My soon to be 5 year will NOT listen at school or anywhere else!!

Discussion in 'Toddler & Pre-School' started by twiggy327, Jun 13, 2013.

  1. twiggy327

    twiggy327 Well-Known Member

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    My daughter will be 5 in August and is starting kindergarten this year. She is currently in preschool and gets at least 1 "timeout" per day if not more. They base a "good day" on less than 3 timeouts. She is very independent and outgoing which is what I love about her. She did dance last year and would not listen and follow directions for the teacher so I pulled her out half way through the session thinking she was too young. This year she does gymnastics and only ocassionally gets in trouble there. She wanted to do Teeball and all was well for the first couple games and then Jordynator emerged (Her name is Jordyn and her teachers at school call her Jordynator after the Terminator...lovely right??) She literally walked the bases and ignored her coaches instructions and poked and tiptoed along when the ball came to her. Can you say embarrassing!?! Now that Teeball is over I signed her up for swim lessons. This was her first week and it was Jordynator all over again!! She loves to swim so I thought I had a winner here...NOT!! She was fine for the first day but the second day she was a nightmare!! Got out of the water, ran around the pool deck, was throwing floaties around everywhere, and actually teased the teacher with a ball and then chucked it into the pool over her head so she would have to go and get it. I almost pulled her out early and left of embarrassment!! If your children do extra curriculars you know how expensive it is. I am willing to fork out the cash and sacrifice my shoe collection fund but WTF?? Im wasting money! Shes obviously not getting anything out of it other than making other mothers think she was raised by a pack of wolves! I tried taking things away from her, time outs, no play dates, nothing is working!!!!!!!!! what do i do??
     
  2. Gingerspice

    Gingerspice Well-Known Member

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    I'm not sure there is much you can do. I send my LO to swimming and gymnastics. She is increasingly playing up in swimming (I still go in with her) but from sept she's on her own. i'm hoping she will calm down and focus when I'm not there for her to try and wind me up.

    I'd say just keep at it. Are you within sight of the activities? Maybe compleyely ignore tthe beh aviour and let the teacher deal with it, and then you not comment about it at all afterwards. Might be doing it knowing you give lots of attention telling her off about the misbehaviour and you completely ignoring it and making no issue (as long as the teachers address stuff at the time) might just provide sufficient break of attention seeking?
     
  3. LauraLu

    LauraLu Well-Known Member

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    It's definite attention seeking behavior. I know it its because my five year old daughter is the SAME way! We have finally seemed to have nipped it in the bud.

    Ok, first things first. Does your daughter have siblings? If so, is she get the appropriate one-on-one time with you and Daddy? Stories, etc? Do you genuinely actively listen and engage in conversation with her? (No, I promise I'm not trying to be a smart-mouth!!!). I found that sometimes I was too engrossed with my toddler or the tv or my phone or whatever. I "thought" I was listening, but I wasn't. Make sure you are changing your own listening ways so she feels heard and that her feelings are validated.

    Secondly, could she just be bored in preschool? Does she complain that she already knows the material? My daughter did incredibly well academically, but she needed the social component of the school setting. Don't be afraid to ask for an initial gifted screening once kindergarten rolls around. I did, and I'm glad I did, because my daughter qualified. She wasn't forced to sit through phonics and become a possible behavior disturbance to others. She went to the gifted teacher for more challenging activities.

    Thirdly, go and run for these two books. The first is called 1-2-3 Magic. The second is called How to Talk So Your Kids Will Listen. I've mentioned the first book on this site a number of times, so I apologize for the redundancy to anyone else reading. Both are awesome books that I found amazing!!!

    Bottom line is, you've got to do something NOW before it gets out of control. If I were you, I'd pull her from all activities and use them as an incentive for good behavior. Sticker charts were jokes in our house. Our daughter would just laugh. I seriously had to readjust my OWN parenting methods.

    GOOD LUCK MOMMA!!! You can do this! :thumbup:
     
  4. chubbin

    chubbin Proud mum of one

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    The part about listening is so true. Active listening is hard enough with an adult, let alone a child. But wow when you really make the effort to listen, its amazing how easy it is to improve your childs frame of mind and your relationship. I often ' fall off the wagon' and use the stock phrases to pretend im listening, but when i actually do the rapport we build up plus the affect on my sons behaviour is massively positive :flower:
     

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