Name “Stealing”

[Babybump87]

Bit of background

My sister had a baby girl via emergency c section in 2012, sadly she passed away 12 days later in the NICU . My sister had a name picked for her at the 20 week scan, and even after my niece was born referred to her as this name.

Given the news of the doctors about her limited life my sister decided to let her two other young children name her instead given the circumstances. They choose a completey different name from what sister had originally named her .

Now forward 9 years and my brother and his girl friend want to use that exact name for their baby due later this year

Would you be upset with this ?

 

[HLx]

Hi hun, i wouldn't be upset by this, id see this as a really nice gesture, letting the name live on in a way. I think its a nice thing, but everyone is different

 

[Bevziibubble]

I wouldn't be upset

 

[DobbyForever]

I think it would depend on their motivation. If they asked me first before announcing it to people or saying it’s totally decided. If it was truly in her memory or perhaps in memory of someone she had been named for, then I would be touched. But if it’s just because it’s a nice name, I’d see it as insensitive. I’d be upset but not ruin our relationship upset. Also depends on how much I already liked my brother and his gf to begin with . It has been nearly a decade, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t feel some type of way about what happens. But ultimately, their kid and it’s their choice so whatever they decided is only up to them. it’s her decision how she wants to feel/react.

 

[Babybump87]

I can see both sides of the coin on this .

I think the fact they don’t always see eye to eye makes things a bit more awkward !

Urgh families , why do some things have to cause so much drama!

 

[DobbyForever]

Oh dang. With that extra info I’m switching from NAH to bro and gf definitely TA

 

[Babybump87]

I think they may have seen sisters view on this and they are changing the middle name!

Not without a few choice words being said which I think is a shame!

 

[DobbyForever]

Hopefully things settle over time.

 

[Buffaloed]

Bit of background

My sister had a baby girl via emergency c section in 2012, sadly she passed away 12 days later in the NICU . My sister had a name picked for her at the 20 week scan, and even after my niece was born referred to her as this name.

Given the news of the doctors about her limited life my sister decided to let her two other young children name her instead given the circumstances .

Now forward 9 years and my brother and his girl friend want to use that exact name for their baby due later this year

Would you be upset with this ?

It strikes me as a stunning lack of empathy for your sister and incredibly unfair to the baby that's due. The respectful thing to do is to give the newborn a first name that wasn't a name chosen by your sister, and use one of your sister's names for the middle name. As the child grows up tell her how she got her middle name and perhaps when she has her own children she'll give one of them the name your sister chose. Sorry for butting in.

 

[Babybump87]

No thank you for your post !

I totally agree with everything you said !

They are dead set on calling the baby the first name but now either a different or no middle name .

Since the argument they are now referring to the baby as said name which they never done before as if they are proving some kind of point . I dunno

I find them both very immature and extremely inconsiderate the way the have gone about this

 

[love.peace]

How does your sister feel?
I'm so sorry for her loss.

I had to sit with the question and really think but I do believe I would be incredibly upset by this. Your sister lost her baby. The name she will remember her daughter by. There are so many other names.
What are your brothers motives? To commemorate his niece? Perhaps he could use it as a middle name then.

 

[MrsKatie]

Right, the answer to this comes down to context and motivation, and the relationship between your sister and brother. There are so many millions of names, it is bizarre they have made this their hill to die on. If your sister planned to never have another baby that would change things too but it sounds like that’s not the case.

 

[Babybump87]

Sister was heartbroken !

Nothing at all to respect or honour my niece . Just they like the name that’s basically it.

Sister and her husband would like to have more kids but it’s just not happened yet and obviously wants to use that name !

Yeah they went toe to toe over this! But brother has backed down slightly and dropped the middle name but still sticking with the first name, because they had it in mind for their first born but didn’t tell anyone as they had a boy.

Sister has already said she will still use the name regardless .

I dunno families. !

 

[xMissxZoiex]

As someone who has lost 3 babies late on I'd be devastated!, to many it would be just a name but its an awful thing to do!.

If her child had lived would they have still used the name?, I highly doubt it!. To us angel mums its so much more than just a baby name, it becomes almost their entire identity.

One of my siblings is due a baby boy in October and I am truly worried they'll use on of our little boys' names. I don't think they would but it's playing on my mind.

 

[Babybump87]

As someone who has lost 3 babies late on I'd be devastated!, to many it would be just a name but its an awful thing to do!.

If her child had lived would they have still used the name?, I highly doubt it!. To us angel mums its so much more than just a baby name, it becomes almost their entire identity.

One of my siblings is due a baby boy in October and I am truly worried they'll use on of our little boys' names. I don't think they would but it's playing on my mind.

I agree . They would not be using the name today if she was with us,no. .

So sorry for the loss of your beautiful babies .

Some people are not as inconsiderate. I would have been ok with it had they spoke to sister first and honoured her memory. Just seems wrong the way they went about it .

 

[xMissxZoiex]

I agree . They would not be using the name today if she was with us,no. .

So sorry for the loss of your beautiful babies .

Some people are not as inconsiderate. I would have been ok with it had they spoke to sister first and honoured her memory. Just seems wrong the way they went about it .

Its totally disrespectful, this is the sort of thing that can drive wedges between people and even tear extended families apart. Do they really think that the poor angel mother is going to want to meet a newborn baby that's called the same thing as her precious angel. I think someone with a little 'authority' in the family should step in and have words.

 

[Babybump87]

They are still using the name but don’t have a middle name.

 

[Kiwiberry]

Did the brother & his gf have the name they're planning to use before they knew about the sisters choice for a girl name?

 

[Babybump87]

Did the brother & his gf have the name they're planning to use before they knew about the sisters choice for a girl name?

. My niece passed away 2 years before brother and his GF where even together. Everyone in the family knows the situation too.

 

[Babybump87]

When they said about the name for their first born I dont think sister was that bothered because in the end they had a boy so it sort of become a non issue.

But it’s fine to everyone else because sister didn’t use that name. I’m probably gonna say something becuase they have annoyed me so much over it .