My mom & baby moving to virginia??

[loveme_x]

So, i understand how excited my mom is about having another baby grandchild,( her biological grandsons are both in college now!) but you might as well say it isn't even mine!
My mom was talking to her ex's sisters saying "When she have her baby me & uncle willie(a lil nickname she made up!) are moving to Virginia with my son!"
She owns a personal care home here and has like forever. I guess shes gonna give that up? I don't see why not though, my mom's always sick, & none of us can drive her to the hospital! That was my grandma's job (she died) or her ex's job.
I asked her "Then where am i gonna be at then?" she told me "Where ever yu wanna be yu can stay but and uncle willie are moving to virginia when he gets up a little"
I sware i feel like im 12!
I don't honestly know what to think of it? I don't have any money or financial support to do anything for it and im sure if it goes up there it'll be well taken care of, but i know i'll miss it sooooooooooooooo much!
I'm wondering should i go too or stay at the college apartments and finish out college here. I don't know what to feel about it yet, in 3 months im going to have him/her but for how long after??
Then, idk if the father will come back after the baby's born. So many thoughts fill my head, i honestly don't want to go live with my brother, his wife, his mother in law, my mother, and my child all in one house! They are so judegemental, and i'd hate being there.
How would you feel if this happened? Especially if your not like 18 yet, despite the fact im 18, i can't take a leap without knowing where the ledge is, meaning i can't tell my mother what im gon do & idk how imma do it! Its all so confusing.

 

[babymomma37]

Im not sure what i would do...But this is your child not hers and you can take care of the baby if you tried hard enough. She doesnt have a right to just assume your childs going with her. Im sorry your in this situation

 

[2beamummy12]

So, i understand how excited my mom is about having another baby grandchild,( her biological grandsons are both in college now!) but you might as well say it] isn't even mine!
My mom was talking to her ex's sisters saying "When she have her baby me & uncle willie(a lil nickname she made up!) are moving to Virginia with my son!"
She owns a personal care home here and has like forever. I guess shes gonna give that up? I don't see why not though, my mom's always sick, & none of us can drive her to the hospital! That was my grandma's job (she died) or her ex's job.
I asked her "Then where am i gonna be at then?" she told me "Where ever yu wanna be yu can stay but and uncle willie are moving to virginia when he gets up a little"
I sware i feel like im 12!
I don't honestly know what to think of it? I don't have any money or financial support to do anything for it and im sure if it goes up there it'll be well taken care of, but i know i'll miss it sooooooooooooooo much!
I'm wondering should i go too or stay at the college apartments and finish out college here. I don't know what to feel about it yet, in 3 months im going to have him/her but for how long after??
Then, idk if the father will come back after the baby's born. So many thoughts fill my head, i honestly don't want to go live with my brother, his wife, his mother in law, my mother, and my child all in one house! They are so judegemental, and i'd hate being there.
How would you feel if this happened? Especially if your not like 18 yet, despite the fact im 18, i can't take a leap without knowing where the ledge is, meaning i can't tell my mother what im gon do & idk how imma do it! Its all so confusing.

I am sorry but why do you keep calling your son "it" i hate that... Your child is your baby not an it...

And if it were me i would not let my child just go live with my mother my son is MINE not hers.

 

[Campbell]

Are you kidding me?

You are giving birth to the baby. He is YOURS. She can't take your kid just because she wants to. How are you "in college" but you don't know this?

Are we being trolled?

 

[xx~Lor~xx]

You need to sit your mum down and have a serious and calm chat. She needs to understand that this is YOUR child, and YOU are his mother, not her. She has to give you that chance to parent your own child instead of interfering and saying she is going to take him to live elsewhere!! I'd be majorly kicking off tbh with you if it was my mum saying that to me, I'd be putting my foot down and telling her my child stays with his mother, ME!

 

[Hayley90]

sorry, what?

you're asking if your mother should take your baby, and if you should go with them??

i dont understand how its not screaming at you... no mother would want their child to go live elsewhere. He is YOUR child. You are carrying him, you made him, why on earth would that even be a possibility that she could take him?!

Surely he is going to be with you anyway, so how would she get the opportunity?

sorry, im baffled. totally and utterly baffled. x

 

[jemmie1994]

she cant take your baby off you simple as

 

[beanzz]

Your baby is your baby, not hers. Why you're even thinking about this is beyond me.

