Need 2 Rant..

Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive' started by BellaBlu, Dec 24, 2009.

  1. BellaBlu

    BellaBlu Lovin' my boys :)

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    So my husband and I were laying in bed last night, and (I) happen to talk about "when" we get pregnant quite a bit, which I'm aware of. I can't help that I'm enthusiastic about it. I know we're not pregnant yet, but that doesn't stop me from thinking/talking about when we finally do get there. He never really says much back about it, so I've asked him if he's ready, and he says he is.. But last night he got angry because I asked why he never seems very keen on talking about it.. and said "Well i'll get excited WHEN it happens, It should have happened by now-There is no point in getting excited about it when we don't know IF it will even happen.. :cry: ouch. I was so angry with him. I know that it's alot of pressure but geesh.. :nope: wasn't a very good night. Anyways, thanks for reading my rant.. I already feel alot better after just typing it.. :blush: Here's to hoping for a better day*
     
  2. Kitty23

    Kitty23 Mummy to Poppy and Noah

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    :hugs: poor you :(

    Men are just odd like that, my dh couldn't get excited about us trying for a baby and wouldn't talk about it lol though it did take 2 years! He only got excited when we finally got our bfp and he confessed he didnt want to talk about while we trying as he was scared it wouldnt happen.

    Men just arent good talkers lol. :hugs: xxx
     
  3. BellaBlu

    BellaBlu Lovin' my boys :)

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    thanks for the reply kitty :hugs: .. he woke up and apologized.. :dohh: And they call women complicated. :))
     
  4. moochacha

    moochacha LTTTC - Mum to Cody (11)

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    Ouch huni!

    I am glad he apologized sometimes my husband doesn't understand how far I'm going to go to get our Bfp. Up until a few weeks ago he wanted me to "leave it to nature"...

    Then i made him watch a doc on how hard it is to conceive a baby and now he's all for charting, temping, Opk and timing BD... lol

    Anyway wishing you a Bfp :dust:
     
  5. abster

    abster See you later!

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    My OH said a similar thing to me last night. Men are donkeys :rofl::rofl: Hope it happens for you soon. Happy Christmas!
    Abi x
     
  6. TySonNMe

    TySonNMe Mommy to Jax

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    Sorry BellaBlu...my OH is the same...I can't talk to him about anything to do with TTC so I just write my thoughts down in my TTC journal and to you lovely ladies! I wish he would be more enthusiastic, but at least I have BnB!
     
  7. BellaBlu

    BellaBlu Lovin' my boys :)

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    Wish they were all more enthusiastic! But good to know I'm not alone, I agree, BnB is a lifesaver.. or at least a sanity saver. Can't believe I didn't find this place sooner :hugs: .. Merry Christmas girls.. xx
     
  8. 2016

    2016 Mummy and Preggo with #2!

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    Must have been something in the water! Had a similar argument with DH last night which ended up with him saying he doesn't he wants a baby with me anymore and wouldn't like to bring up a child that's anything like me AND I would be a horrible mother!

    Triple OUCH!

    :cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry:

    No apologies yet and I doubt I will get one!
     
  9. Lamburai1703

    Lamburai1703 Finally a mummy!

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    Men are so peculiar at times! I think the problem lies in the fact that the inside of their heads resembles the inside of a pork pie, whereas we have complex emotional, clever girly brains. Its not their fault. We should feel sorry for them really! Here's hoping he can start talking "when" with you. Good luck!
     
  10. mrshuse8pound

    mrshuse8pound Well-Known Member

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    My DH is VERY insensitive to the TTC issues at hand. He doesn't mean to be, that's just his ummmm "pleasant personality" so we don't discuss babies or TTC at all. Mostly because I shut down on him after 2 years and now facing IVF....I can't handle his little comments at times. Especially when he told me how he TRULY felt about IVF, which was not very encouraging at all. He, like your husband I'm sure, don't mean what they say sometimes but they do hurt us, especially those of us who are trying with other issues or have been trying for years. It gets hard! And then God forbide it turns out that HE's the one with the fertility issues, then all of a sudden it's a wake-up call.

    The best thing to do is to let it go. I know it's hard but with all the stress that goes along with TTC, the last thing you need is meaningless and pointless arguements from an individual who is not a woman and will never truly understand what we go through. I'm so glad he apologized though...and maybe now he will understand a little better just how much his words can hurt.
     
  11. mrshuse8pound

    mrshuse8pound Well-Known Member

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    :saywhat:



    Oh HOW DARE HE!

    I'd better just keep my big mouth shut!!!! :growlmad:

    Sorry he said that to you! :hugs:
     
  12. BellaBlu

    BellaBlu Lovin' my boys :)

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    2016, that's awful honey :( I can't believe he said that! That had to have really stung, I hope you get a well deserved apology soon sweetie. And Lamburai1703 I'm going to have to agree and say we SHOULD feel sorry for them sometimes. We are pretty complex :) Thanks for the laugh! Although pork pie could even bit a bit too much credit at times.."lol'ing" only joking. Mrshuse8pound, I'm learning to let it go :) a little at a time, but like you say.. stressful situations don't make it easy...Sincerely hoping you get your BFP soon hon :hugs:. As long as we all stick together, we'll get through this journey with BFPs and BFsmiles on our faces! Hope every single one of you ladies had a wonderful christmas...
     
