my sister read my phone

[dizzyangel]

sorry in advance if this post is a bit long winded.

i never ever leave my mobile phone anywhere as i have caught my sister looking at it before. once i saw her doing that i have always kept it with me and even take it with me when i have a bath or am nipping out the room for just a second.
i stayed over at my sisters house the other week and left my phone charging next to my bed while i was downstairs. my sister went upstairs to do something - i presumed it was to get some washing or clean up or whatever jobs she had to do so i thought nothing of it.
when she came back down she said 'is your phone still charging when it has a lightening flash?' it does, so i told her yes and i knew she had looked at my phone. i thought she had just pressed a button and saw it was still charging and came back down but when i went to get my phone it was unlocked. my phone is a slide phone so if she had opened it and looked then shut it again it would have locked itself but i hadnt so i was suspicious that she had been snooping.
next she started asking about the FOB housemate and about FOB which made me even more suspicious as we never talk about them and it was a bit random the way she brought it up.

Anyway, the thing is ive never told my sister about Hope nor do i want her to know and i have kept nearly every message from FOB on my phone and i think she has read a lot of them but im not sure how many. she has told a mutual friend of ours who does know a little about my angel baby that she has read some messages and she thinks ive had an abortion, which isnt true, because FOB was so nasty to me. she mentioned the 24th Sept when we were both drunk last Saturday, which was my due date and i would love to know what she has read/seen but dont actually want to talk to her about it!

im really mad about it and she would go ape if i had gone through her phone. should i confront her about reading my stuff or just pretend that nothing has happened? (or kick her ar*e??)
im actually so mad it makes me feel sick, sorry about the rant
xx

 

[shocker]

How would your sister not know? Maybe shes curious, i know myself that if my sister was 21 weeks pregnant one minute and then not the next and didnt tell me what happened i would snoop as much as i could to find out what was going on.Sorry if that sounds bad but its quite upsetting not knowing, my nephew passed away when i was quite young and my sister didnt talk about him for a few years.I didnt want to upset anyone so i used to try and find anything i could that would help me understand what had happened.Im sure your sister doesnt mean to upset you over this but its quite possible she just needs to know about her niece

 

[dizzyangel]

i never told my family i was pregnant so thats why my sister doesnt know. i know it would break her heart to know what happened and i really dont want to have to re-live it all having to tell her and she is one of those people that would want to know ever little detail and would ask so many questions that i dont want to be faced with.
thanks for the quick response
xx

 

[shocker]

Im sure it would break her heart but you said she thinks you've had an abortion so she must have known you were pregnant.It could be that the mutual friend has told her maybe and thats how she knew your due date? It could be that she just wants to support you and let you know your not on your own, if you dont feel you can deal with her questions perhaps ask her to leave the questions for now and just listen instead

 

[bubbles]

I would confront her hun. It sounds like she wants to know so she can help and support you through a very difficult time. If she asks questions that you don't feel ready to answer I would tell her you weren't ready xx

 

[cinnamini]

I agree with everything that's been said. She seems to know something is up and is trying to find out what it is. Sounds like she's trying to make it obvious to you that she's there for you to talk it through.

I lost a baby a couple of years ago and my whole family was very supportive but I don't know what I would have done without my sister ... she was my rock and I don't think she even realises!

Talk to her, there will be tears on both sides but the relief you'll feel by sharing with her will be immense!

 

[Tegans Mama]

of course she is in the wrong for snooping on your phone. But I must add, if you were my sister and I found out about your loss x amount of months down the line, I would be angry, not because you didn't tell me but because you didn't let me support you. I hope you know what I mean.

I would talk to her about it, and if you feel comfortable enough, tell your sister the true story. And also tell her, if you ever catch her snooping again, you will kick her butt

 

[purpledahlia]

yeah i would confront her but it would most probably mean telling her the truth, she will jst be hurt your not confiding in her probably. She might be a great support as hard as it would be for you to talk about. xxx

 

[Whisper]

Honestly although she is wrong for snooping she probably senses something is up and wants to find out...that how i would look at it, and going through the trauma of loosing a child must change a person someways. So maybe she has picked up on that?

 

[cinnamini]

Yes, you should speak to her ... like someone else has already said, she'll probably be a little upset at first that you didn't confide in her but once she gets over that you'll probably be really surprised by her reaction. You need to do this for you as well though ... someone close to you needs to know so they can support you.

 

[dizzyangel]

thanks for all the advice. i will probably confront her after christmas. i will probably see her next on christmas day and its going to be such a hard time for me anyway and i dont want to make myself feel any worse so think its best if i leave it.

i dont want to sound nasty but the thing is, i didnt want any help or support from her. i had managed the whole time on my own and seemed to be doing ok and i know she would fuss and worry and im not the type of person to want people fussing over me.
she must have read most the messages on my phone which is how she found out about me being pg and my due date as my friend has sworn she never said a word but has just listened when my sister had been talking about it. i know she is trying to be a protective big sister but i have always been the stronger one out of the two of us so i find it very difficult when its me that needs 'help' so i am probably being very stubborn and used to the fact that i am pretty independent.

i dont think it helped that the only time we've spoke about it was when we were both drunk and tbh i cant remember much of the conversation.
thanks again for all the replies
xx