 

[x.Mum2B.x]

1 why r u refering to ur son as "it" that's ur lil man not an "it" sorry but that annoys me
2 ur mum can't take ur child off u unless u let her it's as simple as that
3 I'm sure u could get help of the government until u get a job or somthing this is not that hard to figure out

 

[qwerry]

Personally, I dont think you even needed to post this as i think it's just plain simple common sense to know that YOUR baby will be staying with you ? I mean , i've never once had the thought cross my mind if i was going to send my baby packing to my mothers when she's born just because my mother said so.
I seriously hope you don't give up your baby just because your mother said that and in all honesty your mother is so out of line for even calling your son HER baby never mind saying she's moving to a different state with him.
Also, why wouldn't you move with them ? unless im missing something ? are you like a surrogate mother for your own mother or something? that's the only thing i can think of that would make sense as in to why she would want to up and leave with your baby and then leaving you behind?

But, if this isn't a troll then i think you should have serious words with your mother and tell her thats shes bang out of line.
If yuo want to stay in college until you are able to get a job then i would start job hunting NOW, I'm not sure how it works in the US but i'm sure they will give you some government aid,maybe.
And trust me if you would rather not see your child grow up and have to get on with your life as if nothing happened just because you dont want to live in a house with 5 people including your baby then you need to seriously re-think things. I live in a cramped house with 7 people, 8 when Ava is here and it's 3 bedroom and i don't exactly get on with my family but i would never give up my baby just to have my old normal life back.

 

[loveme_x]

So, i understand how excited my mom is about having another baby grandchild,( her biological grandsons are both in college now!) but you might as well say it] isn't even mine!
My mom was talking to her ex's sisters saying "When she have her baby me & uncle willie(a lil nickname she made up!) are moving to Virginia with my son!"
She owns a personal care home here and has like forever. I guess shes gonna give that up? I don't see why not though, my mom's always sick, & none of us can drive her to the hospital! That was my grandma's job (she died) or her ex's job.
I asked her "Then where am i gonna be at then?" she told me "Where ever yu wanna be yu can stay but and uncle willie are moving to virginia when he gets up a little"
I sware i feel like im 12!
I don't honestly know what to think of it? I don't have any money or financial support to do anything for it and im sure if it goes up there it'll be well taken care of, but i know i'll miss it sooooooooooooooo much!
I'm wondering should i go too or stay at the college apartments and finish out college here. I don't know what to feel about it yet, in 3 months im going to have him/her but for how long after??
Then, idk if the father will come back after the baby's born. So many thoughts fill my head, i honestly don't want to go live with my brother, his wife, his mother in law, my mother, and my child all in one house! They are so judegemental, and i'd hate being there.
How would you feel if this happened? Especially if your not like 18 yet, despite the fact im 18, i can't take a leap without knowing where the ledge is, meaning i can't tell my mother what im gon do & idk how imma do it! Its all so confusing.

I am sorry but why do you keep calling your son "it" i hate that... Your child is your baby not an it...

And if it were me i would not let my child just go live with my mother my son is MINE not hers.

I mean i would say him or him but thats longer plus ill start calling it the sex when i find out today lol

 

[loveme_x]

Are you kidding me?

You are giving birth to the baby. He is YOURS. She can't take your kid just because she wants to. How are you "in college" but you don't know this?

I say troll.

I know she can't just take my child. I'm not stupid. Like i said i don't know what to feel about it yet.

 

[Hayley90]

i don't know what to feel about it yet.

Ok this bit has got me.

Dont know what to feel about WHAT?

- your child
- your child being taken away
- your lack of job/money/house/normal (old) life

A mother loves and cares for their child unconditionally. What is there exactly for you to think about??

If you are willing to even consider giving him to your mother so she can raise him, why are you having him in the first place - if he is that inconvenient to you/college is that important, then consider adoption, but dont question where this poor kid will live, as it'll lead to confusion, resentment and a lot of bad feeling.

It seems like you are putting yourself ahead of your child.

sorry x

 

[beanzz]

Are you kidding me?

You are giving birth to the baby. He is YOURS. She can't take your kid just because she wants to. How are you "in college" but you don't know this?

I say troll.

I know she can't just take my child. I'm not stupid. Like i said i don't know what to feel about it yet.

What to feel about it yet?! that's your baby you should be angry or even worried that she wants to take him/her away from you....

 

[loveme_x]

Okay i understand most of you don't get the main point here.
1. I say "it" because i don't know the sex yet. I find out today. I said son in the quotation marks meaning my mom said shes going to go stay with HER son.
2. I don't have a place of my own, i stay here with my mother & i can't just up and find a place to stay with a child. College apartments don't allow children to stay with you.
3. I said i simply didn't know what to feel about this yet, ofc ITS mine & i have a say so, but i have mixed feelings about having a child all together. I haven't been thinking into the future as to money and all that. Just all the cute things i wanna do with him/her (is that better???)
4. I honestly didn't need the quick criticism before you even asked any questions. I did this quickly before i went to bed last night so i just typed off the top my head. All i asked for was a little advice or what would yu do.

There everyone happy?? Anymore questions?

