My OH & Honeymoon- grrrrrr- Ive been thinking (update)

[honeybee2]

Is is so wrong of me to want a fantastic honeymoon?

Something where we were pampered and have all inclusive drinks and food and beautiful beaches and money for activities (which I might add, he said would have to be a must!!!).

I want to go on an all inclusive (which is literally £100 more than half board) somewhere lovely that does not resemble Benidorm and has a beautiful white beach.

Holidays such as this including most of the spending money for 10 nights for 2 people in a NICE hotel would cost around (if your lucky) £1000 each. My OH thinks this is rediculous. He obviously has NO idea how much these things cost and he thinks that spendning £1000 each on a honeymoon is REDICULOUS. I'm starting to feel like he has no clue what this wedding means and he hates the fact that he's had to save up for this instead of something he really wants (he's still saving to go f*cking snowboarding before hand though!) and I'm bloody furious with him.

Is this selfish of me? Considering Ive paid over double of what he has for the wedding. I told him this is a once in alife time opportunity and he replied "no it aint" well it is as this is our only honeymoon.

For gods sake why cant he just understand. Everytime I tried to explain to him what sort of holiday it means we could have he butted in and said "nope, £1000 is too much" and that we should rely on the money our guests are giving us- how can you rely on this when you dont know how much they'd give?

He didnt even let me finish what I was going to say. He said we should wait untill very last minute before booking the holiday as thats when the best deals are (even though its the middle of bloody summer) and I suggested that we put a deposit down now as they have winter sales. But nope, he said we must wait untill his job tells him if he's going to get a full time contract or not as they might not give him the job if he knows he has a holiday. Its not just a f*cking holiday its our marriage!

Why cant he put us and our happiness first instead of him being tight fisted and selfish?

I dont usually demand this- but we're not gona get the opportunity to do it again. If it was up to him we'd spend a week in a hostel eating from pancake stands each day in Yugoslavia!

update

Ive been thinking. I can see our 1.2 punto needing alot of work done to it. Ive already taken it to the garage twice and its still sounding like poo- and most cold mornings it wont start
Plus... our house needs some work done to it. We've not paid rent because my MIL let us off to save for wedding and the bathroom, spare bedroom, kitchen and hallway all need decorating and I think it'll be lovely to make it a lovely home to live in and when we leave, it'll be worth a bit more to my MIL.

So I've made a desicion. Its not been an easy one because oh how I long to sip cocktails out of coconuts and be fanned but..

if we sell the Punto for £1000 (its only 6 years old and a new battery some cleaning and fix the window wiper it'll be good for a first time driver)

and..

If we both continue to save £1000 each for the honeymoon

and...

if our guests continue to give us cash gifts

We'd have at least £3500.

I really think the best thing to do is to spend £2000 on a more reliable and efficient car and tax it and insure it for the year.

Have £1000 for the honeymoon and go somewhere hot and sunny for a week (it can still be just as romantic)

and the guests cash gifts can go towards home improvements- maybe decorate a potential nursery in the spare room?

Either way, although it would be lovely to blow all the money we had on a luxury honeymoon, its not very practical or fair when we have no money and need improvements.

What are your thoughts?

We could just spend £500 getting the car back into shape, spend £1000 on a honeymoon and have £1000 to start our new lives with and decorate?

 

[booflebump]

I can see how important this is to you, and he should be respectful of that and see if there is some compromise that the two of you can come too.

Have you presented him with packages of the kind of thing you want? So he can see where all the money is going and what on?

However, I can see his point about waiting to see about his job too, he doesn't want to jeopardise that.

On the other hand, I can understand your frustrations at his lack of input and financial contribution to the wedding.

But, a successful marriage doesn't all hang on whether you get a swish honeymoon or not. Perhaps you could look at a few nights away after the wedding, then start to save for the holiday of a lifetime from then on. He maybe is feeling that spending 2k on a honeymoon straight after the wedding is too much.

xxx

 

[honeybee2]

Ye I understand its a lot of money- but he's only actually paying £750 towards the whole wedding. He has the money saved in his account for the honeymoon if he wanted too- but of course he doesnt want to jepodise his beloved snowboarding holiday- not even for our honeymoon that will happen once why are men such knobs?

