Need a moan - sorry

[Amy_K]

I'm having a really rubbish day today. Hubby woke our daughter up at 7am this morning when he slammed the front door on his way to work and I was hoping for an extra hour or so the get the day started at my own pace. No luck.

On top of that I've been in pain more or less all day with a nasty attack of hemorrhoids (sorry tmi!) which just makes me worry about how I'll feel after the birth when its all painful down there.

I've been short and tearful with everyone and shouted at our daughter when she picked up my glasses and wouldn't give them back. I haven't been able to do anything off the pre-baby to do list.

I'm also finding to hard to stay optimistic about going into labour naturally. I was so convinced that it would all happen naturally last time and was gutted to have to be induced. On bad days, like today, I just think 'What's the point - I'll end up having to go into hospital to be induced anyway'. None of my family, especially my in-laws, grasp why a home birth is so important to me and would be delighted if I had to go into hospital again.

I'm not naturally maternal and I really wonder how I'll cope with the new baby, our 2 year old and the post-birth pain. I had PND last time, which I partially put down to the hospital birth and immediate peroid afterwards, and I just really don't want to go down that path again.

Sorry for the moan

 

[Bournefree]

Hey Moan away all you like.
Huge hugs to you - You are doing really well. It's horrible when things start to get you all down.. and it can feel like it is all coming at once.
I have had that horrible feeling after telling off my daughter, when she hadn't really deserved it. then felt so guilty.. but it's normal to get to your wits end, every now and then and esp when you are uncomfortable and in pain too!

So sending you a big Hug XxX

 

[Mervs Mum]

Oh it's fine and totally normal to feel like you do! Just read LouLou's thread about feeling scared etc after she passed her due date and now (just 48hrs after she posted!) she's got her baby and had a wonderful, smooth, easy labour! Keep the faith sweetie x

 

[Jenniflower]

Oh Amy! I'm so glad you decided to moan to us though. Sometimes it helps just getting it all out. Other people may not understand why it's so important but it's not for them to understand. They weren't you when you felt out of control while you were induced last time. You're making this decision for you and for your baby that's all that matters. And if you need reassurance or you need to feel normal that what you come to us for. We're all "our of our minds" like you.

I hope you do stay positive though that bubs will come when they're meant to. And I know you may not have had the best induction story but I've just recently been reading loads of birth stories of women who have had to go in for an induction and still managed an amazing natural birth. Just remember that this time around no matter what happens you are more in control and much more educated than last time. You call the shots hun.

 

[PeanutBean]

Wow you sound just like me! Except I didn't get PND though my mum would argue I've had it ever since... It's a little thing, but despite not being entirely sure I could when preg I used boots own bum cream after a few days of dicky tummy and suffering quite a bit like you! I had no problem after they first cleared up after the birth but suddenly they've been on and off recently. Stupid pregnancy. I also have eternal pruritis. I find that on to of all these huge important things about the labour these relatively minor niggles can really tip me over the edge!

So moan away! I for one feel totally the same about all of it and I bet we're not alone.

 

[Amy_K]

Thanks everyone Hubby's come home now and taken over everything and even brought some witch hazel for my bum I've had a little cry, which has done wonders too.

I'm doing 'My baby knows the perfect time to be born' affirmations, RLT, EPO, fresh pineaple etc so hopefully things will fall into place in the nest 4 weeks


(Also I found out today that a woman 14 doors down had a home birth last year - the things you learn!)