LovelyLeonara
Member
- Joined
- Sep 23, 2011
- Messages
- 14
- Reaction score
- 0
A few months ago. My partner and i split up. We were both in India at the time working. We were together and try and rebuild myse3 years. Throughout those three years we never once used protection as i didn't even have a period for 2 and after that it was very sporadic.
When he and i broke up, he actually elft hte coutnry without telling me or our work agent. Once i had found out, my body was also screaming to get out. I came over to america to stay at my mothers house and try and rebuild myself. I was devastated, angry, hurt that he could do such a thing.
I should have been more angry than i was, my my body would not let me go. Infac teh very opposite. I started to learn his language, i felt his presence, i urged to be near him despite how we had ended.
Pregnancy crossed my mind on occasion however after 3 years of nothing, what were the chances of cocieving the last time we were physically together!!!!! However when i had found that my breasts became so sore beyond belief, sleeping pattern way off, and was feeling sick, i assumed i was heartbroken!
When i eventually did decide to take a test. He did not believe me. I sent a picture, he still did not, so i had to send one of myself in the test! He contacted my parents before i had the chance to tell them
Once he came around and believed me, iw as about 16 weeks. I had been to teh doctors the previous day and everything was great. Within a few hours he was on teh phone trying to convice me i was ruining hid and the babies life by keeping it and i'm selfish. He called my darling baby a gift from teh devil and that i should get that s*** scooped out of my v******** and he hated me!
within hours. I hemmoraged and underwent a severe miscarriage in the ER and lost 3 pints of blood............... I miss her!!!! thought that was it for me too......in some ways i wish it were but
She gave me everything and showed me everything i needed to see. My Beautiful Leonara, which seemed to fit her so perfectly, afterwards i had found out that her name means light
. She died on 9/11
When he and i broke up, he actually elft hte coutnry without telling me or our work agent. Once i had found out, my body was also screaming to get out. I came over to america to stay at my mothers house and try and rebuild myself. I was devastated, angry, hurt that he could do such a thing.
I should have been more angry than i was, my my body would not let me go. Infac teh very opposite. I started to learn his language, i felt his presence, i urged to be near him despite how we had ended.
Pregnancy crossed my mind on occasion however after 3 years of nothing, what were the chances of cocieving the last time we were physically together!!!!! However when i had found that my breasts became so sore beyond belief, sleeping pattern way off, and was feeling sick, i assumed i was heartbroken!
When i eventually did decide to take a test. He did not believe me. I sent a picture, he still did not, so i had to send one of myself in the test! He contacted my parents before i had the chance to tell them
Once he came around and believed me, iw as about 16 weeks. I had been to teh doctors the previous day and everything was great. Within a few hours he was on teh phone trying to convice me i was ruining hid and the babies life by keeping it and i'm selfish. He called my darling baby a gift from teh devil and that i should get that s*** scooped out of my v******** and he hated me!
within hours. I hemmoraged and underwent a severe miscarriage in the ER and lost 3 pints of blood............... I miss her!!!! thought that was it for me too......in some ways i wish it were but
She gave me everything and showed me everything i needed to see. My Beautiful Leonara, which seemed to fit her so perfectly, afterwards i had found out that her name means light
. She died on 9/11
All i can wish for is that she can come back to me when she has a father in her life to love her as much as i did....do!
I too had a m/c at 16 weeks xxx
I hope to give you all something! It was the most difficult song i have written. The first draft you can't even hear the words i am crying so much!
IT definatly not mine either. As you mgiht have gathered from the earlier post
