need some advice about my pregnant girlfriend and her emotions =(

[needadvice87]

hi im just wondering is it normal for a pregnant woman to loose all feelings for her partner while pregnant? i just dont know what to do to make things better, i would do anything for her she really is the love of my life but since being pregnant she dosent seem to want me around at all. all physical contact is non exsistant and all she keeps saying is she needs space, keeps snaping at me for stupid reasons and just seems to be irritated by me this has all been going on since a week before we found out she was going to have a baby, she is 7 weeks gone. it makes me so sad to think that maybe she dosent love me anymore and im really scared about what is going to happen. i do try to give her alot of space but i want to enjoy the pregnancy with her and not be shoved aside i just want to be fully apart of what is happening and be there for her anyway i can. i know its not all her fault i can be a little clingy at times but i love her and dont know what to do for the best and need to know if this could be to do with her hormones or if it is she just dosent love me anymore =( if anyone could give me some advice i would be so greatfull. thank you

 

[Ew68j5]

I'm sure she loves you....its the hormones. I've been murder to live with for the last few weeks, I don't mean it. She may also be a little freaked out if its your first, our pregnancy was very much wanted but I did feel a bit weird about it when it actually happened, "what have we done!", its such a life changing thing....she will come round, just try and be there for her when she needs you and don't take it personally.

 

[needadvice87]

thank you. it my first but her third she has two from a past relationship. i just dont know she just seems to really not want me, but cant bring herself to end things with me i really do hope you are right though and it is just her hormones because i really dont want to loose her it really would rip my world apart =(. do you know how long i should expect this to last if it is just pregnancy hormones?

 

[Ew68j5]

I dont know, but I know my husband will be hoping its not long. I think after 12/13 weeks once the placenta takes over the handling of the hormones you start to feel more normal. Give her a few weeks and try talking to her, its valentine's day coming up - a perfect excuse to spoil her!

 

[needadvice87]

thank you so much =) that gives me some hope atleast. its just weird i mean she was talking about moving in together and getting married only a few weeks ago and now she can barely stan to be in a room with me for 10 mins. im not going to give up but its just hard being treated like this when i havent really done anything wrong apart from give her what she wanted, a baby. i mean she seems really happy with the fact she is preagnant i just sometimes get the feeling she would rather be doing it with somone else instead of me i know im more than likely being stupid but i cant help but think that. im going to keep my fingers crossed that this is going to get better and she will get back to her old beautiful loving self again, i miss her so much =(.
do alot of guys experence this sort of thing during pregnancy?

 

[scots_mum]

Since i got pregnant i cant stand my hubby being near me, everything irritates me and i think he smells funny (he dosnt its just my over active nose) we havnt dtd in nearly 4 weeks and i know hes probably thinking the worst but i love him to bits just at the moment feel like i need room not feeling particularly like anyone touching me lol

 

[cliqmo]

Im afraid to say my husband is my emotional punchbag at the minute too! Although I see it in myself and make amends wherever possible top tip for today is NOT to call her hormonal whilst she is shouting at you

 

[gmh]

you sound like my partner!! in fact, i would have thought u were him except im further along!! like the other ladies said, its just hormones, not about u at all!!!

 

[needadvice87]

yea that sounds verry similer to whats going on with my girlfriend, so do you think i would be just be better to back off for a while? im just worried that if i dont spend any time with her she will just start to not want me anymore and i dont want that to happen. i just want to be able to make her happy and give her everything she wants in life and be a family together.

 

[needadvice87]

do any of you know if it is possible that she could just stay like this and not get feelings for me back?

 

[cliqmo]

Im afraid your damned if you do and damned if you dont, as neither feeling suffocated or abandoned will work. Just keep being your lovely self and try to remember its only for a short while

 

[wannabenewmum]

Have you actually asked her whats up. It is most likely hormones, but maybe it would be good to see if she wants to chat. Although us pregnant women are strange my husband went to get fish the other from chip shop.i said if it was too crunchy get me nothing so he did. I went mad(really didnt mean it. And he rightly pointed out if he got crunchy fish I too would be mad) sometime you just cant win best of luck hun.

 

[Bumpontherun]

My husband really annoyed me last time I was pregnant. I started feeling sick around 5 weeks and that lasted until about 20 weeks. I didn't want to be touched, certainly didn't want to have sex and like someone else said I didn't even like the smell of him. I also felt weird about him going anywhere near my boobs. I wasn't sleeping well and he just seemed really needy and clingy (although I don't think he'd really changed at all, it was all me) when I just wanted to be left alone. It's not nearly as bad this time, maybe because we both know what to expect and maybe also because we have our little girl to focus on too.

I think you really need to back off and let your girlfriend work through this in her own time. Obviously we can't say for sure that she still wants to be with you but the way she is behaving sounds very familiar. Give her as much space as she needs, if she's not being too unreasonable then cater to her whims but don't allow yourself to be her punch bag! If you're not living together and she's not wanting to spend the night together then I would let her have her space (I would love a couple of nights alone in our bed at the moment). To be honest I wasn't myself throughout most of my last pregnancy. It doesn't mean she doesn't love you she just has a new focus at the moment. Good luck, I hope it all works out for you

 

[needadvice87]

=) thank you so much i will try, its just so hard to stay positive when im getting told that she isent in love with me anymore but dosent seem to end our relationship i just want things to go back to normal and be able to make her smile again like i used to. i really dont think she understands how much she really means to me =/

 

[allaboard]

Oh i think i am your girlfriend! Are you actually my fella doing some stealth posting on here?! Look, trust me - it's her hormones. She probably can't be doing with you right now, but you have to relax and not bite or be defensive because she's not able to help or control how she feels. Especially if like me she has a child from a previous relationship and has spent some time as a single mum - being pregnant makes you feel very very vulnerable and want to run away, so as much as you try to help her, she may well have issues from previous pregnancy experiences that intrude in this one whether you like it or not.

