Need support for controlled crying

[karaclarke93]

Currently listening to my 6 month old screaming at the top of his lungs on his first night doing controlled crying .

He cried for about an hour at 6.30pm when I first put him down for his sleep and slept through until 11.30 and he’s been screaming ever since . I’ve been going in every 10/15 mins to place my hand on his tummy and shush him gently and he’s calm as soon as he sees me but starts screaming when I leave .

I live in a tiny flat so worried neighbours will start complaining as his screaming is piercing 🙉

 

[yazzy]

Please pick him up and cuddle him. Controlled crying is really not good for any child especially one so young. Have a read about why it is not recommended.
Imagine if even as an adult you were upset and no-one came to ask how you are and comfort you, then think of a baby who is crying because they need you and no-one comes. They shut down and learn not to bother crying anymore.
I hope you got through the night and are feeling better today.

 

[karaclarke93]

I went in every 5 minutes and rubbed his tummy don’t worry he didn’t think he was abandoned or anything.

Fact is controlled crying does work and did work for my 6 year old daughter when she was younger. I was looking for support as I do struggle doing controlled crying but I definately believe in it otherwise I wouldn’t commit to it xx

 

[jessmke]

I think what the PP was trying to point out is that controlled crying may work in the sense that they learn not to bother crying, but studies have shown that the baby's stress hormones are elevated to the same degree as babies who are crying out. Meaning that the baby is just as stressed and upset as the babies who are crying, they have just learned that crying doesn't work to get them whatever it is they are needing (comfort, food, etc) so they don't bother crying. So I guess it "works" if your goal is to have a baby that is quiet through the night, but it doesn't necessarily work if you want a baby who is quiet as a result of being happy and content. 6 months old is very young for any kind of sleep training, many "sleep experts" these days are recommending not starting formal sleep training until baby is older, sometimes not until they are 1 year old because many people are finding that they have to continually re-train their babies as they go through various developmental stages. At the end of the day you are his mother and it is totally up to you what you want to do with him, but just a heads up I haven't personally seen much support on this forum for people who are doing sleep training with such a young baby so you might not get a ton of responses. Sounds like you guys got through the tough night, hopefully things continue to improve for you!

 

[Symphony7]

Pm me if you want the name of an excellent sleep training Facebook group. They helped so much with any method you want to use. There is no judgement for sleep training there.

I had a non sleeper from 3 months on. It had gotten so bad one morning after she wouldn't sleep all night I left her in the crib, got in my car and drove away. I was going absolutely insane from the lack of sleep. Came back after driving once around the block but the anxiety and depression had taken over me from months of not sleeping. I tried every "gentle" method imaginable. It was only getting worse. So I did full extinction at 10 months after unsuccessfully doing controlled crying at 6 months. She now refuses to even let me rock her to sleep, she demands to be put in her crib so she can stretch out and go to sleep on her own. She sleeps through the night and takes two 2 Hour naps. I don't believe for a second she learned just not to cry, she still cries if something is wrong.
She got her foot stuck in the bars of the crib and cried for that, but I knew immediately there was a problem because she never cries now just because she doesn't want to be in her crib or go to sleep at her sleep times. She absolutely did before, she would wake in the night and only sleep if I held her in the rocker. Clearly I couldn't do that all night every night. You have to sleep too. So don't feel shame for using a method different than others to teach your baby to sleep. And if you need help, definitely check out that Fb group because like I said there's so much information and no shaming for the choice you make.

 

[karaclarke93]

That’s great I definately will do thank you for your help and no judgement.

I’ve done thorough research before choosing to sleep train my child and he is absolutely spoilt with love and attention so I’m not worried about my son feeling upset or neglected.

Could you pm me group name xx