 

[loveme_x]

Personally, I dont think you even needed to post this as i think it's just plain simple common sense to know that YOUR baby will be staying with you ? I mean , i've never once had the thought cross my mind if i was going to send my baby packing to my mothers when she's born just because my mother said so.
I seriously hope you don't give up your baby just because your mother said that and in all honesty your mother is so out of line for even calling your son HER baby never mind saying she's moving to a different state with him.
Also, why wouldn't you move with them ? unless im missing something ? are you like a surrogate mother for your own mother or something? that's the only thing i can think of that would make sense as in to why she would want to up and leave with your baby and then leaving you behind?

But, if this isn't a troll then i think you should have serious words with your mother and tell her thats shes bang out of line.
If yuo want to stay in college until you are able to get a job then i would start job hunting NOW, I'm not sure how it works in the US but i'm sure they will give you some government aid,maybe.
And trust me if you would rather not see your child grow up and have to get on with your life as if nothing happened just because you dont want to live in a house with 5 people including your baby then you need to seriously re-think things. I live in a cramped house with 7 people, 8 when Ava is here and it's 3 bedroom and i don't exactly get on with my family but i would never give up my baby just to have my old normal life back.

In all honesty, i posted it because THIS IS A FORUM TO ASK QUESTIONS! Im not asking whether or not i should keep my baby.

 

[Hayley90]

ok, so what ARE you asking?

it seems to me that you are asking us what we think about your mother taking your child to virginia with her, with no consideration to you or your location.

This is WRONG.

i cannot see HOW you can even question this! You are the childs mother, if you are that confused about it let someone who DOES care whereabouts it lives bring it up.

 

[qwerry]

2. I don't have a place of my own, i stay here with my mother & i can't just up and find a place to stay with a child. College apartments don't allow children to stay with you.
3. I said i simply didn't know what to feel about this yet, ofc ITS mine & i have a say so, but i have mixed feelings about having a child all together. I haven't been thinking into the future as to money and all that. Just all the cute things i wanna do with him/her (is that better???)

Wouldn't this mean that you would simply move with your mother and your baby then?I don't mean to be rude but i just think it's stupid regardless the situation of how you don't know how to feel. I have no job or money i'm 16 and it's highly unlikely i will have a job anytime soon so i have to think to the future and it's not looking peachy but i don't ever consider giving my baby up because i wont have the ideal future , i will do whatever i can for my baby.
And also, If you have mixed feelings then maybe you should take to someone about it then be it a doctor or a counselor as maybe they can tell you more about considering adoption instead of just handing over your baby to your mother because she said she would take the child for you

 

[qwerry]

Personally, I dont think you even needed to post this as i think it's just plain simple common sense to know that YOUR baby will be staying with you ? I mean , i've never once had the thought cross my mind if i was going to send my baby packing to my mothers when she's born just because my mother said so.
I seriously hope you don't give up your baby just because your mother said that and in all honesty your mother is so out of line for even calling your son HER baby never mind saying she's moving to a different state with him.
Also, why wouldn't you move with them ? unless im missing something ? are you like a surrogate mother for your own mother or something? that's the only thing i can think of that would make sense as in to why she would want to up and leave with your baby and then leaving you behind?

But, if this isn't a troll then i think you should have serious words with your mother and tell her thats shes bang out of line.
If yuo want to stay in college until you are able to get a job then i would start job hunting NOW, I'm not sure how it works in the US but i'm sure they will give you some government aid,maybe.
And trust me if you would rather not see your child grow up and have to get on with your life as if nothing happened just because you dont want to live in a house with 5 people including your baby then you need to seriously re-think things. I live in a cramped house with 7 people, 8 when Ava is here and it's 3 bedroom and i don't exactly get on with my family but i would never give up my baby just to have my old normal life back.

In all honesty, i posted it because THIS IS A FORUM TO ASK QUESTIONS! Im not asking whether or not i should keep my baby.

Technically if you ask me you asked us what we thought you should do or how you should go about the situation, if you read my reply back i gave you answers to your "questions" and i also gave my opinion on it as to how i felt this is a FORUM so i am entitled to say what i feel about a certain topic or subject.

 

[Hayley90]

i feel really sad that 1) you havent even decided wether or not you want to have/keep your child, 2) you've not thought about the CHILDS future, only your own 3) you seem to have missed the fact that you as the childs legal parent has a legal requirement to care for the child, or ensure that it is well cared for.

Your answers seem so flippant. Any parent faced with having their kid taken to another state would fight, argue, do ANYTHING to avoid it.

You dont have that reaction, so im guessing your hearts not really in this at all.

In which case, in stead of palming off the kid on whichever relative offers (ie, your sick mother) id find someone suitable and healthy to care for the child instead.

How none of this has occurred to you is beyond me. I suggest you talk to someone non partial like a lawyer or doctor and find out your options.