5Matthew8
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- Nov 19, 2014
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Hi Girls 
I decided to join this forum to share my experience of ttc. I have frantically, enthusiastically, and even disappointedly read hundreds of posts during this last year. It was very important to me to be a part of a community that shared my same feelings. Lets admit that no matter how supportive your family and friends are, no one understands like the other girls in your shoes, right?
It was Christmas last year, and I realized I wanted a baby. What a HUGE step for me. I didn't grow up planning my wedding and imagining myself with children. Most of my friends are single and without kids. However, I love my hubby and couldn't resist the thought of sharing such an experience with my best friend.
At this time I had NO idea that ovulation trackers existed! I got to looking around in the APP store on my iphone and found 2 that I liked and downloaded them. My periods are almost always irregular. At first, I used these apps just to calculate my next period since they're always a surprise! And eventually I started to make note on days we did the deed
Boy, that was scary! The thought of a real baby scared the hell out of me! I would try to avoid the green days (ovulation) sometimes because I wasn't sure if I was ready. What I didn't realize was that, you can talk yourself out of anything if you give yourself the chance!
You could say that we weren't actively trying, but we weren't preventing it either. Then suddenly I was addicted. We were actively trying, every month! And I drove myself CRAZY. I would convince myself that I was pregnant. I started to check the position of my cervix during all stages of my cycle, and I would also note what the discharge was like. Honestly, I do not think it is a reliable source to determine pregnancy. There were many of times that it would be high and open, high and closed, low and open, low and closed, soft, medium, hard, whatever! It constantly changed. During the day, during the week, during all phases of my cycle. After documenting the position for months, there was NEVER a consistency. Even now that I'm pregnant, It has moved.
On the other hand my period symptoms remained the same. First a headache two to three days prior. Then my boobs would get sore, I would get bloated, hungry, tired and sleepy! My periods are the worst. They make me feel sick.
I was obsessed. I read hundreds of threads trying to find similarities to prove that I was pregnant. And finally, I had to stop. It was starting to stress me out. I felt sad because I hadn't gotten pregnant. And I was depressed thinking about something that might be wrong with me
I stopped controlling it, and then I PRAYED. To the ONE and ONLY person/thing that I could put my faith in. God could read my heart, and he knows above all else, what my plans are. I turned my energy and efforts to prayers for understanding and peace. I stopped obsessing. I knew that God would answer my prayers. I put my life in his hands.
Yes, I looked occasionally at my APPS, just to see if we had done the deed on a day that landed us in the green But I felt guilty every time! And guess what, I always got my period too!... Where was my faith?
A few months went by...
And then it happened. Well, I didn't know it had happened cause I had stopped paying attention. I knew my period was coming, but like I said, I was always a day or two irregular so I didn't think much when AF didn't show. A few days later, one of the APPS had sent me an Alert! "Take a pregnancy test today!" And I thought, yea... sure. The next day, (four days late) I had NO signs of my period. Just that my boobies were a little sore. And not the same kind of sore. It was different. So I picked up a test (box of 2). Took the first one at 9:30pm on 11/14/14 and it was a "+"....
I took the second one the following morning, and got another positive! Grabbed my Hubby and thanked God.
In the beginning, I didn't think it would happen. A year is a long, long, long time to wait! And I know what it feels like. I just want to share with you all, what I had done differently. And what has become a big part of my life, my faith in God. And if it wasn't for this experience, I don't think I'd be in the same place.
Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
I decided to join this forum to share my experience of ttc. I have frantically, enthusiastically, and even disappointedly read hundreds of posts during this last year. It was very important to me to be a part of a community that shared my same feelings. Lets admit that no matter how supportive your family and friends are, no one understands like the other girls in your shoes, right?
It was Christmas last year, and I realized I wanted a baby. What a HUGE step for me. I didn't grow up planning my wedding and imagining myself with children. Most of my friends are single and without kids. However, I love my hubby and couldn't resist the thought of sharing such an experience with my best friend.
At this time I had NO idea that ovulation trackers existed! I got to looking around in the APP store on my iphone and found 2 that I liked and downloaded them. My periods are almost always irregular. At first, I used these apps just to calculate my next period since they're always a surprise! And eventually I started to make note on days we did the deed
Boy, that was scary! The thought of a real baby scared the hell out of me! I would try to avoid the green days (ovulation) sometimes because I wasn't sure if I was ready. What I didn't realize was that, you can talk yourself out of anything if you give yourself the chance!You could say that we weren't actively trying, but we weren't preventing it either. Then suddenly I was addicted. We were actively trying, every month! And I drove myself CRAZY. I would convince myself that I was pregnant. I started to check the position of my cervix during all stages of my cycle, and I would also note what the discharge was like. Honestly, I do not think it is a reliable source to determine pregnancy. There were many of times that it would be high and open, high and closed, low and open, low and closed, soft, medium, hard, whatever! It constantly changed. During the day, during the week, during all phases of my cycle. After documenting the position for months, there was NEVER a consistency. Even now that I'm pregnant, It has moved.
On the other hand my period symptoms remained the same. First a headache two to three days prior. Then my boobs would get sore, I would get bloated, hungry, tired and sleepy! My periods are the worst. They make me feel sick.
I was obsessed. I read hundreds of threads trying to find similarities to prove that I was pregnant. And finally, I had to stop. It was starting to stress me out. I felt sad because I hadn't gotten pregnant. And I was depressed thinking about something that might be wrong with me
I stopped controlling it, and then I PRAYED. To the ONE and ONLY person/thing that I could put my faith in. God could read my heart, and he knows above all else, what my plans are. I turned my energy and efforts to prayers for understanding and peace. I stopped obsessing. I knew that God would answer my prayers. I put my life in his hands.
Yes, I looked occasionally at my APPS, just to see if we had done the deed on a day that landed us in the green
But I felt guilty every time! And guess what, I always got my period too!... Where was my faith?A few months went by...
And then it happened. Well, I didn't know it had happened cause I had stopped paying attention. I knew my period was coming, but like I said, I was always a day or two irregular so I didn't think much when AF didn't show. A few days later, one of the APPS had sent me an Alert! "Take a pregnancy test today!" And I thought, yea... sure. The next day, (four days late) I had NO signs of my period. Just that my boobies were a little sore. And not the same kind of sore. It was different. So I picked up a test (box of 2). Took the first one at 9:30pm on 11/14/14 and it was a "+"....
I took the second one the following morning, and got another positive! Grabbed my Hubby and thanked God.In the beginning, I didn't think it would happen. A year is a long, long, long time to wait! And I know what it feels like. I just want to share with you all, what I had done differently. And what has become a big part of my life, my faith in God. And if it wasn't for this experience, I don't think I'd be in the same place.
Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