  13. mrshuse8pound

    mrshuse8pound Well-Known Member

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    Bella...I had a wonderful Christmas I hope you and yours did too. And I didn't meant to come off too forward but I honestly feel like, yea the Men or Mates may not understand what we are going through all the time, but it doesn't always kill them to ASK some things before they fly off making assumptions. In relationships both parties have to work at communicating the things that are important to them, their dreams and goals and that means the MEN too...sometimes gotta step their game up! But I'm glad everything is good for you too and glad you feel better and I toast to everyone on BnB getting their :bfp:'s in 2010!!!!!
     
  14. BellaBlu

    BellaBlu Lovin' my boys :)

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    Mrshuse- IMO there is no such thing as too forward :flower: I agree 100%, I truly think that is why they have such a problem with having conversations about it, because in all honesty, most men don't know how complex the process can actually be! Regardless of what some men think, not everyone can get pregnant the first time they try, although that would be AWESOME for some of us! DH just doesn't think it should be so hard.. Since when did sex become a chore? Lol.. :D & Thanks about Xmas, it was alright! Wish I could have been back in the states with family, but hubby and I enjoyed ourselves anyways. && I'll toast to that! :)
     
  15. MrsJ08

    MrsJ08 Well-Known Member

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    Honestly men!!!!

    My DH swings from trying to be really understanding about it one minute to being a complete arse the next. Yesterday because it was Christmas he was really sweet about it. My Step-sister has a 2 year old and is expecting another next year and he know's I'm finding it difficult especially as they spent Christmas with my Dad. Nobody in my family know's we are TTC and my Dad talks about my step-sister's daughter all the time. I find that kind of difficult because I wish I could give him a grandchild of his own. During Christmas dinner (we stayed home alone) my DH was very reassuring, telling me it will happen etc. Later when Gavin and Stacey was on tv, hey were talking about TTC he could see I was getting upset and was reassuring again so I felt really positive. Earlier in the day he said "oh you are probably pregnant already" I explained to him that there was no way I was and that I was fertile at the moment (due to OV tomorrow although think I might have done late last night). Despite everything he said yesterday when I raised it today he said he couldn't remember what we discussed and seemingly has absolutely no interest in BD last night or today. Honestly I could strangle him!!!!!!!!!!!! I've been really moody with him tonight because I just can't face raising it again. I know sulking won't help but I'm so angry I think it would be dangerous to discuss it today. It's like he just says whatever I want to hear at the time but doesn't mean a word of it.

    Sorry for the essay I just wanted to show that although my experience isn't the same there are similarities so I can understand how everyone else is feeling.

    Hope you all get your :bfp: very soon.
     
  16. BellaBlu

    BellaBlu Lovin' my boys :)

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    MrsJO8-
    =\ I can completely understand being upset, I would be too.. As screwed up as it is, my husband ADMITS that he says the things he knows I want to hear alot of the time, to avoid conflict! I think most men are like that, to lighten the atmosphere for the time being.. I dont think they realize the emotional severity it has on us. Men are so different when it comes to emotions, etc.. It completely amazes me. How can one extra extending body part, and testosterone make so much of a difference on the thought process? Eesh. :) Don't apologize for the essay.. That's what we're here for.. vent away! Hoping that your day gets better.. and maybe you can convince him to BD and have "angry sex"... It's a win win.. right? Lol. :hugs:
     
  17. lynbetz

    lynbetz Member

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    Sounds like my husband... must be a military thing
     
  18. goddess25

    goddess25 Well-Known Member

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    Unfortunately that is the difference between us. Men just dont get how obsessed we can be about something and how you want to talk about something that has not happened yet. My DH was the same last time, i was so excited talking about names and the birth and all sorts of details before i even got pregnant because as women thats what we do. he just could not see the point of these conversations until it happened.

    I am glad your partner apologised to you though that was nice. Hope he is a wee bit more understanding now. Men sure are peculiar.
     
  19. fifi-folle

    fifi-folle C (7/11) & C (10/12)

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    i think because we are the ones who have the baby inside of us it is much more real than for men. My DH refused to get excited when I had bean spotted on ultrasound, he said he would get excited when it was past the point of m/c, as it turns out he was right to, he was the strong one when I m/c'd.
    Also the arguments are prob caused by the stress and pressure of ttc on them! We forget that men are affected too when we don't get pregnant, every period is like a slap in the face for their virility, even if they don't admit it.
     
  20. ablacketer

    ablacketer Just Call Me Angel :)

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    my DH loses patience with me and he is also one that says he will "get excited when it happens" I keep getting told IM trying too hard! HA!
     

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