 

[booflebump]

Ok, now I can completely see why you are mad!! So he would rather go snowboarding than on a swish honeymoon? He can go snowboarding any bloody time!

In the grand scheme of it £750 is a piddly contribution, especially when you consider he has been investing his energy in saving for a holiday for himself. Marriage is about sacrifice - not who you are, but thinking about someone else first other than yourself, and he isn't doing that.

Sorry he is being such a pain

 

[Timid]

He sounds like he is being quite selfish. I worry if he is like this over other things too?


I hope that it works out OK though

Tx

 

[honeybee2]

Oh ye, he is a typical man! I know I sound selfish atm but Im so angry- I do want everything to be perfect but thats because this is the only chance to make it perfect.
I'll make him come around....you'll see. I always get my way muhahahahahaha!

He is just like my Dad in many ways- tight! hahaha!

 

[booflebump]

You aren't being selfish, he is x

 

[honeybee2]

lmao- told you Id get him to save £1000 for it! Just a matter of time! x

 

[randomxx]

he's being very selfish hun, i'd put my foot down and demand a really good honeymoon xx

 

[honeybee2]

ye its ok- I managed to make him in the end. We're looking at cuba or mexico! x

 

[kimmyk]

aw yay!! Glad you're going somewhere lovely and warm! I don't know about Cuba but there are sooo many great all inclusive deals at places in Mexico - especially around March because all the college kids go down there for spring break (just be sure not to book some drunken party hotel by accident!)

 

[honeybee2]

march will be a little too late for us- we'll be booking it for late aug early sept xx

 

[honeybee2]

a bump for your thoughts ladies xx

 

[superbecks]

It's the time together that is important, not where you go or how expensive it is to get there. I just had a quick look on thomas cook and you can go all inclusive on the 3rd sept for a week to Turkey 4 star for £943. 3star is even cheaper. Some people are funny about Turkey though but I personally love it xx

 

[xLaurax]

I personally think that your being very sensible, i havent commented before because our honeymoon is a holiday with the kids to disney for a few days...

How is your OH with the change?

Well done for prioritising, i know its really hard but i genuinely think your doing the right thing

 

[honeybee2]

he is really pleased!

we have come to a conclusion.

We'll both put our £1000 together giving us £2000

we'll spend £500 doing the car up, £1000 on a honeymoon and we'll put the other £500 towards the B&Q and Ikea vouchers we'll ask for from our guests to do up the house.

We have no right to spend £2500 on a 2 week holiday when we have no money, and it'll give us a ncie project to come home too and start our married life on. Man I feel so much better!

 

[honeybee2]

i feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders!

phew!

a nice nursery to paint! So excited x

 

[xLaurax]

Yay!! thats absolutely fab sweetie

Vouchers is also a brill idea too, like you say a lovely little project to come back to, plus you'll be achieving everything your doing together and thats the most important thing xx

 

[rachael872211]

a bump for your thoughts ladies xx

I've been to both Mexico and Cuba. I loved them both. I have to say though that if I had the choice to go back to one it would defo be Mexico. There was much excursions to do. Like you had more choice. But saying that, when we went to Cuba, there was a fantastic island we visited which was north East of Cuba which felt like paradise.

The worst thing about Cuba was how they the staff tried to rob you. This happened at the hotel. When we tried to check out and leave friends of mine weren't allowed until they paid for a new bedside table which had a bit of wood chipped away on the inside of the drawer. They wouldn't let them get on the coach and they said that they would not be allowed to leave the country, they would be stopped at the airport, as they owed the government for the table. Then the manager went to look at the table and said (this other member of staff) was being ridiculous.

Both places had their good bits though and I loved them both. When you decide I'll tell you my favourite places I went...........

Oh also, I think August is the hurricane season, September is when it gets better.............then the prices start going up..........I think March is when it starts going back down again. x

 

[sapphire20]

I think you have obviously made the right decision for you!!!

xx