need some words of wisdom - sleep issues

[maisiemoo]

Olivia has never slept through. At 8 months, she will not settle in her cot until I come to bed ( we then co sleep), which means our entire evening is spent either holding, rocking, feeding or comforting her until I eventually come to bed. Subsequently, my oh and I spend very little time together. Doing this night after night is also very tiring. Olivia used to feed every couple to three hours, which I can deal with. However for the last few weeks, she is having stints of waking every 30 to 45 min and it can often take an hour or more to get her back to sleep. It's worth mentioning that she is teething. Anyways, i'm exhausted and feel completely drained. Im doing stupid, careless things as I can't think straight and my oh are beginning to have some pretty serious arguements does anyone have any suggestions on how I can improve this situation? I can appreciate that I need to ride the teething element out, but im not convinced this can all be entirely attributed to teething. Anyways, I hope im making sense as im typing this on phone

 

[fluffpuffin]

sorry you're having difficulties with her sleep. that must be really tough. I can empathise, as Isla was very much like this until nearly 6 months - needing to be rocked / swayed for hours, then would wake up several times and it would take ages to get her back to sleep. for us the only thing that worked was controlled crying -I understand that's a route some parents are not comfortable with, so if you're one of them just ignore my post . we did it quite gently though - going back to comfort after short intervals - 3 minutes, then 5 minutes and kept it at app. 5 minutes. it only took 20 minutes for her to go to sleep the first night - I was sooo shocked. then it got quicker each time. I think what I hadn't realised was that she didn't actually want the rocking / swaying anymore, as it was getting harder and harder to get her to sleep this way...often we were there for hours and had no time to ourselves in the evening. she was ready to self-settle. maybe your LO is the same?? does she fall asleep easily and quickly when rocked?

 

[fluffpuffin]

PS: obviously I wouldn't even attpemt cc with a teething baby. I'd wait until she was over that first.

 

[Kate&Lucas]

Would you not consider removing the cot altogether? She's probably fussy because she knows she doesn't sleep there, you know?
Lucas and I co-sleep, but only due to lack of space where we're currently living, so once he's asleep the only option is to put him in my bed 'til I go up. He sleeps fine in there for hours and will take his naps in our bed.

With regards to her waking up I'm not sure - does she wear a teething necklace?

 

[freckleonear]

It's so tiring isn't it? I didn't want to use any kind of crying with Tabitha so I've been very gradually making changes to help her sleep better (see link in my sig!). It's taken about a month so far and her sleep really improved last week, but she's gone back to waking regularly again so I think she may be teething.

Could you introduce another sleep cue? Perhaps a little cuddly blanket or something. If you can get her used to that alongside your current methods, after a while you might be able to rely more on that and less on rocking/feeding.

Have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley? It's got lots of good suggestions in it. Her removal plan for feeding to sleep suggests that when baby is almost asleep you remove the breast from their mouth and apply gentle pressure under their chin with your finger. If they protest you give the breast back and try again a few seconds later, until eventually (apparently!) the baby falls asleep without feeding.

 

[maisiemoo]

I think what I hadn't realised was that she didn't actually want the rocking / swaying anymore, as it was getting harder and harder to get her to sleep this way...often we were there for hours and had no time to ourselves in the evening. she was ready to self-settle. maybe your LO is the same?? does she fall asleep easily and quickly when rocked?

This is exactly what's happening. She pushes herself away from our chests and will babble away, laugh, pull hair etc even feeding doesn't guarantee sleep, infact i'm convinced she's ever doing it on the feeding as sometimes she will be sick (she's not a sicky baby at all!)

My oh has thrown cc into the option pot, but in all honesty it doesn't sit well with me. However, the sleep deprivation is beginning to have a negative impact on our relationship and my brain (crikey i sound dramatic lol), so it's not something we will dismiss either. I suppose I want to exhaust other options first

 

[maisiemoo]

Would you not consider removing the cot altogether? She's probably fussy because she knows she doesn't sleep there, you know?
Lucas and I co-sleep, but only due to lack of space where we're currently living, so once he's asleep the only option is to put him in my bed 'til I go up. He sleeps fine in there for hours and will take his naps in our bed.

With regards to her waking up I'm not sure - does she wear a teething necklace?

I can see how this could be an issue. The only problem is, we're due to move towards the end of feb and my oh would like to move olivia into her own room, putting an end to co-sleeping (my partner currently sleeps in the spare room as work becomes bit of struggle without his sleep).

Olivia has worn her teething necklace since around 4 months

 

[maisiemoo]

It's so tiring isn't it? I didn't want to use any kind of crying with Tabitha so I've been very gradually making changes to help her sleep better (see link in my sig!). It's taken about a month so far and her sleep really improved last week, but she's gone back to waking regularly again so I think she may be teething.

Could you introduce another sleep cue? Perhaps a little cuddly blanket or something. If you can get her used to that alongside your current methods, after a while you might be able to rely more on that and less on rocking/feeding.

Have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley? It's got lots of good suggestions in it. Her removal plan for feeding to sleep suggests that when baby is almost asleep you remove the breast from their mouth and apply gentle pressure under their chin with your finger. If they protest you give the breast back and try again a few seconds later, until eventually (apparently!) the baby falls asleep without feeding.

She does have a cuddley blanket, so can certainly give that I go and thank you for the book recommendation too, it sounds really interesting!

 

[BunMum]

Its my first post on this board, hello!

My son was exactly the same, he is 12 months old and still hasn't slept through the night. I used to feed him to sleep in our bed then move him to his cot once he was fast asleep and he would be up every 2 hours at least. It was exhausting and I felt like I was going mad. I bought Pantleys No Cry Sleep Solution as I also can't do the crying thing - too upsetting. Theres some really good tips for all different problems.

The things that really helped us were pulling him off the boob when almost asleep and reattaching etc til he slept. I also fed him to sleep in his own room then when he'd gone to sleep I put him in his cot. This helped him sleep 3 hours without waking.

Now the first waking of the night I shush and pat until he goes back to sleep. Sometimes this works if I get there fast enough before he's properly awake, other times I have to settle him back by putting him on the boob. The second waking in the night he comes in with us until morning and we all seem to be getting a decent amount of sleep.

I'm carrying on breastfeeding until he learns to fall asleep on his own, but I'm not sure that'll appen anytime soon.

Hope you get some sleep soon.

 

[fluffpuffin]

I think what I hadn't realised was that she didn't actually want the rocking / swaying anymore, as it was getting harder and harder to get her to sleep this way...often we were there for hours and had no time to ourselves in the evening. she was ready to self-settle. maybe your LO is the same?? does she fall asleep easily and quickly when rocked?

This is exactly what's happening. She pushes herself away from our chests and will babble away, laugh, pull hair etc even feeding doesn't guarantee sleep, infact i'm convinced she's ever doing it on the feeding as sometimes she will be sick (she's not a sicky baby at all!)

My oh has thrown cc into the option pot, but in all honesty it doesn't sit well with me. However, the sleep deprivation is beginning to have a negative impact on our relationship and my brain (crikey i sound dramatic lol), so it's not something we will dismiss either. I suppose I want to exhaust other options first

of course, I understand - cc is not for everyone . she might settle better though if rather than rocking her you put her down and pat her back and shush her but stay in the room with her. sometimes I think picking up/putting down methods can cause a lot of upheaval and prevent them going to sleep - so maybe comforting her but keeping her in the cot might help? also I ditto having some kind of sleep toy - I have a toy in Isla's cot and she knows when I put it next to her that means sleepytime