rwhite
Mum to Lachie and Clem
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Much as I love my OH, his indecision with this baby has been driving me up the wall!
I understand that he's scared and never really wanted this baby to happen, because we had a slip-up on the pill (antibiotics, I didn't really give extra protection a second thought as I'd been okay before ), but sometimes I just feel like slapping him and saying snap out of it!
To start with, he had asked if I would consider getting an abortion, when he knew very well that I would never do that when I was in an acceptable position to support and raise my child and give it the love it deserves - we'd had that discussion before and he had always said he would support my decision. I had always wanted to have children rather young (I would have perhaps liked to have been a couple of years older, 22 or 23, but I feel like I've done a lot of the things as a young person that I want to do), whereas OH wanted to be 30/35 when he became a first time father. For me, that was never really something I would have compromised with - a first child at 30 or later has never appealed. So he really feels as if he's stunted now.
For the first few weeks after finding out, he was very clear in his disappointment, but said that this baby had better be a boy because then at least it makes it not so bad. That makes him sound like a jerk, but I suppose a lot of men might feel that way, as a consolation I'm not sure. Anyway, he got his wish and we are having a little man.
Things are mostly okay now, he had seemingly come to terms with the fact that we'll be having a child, but every now and then he will say something frustrating. It's odd, because he tells everybody he knows that he's going to be a dad in March, and that he's pleased about it, but then goes and says silly things to me.
About a month ago he said to me "You know, things would be much easier if this just wasn't happening...sometimes I wish it wasn't" - I was sort of like, well it's a little late for that now, isn't it? Baby's due in less than five months and you've had a fair while to get used to the idea. Why say that you're excited if you're going to turn around and negate that?
But then he'll say things like "I'm going to take little Oliver out every weekend, he's going to have so much fun" etc etc, saying how cool it will be to raise him and run around with him.
Then just this week he's said to me "It would be nice if baby could just stay in your belly, wouldn't it? Just be like he is at the moment". My response was "Hmm, no? You're not the one that has to deal with the cramps and aches and pains and all that jazz. That, and I'm actually looking forward to meeting this little person I've carried for almost 7 months.."
Sorry for the rant and the length of the post, it's just driving me bonkers the way he'll say one thing and then turn around and say something completely opposite... Is anybody else's OH saying/acting like this, because I feel so confused and don't quite know what he is feeling right now
xxx Thanks for listening ladies
I understand that he's scared and never really wanted this baby to happen, because we had a slip-up on the pill (antibiotics, I didn't really give extra protection a second thought as I'd been okay before ), but sometimes I just feel like slapping him and saying snap out of it!
To start with, he had asked if I would consider getting an abortion, when he knew very well that I would never do that when I was in an acceptable position to support and raise my child and give it the love it deserves - we'd had that discussion before and he had always said he would support my decision. I had always wanted to have children rather young (I would have perhaps liked to have been a couple of years older, 22 or 23, but I feel like I've done a lot of the things as a young person that I want to do), whereas OH wanted to be 30/35 when he became a first time father. For me, that was never really something I would have compromised with - a first child at 30 or later has never appealed. So he really feels as if he's stunted now.
For the first few weeks after finding out, he was very clear in his disappointment, but said that this baby had better be a boy because then at least it makes it not so bad. That makes him sound like a jerk, but I suppose a lot of men might feel that way, as a consolation I'm not sure. Anyway, he got his wish and we are having a little man.
Things are mostly okay now, he had seemingly come to terms with the fact that we'll be having a child, but every now and then he will say something frustrating. It's odd, because he tells everybody he knows that he's going to be a dad in March, and that he's pleased about it, but then goes and says silly things to me.
About a month ago he said to me "You know, things would be much easier if this just wasn't happening...sometimes I wish it wasn't" - I was sort of like, well it's a little late for that now, isn't it? Baby's due in less than five months and you've had a fair while to get used to the idea. Why say that you're excited if you're going to turn around and negate that?
But then he'll say things like "I'm going to take little Oliver out every weekend, he's going to have so much fun" etc etc, saying how cool it will be to raise him and run around with him.
Then just this week he's said to me "It would be nice if baby could just stay in your belly, wouldn't it? Just be like he is at the moment". My response was "Hmm, no? You're not the one that has to deal with the cramps and aches and pains and all that jazz. That, and I'm actually looking forward to meeting this little person I've carried for almost 7 months.."
Sorry for the rant and the length of the post, it's just driving me bonkers the way he'll say one thing and then turn around and say something completely opposite... Is anybody else's OH saying/acting like this, because I feel so confused and don't quite know what he is feeling right now
xxx Thanks for listening ladies