad enough) but to lie to your mate by saying he doesnt even love or sleep with his wife anymore is utterly pointless!! If he didnt love her, he would have left her to lead a single life. Simple!!

Just be there for your friend when it all goes wrong. Wich it will, coz "relationships" with people like this always do go wrong eventually :hugs:
 
Like already mentioned, she's worth more than a fumble with a married man. What percentage of married men actually leave their wives for a mistress? Very few. If she's happy with that, then why doesn't she just end it now, because what's the point in starting a relationship that has no chance of advancing? And if he is going to leave his wife for her, then why would she want to be with a man that's happy to tear apart his family like that, instead of being honest with his wife and just saying he's not happy?

Honestly though, there's very little you can do. It's like telling a besotted teenager that it's not love she's feeling;it's lust. Your friend is never going ot listen to you, and will just look at you as trying to stamp on her happiness. I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut if I saw them together, and if she spoke about him I would probably go off on one then too. I would probably end up banning his name from our conversations, because I wouldn't be able to sit there and know what's going on.

And the betrayal against his wife is one thing; but his kids? I know what it's like to have your family torn apart as a result of a parents' affair, and it's not a nice feeling. For the rest of their lives they will wonder what he was thinking, how petty he was and all the what ifs.
 
Personally they're both as bad as each other. If she knows the situation and she's not bothered by it then she's just as bad as him. Sorry, sounds harsh being your friend and you care for her but she knows the score.

IMO i would have said something to her but thats just me. My best friend did something similar and I totally wasnt happy about it - were still the best of friends but I just asked her to keep me out of it by all means of knowledge etc and eventually it fizzled out.

You know its wrong and thats all that matters i'm afraid. They probably wont stop because you know its not right. Im afraid its sit back and let them BOTH learn the hard way.
 
Personally they're both as bad as each other. If she knows the situation and she's not bothered by it then she's just as bad as him.

I do think the man is worse in this situation, as a married person you stand up and make a promise to be faithful to your partner, you commit to them and if you cheat then you are the person breaking their heart. The person you cheat with is just someone who enables you to do this.

Its not a great idea to be going out with someone who is married and its likely to all end in tears but as a single person you are free to be with who you choose.

I can see this from both perspectives, I went out with a married man as a teenage (and regret it) and I am now married myself. I would be gutted if my husband was cheating on me but if he were it would be him doing the cheating not the woman he was with.
 
Personally they're both as bad as each other. If she knows the situation and she's not bothered by it then she's just as bad as him.

I do think the man is worse in this situation, as a married person you stand up and make a promise to be faithful to your partner, you commit to them and if you cheat then you are the person breaking their heart. The person you cheat with is just someone who enables you to do this.

Its not a great idea to be going out with someone who is married and its likely to all end in tears but as a single person you are free to be with who you choose.

I can see this from both perspectives, I went out with a married man as a teenage (and regret it) and I am now married myself. I would be gutted if my husband was cheating on me but if he were it would be him doing the cheating not the woman he was with.

For me id say the woman is worse (in now way letting the guy off)

I just think that no woman should do that to another one.
 

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