I can completely relate. I have a daughter who's a little over 2 years old and we're also going into our 4th month of TTC baby #2. It took us 5 months to conceive our 1st, so we weren't expecting it to be immediate, but I'm already feeling pretty down.
I think I had my hopes up too high that maybe it would happen quicker this time around and it's really disappointing that it didn't happen. While it may not be the majority, it still seems like SO many people have surprise pregnancies or get pregnant on the first or second try. I guess I have to accept the fact that I'm not one of those people and I have to wait a bit.
What makes it almost more frustrating, is the fact that I have incredibly regular cycles but nothing to show for it. My O signs (cramping and EWCM) are textbook and right on time every month. We use OPKs and have managed to perfectly time things for the past 3 months (BDing 1 day before +OPK, as well as the
day of and
day after +OPK). So, we usually BD 3 days in a row during my peak fertile time. I feel O cramps every time, we also use Pre-Seed and Soft Cups afterward, and yet still...BFN
DH and I are both relatively healthy (though, we could both stand to lose about 20 pounds and exercise much more regularly). We eat fairly well and take our vitamins. Neither of us smoke or drink. I barely have one small cup of coffee per day. I do need to drink a lot more water and get more sleep, though. I've started doing fertility yoga in an attempt to de-stress. I'm also considering acupuncture in the near future (I already see a chiropractor about once a month). I even tried some fertility herbs last month but that obviously didn't make a difference. It makes me think that it will just happen when it's supposed to happen, regardless of everything I do. In the meantime, I'm just trying to be healthy and relax as best I can.
Lately, I've had a bad feeling that it's just not going to happen or that it's going to be a very long road ahead. I almost feel like I'll never experience that exciting, "I'm pregnant!" moment again. When you see so many BFNs, it's hard to imagine a BFP. Sometimes I worry that God is trying to tell DH and I that we waited too long and that we should have been open to a second child sooner.
Maybe we're going to be waiting a long time while we learn our lesson
I'm trying to stay positive and trust in God but it can be hard to have faith month after month. Granted, it really hasn't been long at all in the grand scheme of things and I'm very blessed to already have one healthy child, but it still hurts.
Personally, it seems like forever since I was pregnant and had a newborn. If we conceive very soon, our children will be about 3 years apart (which
is what we wanted) but I definitely have baby fever since it's been over two years since I had a little baby. I so badly want to experience pregnancy again. It doesn't help matters that I'm approaching 30 and tons of women I know are currently pregnant or just had a baby.
When I'm feeling sad or discouraged, I really try to distract myself with other things (the holidays are actually helping right now) and spend time being thankful for all that I have. But there are days when I really want a little sibling for my daughter and it can be hard. Regardless, I personally believe that God has a plan and knows what's best for our family. The waiting is tough but I can only take it one day at a time and try my best to be positive and grateful for the beautiful child that I already have.
I just realized I wrote a book (sorry!) Wishing you all the best in your TTC journey and hope you get your BFP very soon!!
