need help!! exhausted parents lol

[TwinMommy6]

So my little guy is 5 months old. He has co-slept with us since birth (i know we did this to ourselves) now the problem is he HATES his crib and his bedroom. He thinks our bed is his bed. I try putting him in there for naps and at night...i try letting him cry it out. I will go in every say 5 min to calm him down without picking him up but this only infuriates him more. I end up giving in after say 20 min because im worried im hurting him.
Anyone else been in my position...any advice would be sooooo appreciated!

 

[mummytobe_93]

Hmm I would say you need to make the transition a lot slower and try and make his cot seem like a more positive place for him. Have you tried lying him in his cot and playing games in there? Reading books? Etc just so when you put him in there he won't start crying straight away and instantly think of it as a horrible place.

I would say transitioning him first for nap times and then bed time would be best and a lot slower. Do you have any sort of nap routine or bed time routine?
For example I look out for sleepy cues in my daughter until she's rubbing her eyes but input her down before she gets too over tired, I put her in her cot with a bottle and some music on so she knows it's sleepy time.
And for bed time we do tea, bath, book, bottle, cuddles then bed and also put music on.

It will take a while but he will get there it's a completely new scary place. Also is his cot in your room or in his own? Just because if you're moving him in to his own room it's a massive change so you could put cot in your room so he knows you're both still there so it isn't a massive change x

 

[nikkchikk]

I breastfed, so we utilized a bassinet that connected to the bed for the first few months which was wonderful. Then I dried up so we switched to formula. at that point we would let her fall asleep after a bottle in bed with us, and then move her to her crib once she was good and asleep. She still woke for late feedings, but seemed to settle when placed back in her crib.

 

[JessesGirl29]

I moved my son around that time, you haven't made a rod for your own back, it's okay! It took me about a month to be honest and I tried to make it as stress free for both of us as possible.
I started up a solid night time routine including a bath. I would take my son in to his room and breastfeed him while rocking in our rocking chair. At first it wasn't easy, I would have to rock and bounce him and really wage battle that I wasn't leaving that room until he was asleep. In the beginning I would say "I'm just going to try" and if it didn't work out to the point that I was mentally or physically exhausted I would give in and put him to bed in our bed by cosleeping. Slowly it did get better. The first time I was able to transfer him to the crib while he stayed asleep (the hard part) I felt like I won the lottery! Now at almost ten months he eats, bath, bed, rock/breastfeed and when he's lightly asleep I stand up and transfer him, he sighs and rolls over and goes to sleep.

It's so worth it, stick with it and don't give up. Routine routine routine. Things that helped included having a t-shirt of mine in his crib under the crib sheet to lay him on (do at your own risk, I just think our beds are so comfy and their crib mattresses are hard), and using a blow dryer that then turned in to a white noise machine that helps.

Don't give up!

 

[TwinMommy6]

What i left out is we have been doing this gradually for a month now. And we do play in there as you mentioned..oh its just going to take time

 

[Sarah lo]

We co-slept most nights until LO was about 5-6 months but DH and I weren't getting much sleep so we decided we needed to get him sleeping in his own cot. I started by ensuring that every night he started off in his own bed and then allowed him to come into our bed after his first waking. After a week or so I started returning him to his cot after his first waking and let him into our bed after his second waking. I carried on with this until eventually we got to the point where he only gets into our bed for the last hour before we get up in the morning.

In fact, I'm actually now finding that he prefers his own bed. nowadays if he has a bad night and I attempt to let him into our bed at, say 2am, by 2:30 he's crying to go back to his own bed and when I put him in it he goes out like a light - so a complete turn around from where we were 3 months ago!

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

If you are happy co sleeping why not carry on? Xx

 

[Literati_Love]

Following for ideas! :/ I can never get my baby down anywhere once she's asleep so it gives me hope that at some point some babies might get used to it?

 

[TwinMommy6]

I am no longer happy co-sleeping. I love him to death but i really just want to be able to sleep beside dh and just us again.
We had a docs apt today and we talked about the sleeping and he is such a firm believer of the cry it out method. He said the longer we wait the harder it becomes because he now has separation anxiety and the older he gets he will have more energy and cry longer haha.
I never had this problem with my twins mind you they slept in the same crib together. Until they were moving.
I don't know how I feel about the CIO method...i have never done it and i don't think i am emotionally prepared for that. Has anyone else attempted this? And it has been successful...and how many grey hairs did it give you? Hahaha

 

[mummytobe_93]

You could try controlled crying when he is 6 months. Controlled crying isn't very nice to be honest but controlled crying shows your baby you're still there for reassurance and will be easier on both of you x

 

[Misscalais]

Please don't let him cio. It really isn't meant for babies under 6 months anyway. Have you got a swaddle or something with your smell on it that he can sleep with. My Ds likes to cuddle muslin wraps lol

 

[irish_cob]

With CIO the baby ends up in a state of learned helplessness. They are upset, scared, fearful, they don't know why you won't come. Their anxiety levels are sky high. Crying is their way of communicating. If your best friend was crying her heart out would you walk away and shut the door and ignore her? The baby stops crying because he knows it's pointless and no one will come but the baby's cortisol level remains sky high (anxiety hormone) and they learn they are helpless and alone. Not very nice. And certainly not to be done before 6 months if you have to do it at all.

 

[TwinMommy6]

I'm definitely not letting him CIO

 

[Lyana]

Don't let him cio, i tried with my daughter and only made things worse.
What has been working is whats called "gradual retreat" method. She's been sleeping in her crib since she was 3 months old, but I used this to help her fall asleep without nursing.
It's been the only thing that's helped the nightly battle at bedtime. It was rough the first couple nights but got way easier after that. Trust me, i tried everything else and it only resulted in a clingy, upset baby and me pulling my hair out.
If you're interested google it.