It's not about you, even though you feel like it is, you are actually jsut the whipping boy, so the more you fuss and worry and stress you'll push her away. Be there, be calm, be supportive and firm about how you're going to be there for her and the baby however much grief she gives you. That reassurance and unconditional love and support will carry you through. When she comes to 4/5 months i promise her moods will seems less egg-shell like. She'll still be narky, but not like she is now.

I also can't bare my fella at the moment, the plans we had together are the furthest from me mind, i don't fancy sex or him (i love and like him but you know), and last night i was a picky irritiable wench with him. I know it's hormones because i had it with my first son and my ex couldn't handle it and see the longer term picture, and we fell apart in the pregnancy early on. I also had a couple of miscarriages last year and true to form, my moods started up as well as my dislike for my boyfriend and anything physical with him too. His breath smelt rank last night and kissing makes me want to vom actually. And i dont even have morning sickness, just a sensitive everything!

It's normal, ride it out and relax - one of you needs to be and right now she's having to deal with a whole range of emotions and feelings and hormones that make life feel a bit tough at the moment. Play the longer game, it'll be worth every sexless day living with a hormonal irrational monster, i promise!

Oh and to add, i told my boyfriend last time (the miscarriages) that i didn't love him and wanted to split. This time he knows to expect that, in fact that was the only reason he was worried about having his first baby with me and getting pregnant this time as i totally pushed him away!

 

[needadvice87]

i have indeed tryed on may occations to talk to her about things but that really dosent get me anywhere i just end up getting snapped at =/ im just going to try and give her more space its just hard when i love being around her i dont even mind being her emotional punch bag. what i dont understand is we have been together for just about a year and she wanted to have a baby with me why would she do that if she dident love me, do you think it is just possible that she just wanted a baby? and now she has one im no longer needed =(

 

[Bumpontherun]

Oh i think i am your girlfriend! Are you actually my fella doing some stealth posting on here?! Look, trust me - it's her hormones. She probably can't be doing with you right now, but you have to relax and not bite or be defensive because she's not able to help or control how she feels. Especially if like me she has a child from a previous relationship and has spent some time as a single mum - being pregnant makes you feel very very vulnerable and want to run away, so as much as you try to help her, she may well have issues from previous pregnancy experiences that intrude in this one whether you like it or not.

It's not about you, even though you feel like it is, you are actually jsut the whipping boy, so the more you fuss and worry and stress you'll push her away. Be there, be calm, be supportive and firm about how you're going to be there for her and the baby however much grief she gives you. That reassurance and unconditional love and support will carry you through. When she comes to 4/5 months i promise her moods will seems less egg-shell like. She'll still be narky, but not like she is now.

I also can't bare my fella at the moment, the plans we had together are the furthest from me mind, i don't fancy sex or him (i love and like him but you know), and last night i was a picky irritiable wench with him. I know it's hormones because i had it with my first son and my ex couldn't handle it and see the longer term picture, and we fell apart in the pregnancy early on. I also had a couple of miscarriages last year and true to form, my moods started up as well as my dislike for my boyfriend and anything physical with him too. His breath smelt rank last night and kissing makes me want to vom actually. And i dont even have morning sickness, just a sensitive everything!

It's normal, ride it out and relax - one of you needs to be and right now she's having to deal with a whole range of emotions and feelings and hormones that make like feel a bit tough at the moment. Play the longer game, it'll be worth every sexless day living with a hormonal irrational monster, i promise!

^^^ WSS

I think pregnancy can be really tough even for the strongest relationships.

 

[AndreaBat]

She's vulnerable .. she's on edge .. she has changes going on in her body that she has no control over and I know how she feels so here is my advice .. dont put her under pressure .. give her as much space as she wants but be there for her as a friend more than a boyfriend .. i know its hard but that is what she needs .. I have the most amazing b/f .. wouldnt change him for the world but right now I actually get irritated when he comes near me .. sex is a NO NO .. cant even manage a proper kiss without thinking 'hurry up' .. its the hormones .. give her space she needs it. Good luck.

 

[allaboard]

i have indeed tryed on may occations to talk to her about things but that really dosent get me anywhere i just end up getting snapped at =/ im just going to try and give her more space its just hard when i love being around her i dont even mind being her emotional punch bag. what i dont understand is we have been together for just about a year and she wanted to have a baby with me why would she do that if she dident love me, do you think it is just possible that she just wanted a baby? and now she has one im no longer needed =(

You need to stop thinking stuff like that - she's just not herself right now so don't judge her on it. Pregnancy puts great emotional strain and physical strain on a woman at a time they need a strong committed partner, not one who feels like that about her. I know you love her and mean well, but what an insult If she knew you believed that, i can bet my life on it she would be very very upset and you'd make her even more distant. Please, put thought like that WELL out of they way, it'll eat into you relationship like cancer.

 

[needadvice87]

all i do is reasure her that im not going anywhere, i do anything she asks me even if that means walking to a shop at stupid o'clock to get anything she is craving and i help with her two boys as much as i can. the lack of sex is not even a problem i know she feels pretty rubbish at the moment and its not as if i need it on a dayly bases. i just really want her to understan how im am feeling as well but if i try talking about it, it seems to make things a little worse so i have just given up on that. i agree with you ladies its kind of a no win situation. i guess all i can do is make the best of it i just hope she gets better soon.