My husband's cousin and me

[calm]

My husband's uncle, who is 52, had recently got back together with his partner. She is 40, and both of them have just had their first child.

She has a great pregnancy, and she couldn't stop smoking (she was told that the anxiety she got from not smoking was worse than stopping), and even so she had no complications either in pregnancy or in birth. I was not terribly broody when the baby was born. However, when I went to see her I really was. When I saw her little face, what I felt was just incredible, I saw both her parents totally doting every single minute to her existence, and I thought that was what I wanted so much it hurt. Many a time I would have to look away as my eyes would fill with tears. On the one hand, I just wanted to stay there forever, another part of me wanted to run away. The next morning I woke up really excited, like something marvelous had happened, and then I realized it had happened to someone else... It was so clear in my mind that that was what I wanted and I couldn't hang around, I had to get plan in action and get myself into shape so to TTC. In that way it was a help to me.

I went just one more time to see Paula. I took a photo of her in my husband's arms, he looked such the part... I have this picture on my mobile... I think the parents are very overtired and a bit sick of the continual visits, so I have this as an excuse not to obsess and go to see them more often.

I am very happy for them, but of course, I want my own, and impatient as i am, I want it now...

 

[Pinkgirl]

Oh hunni, i know how you feel.
It is hard and its especially hard to stay positive.
How long till you will be TTC?

 

[calm]

Thank you Pinkgirl. I would say from 6 months to 1 year (if all goes well)

 

[kate.m.]

calm: we might be ttc around the same time then!

I know exactly what u mean, i had to hold it together at a christening the other day, it was so lovely to see so many happy new parents, but also so sad at the same time: knowing that was exactly what i want, but cant have yet!

 

[Blob]

Awwww 6mnths-1yr isnt long at all!! I cannot believe my LO is 5mnths already
The time will fly by dont worry