Need advice re sleep - nightmare baby!!

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by iwanta8a8y, Jan 29, 2011.

  1. iwanta8a8y

    iwanta8a8y TTC #3 ;-)

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    Hi everyone,

    I am posting not about my baby but about my sisters and would love to give her some advice from other people as we (the family) seem to have exausted all suggestions and nothing seems to work

    Ollie is 20 weeks old and has never been a good sleeper, we thought it was something that he would grow out of but it is not getting any better!!

    He will only sleep beetween 45 mins and 2 hours at night - wont sleep in the day more than half an hour (maybe three times if my sister is lucky).

    She has tried giving him a dummy, not giving him a dummy, swaddling, not swaddling, in a sleeping bag, not in sleeping bag, white noise, tummy sleeping, back sleeping - everything we can think of and there is nothing that she can do to get him to sleep.

    HOWEVER - the most annoying thing is that Ollie WILL sleep for my mum (his grandma), when my mum has had him he has slept through the night at hers, and when she last had him, so my sister could get a nights sleep, she looked after him at my sisters house and he slept 5.5 hours...

    why will he sleep for my mum but not for my sister. My poor sister is getting no sleep and is getting so down about it, we dont know what to suggest to her now...

    Hopefully someone out there has been through something similar and can shed some light on why this might be happening.

    ANY HELP WOULD BE FANTASTIC PLEASE GUYS :hugs: XX
     
  2. jenkins

    jenkins Well-Known Member

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    Just a thought but could it be that your sister tends to baby too quickly ie when you or mum had him you may not have jumped as quick to him and he settled himself?

    sorry i'm not more help :flower:
     
  3. a_c

    a_c mummy to one

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    Your mum must be doing something different to your sister sounds like you need to pin point that.
     
  4. iwanta8a8y

    iwanta8a8y TTC #3 ;-)

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    Thanks for your message, no she only goes in once crying, not when she hears a sound, i asked her this this morning, so i asked my mum too when she went to him and it was the same, only when he starts to cry...

    Quote a_c - Your mum must be doing something different to your sister sounds like you need to pin point that.


    We thought this too, but we have gone through it soooo many times and tried to recreate it but looks like they are doing everything the same, litterally the only difference is that it is someone else...

    Do you think possibly it could be seperation anxiety (sp) - but surely if it was this then he would not go down for my mum either as he is still seperated from my sister...?!?!
     
  5. stardust599

    stardust599 Well-Known Member

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    The best £10 I ever spent was on the sleep book from this website www.babysleepanswers.co.uk. You get free membership to the forum for one-to-one advice from sleep experts. HIGHLY recommended. (For info I used the method PUPDCD) xx
     
  6. Tink2312

    Tink2312 Well-Known Member

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    I had a discussion with my mum and partner about this the other day, my OH thinks grandparents are a calming influence, which would be a logical answer, especially if this is your sisters first..... our own parents have been there done that so they are naturally more relaxed even if you think you've adapted well you still wont be as experienced.... plus if your sister is dealing with this everyday to an extent she's bound to have feelings of aprehension, frustration, confusion etc before she even picks LO up, perhaps he's picking up on these vibes? (incidentlyI think anyone would feel like that it would be a normal reaction not trying to say your sister is wrong or anything!)
    not much help in how to overcome it I'm afraid but would think that could be the difference....
     
  7. iwanta8a8y

    iwanta8a8y TTC #3 ;-)

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    Thanks so this worked for you then. I think she will try anything now...

    She does have a good routine with him, bath, bottle in a dark quiet room, then bed,

    Its just weird how he will sleep for my mum and not for my sister...
     
  8. stardust599

    stardust599 Well-Known Member

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    Yeah it worked for me. We used it after Macy's sleep habits were horrendous as she has really been bothered by reflux and a milk allergy although it's been medicated and she's on the mend now we still had awful sleep. She was waking every 30minutes all night every night for her dummy and I was struggling to get her to sleep in the first place.

    I like the fact that it has different methods to suit each parenting method - gentle/no cry, minimal crying, controlled crying etc. and whichever you choose you'll be fully supported and advised by a mentor, they'll also help you out if you want to adapt any of the methods to suit you and if you break down everything you do to them they can let you know exactly where you're going wrong, it's a bit like having a cyber-super-nappy lol (sorry I sound like I work there!). I've been posting everyday and have got great support (I was going to give up taking away Macy's dummy but they kept encouraging me to persevere and I can't thank them enough for it as that's 5days now and you'd never know she ever had one).

    Your Mum must be doing something different though. Maybe your sister is stressed out and anxious when she puts him to bed as she's always expecting it to be a bad night and he picks up on this and it makes him unsettled? xxx
     
  9. starangel27

    starangel27 Well-Known Member

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    hi

    our little boy was like this and the only difference was at my mums house they had pitch black room and we always kept a small lamp on in bedroom. Once we tried that he was a totally diff sleeper and he can now sleep up to 10 soild hours a night the once we forgot to pull the blackout blind down and he knew he had a terrable night sleep.
     
  10. sjminimac

    sjminimac Well-Known Member

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    is it the temp of the room? Xx
     
  11. kaylz

    kaylz Well-Known Member

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    Is she breastfeeding? If so, he could be smelling her milk if she's putting him down or if they are sleeping in the same room. I daren't turn over in bed at nights in case my milk smell 'wafts' towards my LO - guaranteed to wake him up! I second the poster who suggested joining the baby sleep answers forum. I'm a member and they're really helpful
     
  12. Pixxie

    Pixxie Mum to 1 little girl

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    I'd say it's either your sisters stress, the temperature or smell of milk if breastfeeding.

    I think the sleep forum sounds like a good idea too xx
     
  13. iwanta8a8y

    iwanta8a8y TTC #3 ;-)

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    we thought this at first as my mum is having work done at her house so it is colder at the moment, however mum has had him at my sisters now so we sould see if it was to do with their house, but he slept for my mum their too, in his usual environment. It really is a strainge one.

    I think you could be right Tink2312 - about him picking up on my sisters aprehension, frustration etc

    Just really feel for her. My LO isnt a great sleeper, but he sleeps much more than my sister and i know how i feel some days with tiredness etc. Must be so hard for her
     
  14. iwanta8a8y

    iwanta8a8y TTC #3 ;-)

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    No, she is FF - good thinking, but cant be that. Thanks for the second recommendation for the sleep answers forum, i have passed the details on to her so she is going to look into that.
     
  15. Peardrop

    Peardrop Well-Known Member

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    I third babysleepanswers. The expert advice is great.
     

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