need to get my life back.... but how?

[chelsea1978]

firstly, this is a much wanted and planned baby and i wouldnt change being pregnant for the world.

but since finding out 12 weeks ago, my life has been incredibly hard as i suffer from anxiety disorder and am unmedicated now cos of the pregnancy, im terrified of losing the baby so am being over cautious about everything.

currently, im afraid to drive my car much because im worried about having an accident and the seatbelt pulling on the baby. i also hate goin along bumpy roads. so im hardly able to go anywhere at the moment.

im afraid to colour my hair, put fake tan on, get my nails done or get waxing done, all things that used to make me feel better. so i feel very unattractive.

im scared to have sex, and i used to have a high sex drive. im desperate to get back on track with that but again im afraid, the few times ive had sex since becoming pregnant ive panicked afterwards waiting for something to go wrong.

i dont like going out in public as im worried about breathing in other peoples cigarette smoke

i cant even relax when i lie down or sit down somewhere, ive started to move and get up in an un natural way as im worried about hurting or twisting my stomach

everything in my life right now feels un natural and pre planned, and i can no longer relax and be me. i feel like a shadow of who i used to be.

i know alot of the things im worried about are not harmful and im being irrational but my anxiety is so bad that if i do these things i will torture myself afterwards.

how can i have another 5/6 months of this? ive spoken to my dr about goin back on my meds but have decided against it due to possible risks to the baby

im not expecting anyone to have answers, i just needed to rant really, i have no one else to talk to

 

[gemabee]

council could help maybe?
there are a few women on here on meds for anxiety so maybe its worth givin them another thought??
xx

 

[Pippasdvision]

I have suffered from depression on and off with paranoia. Though I do not understand totally what oyu are going through I do a little. I find talking to my husband really helps though he is not good with emotions he does help me see things more logically. Rant all oyu need get it out we can not make it any better but we can give oyu support and acceptance we all have our issues

 

[MrsEngland]

Aww hun, i think as time goes on maybe the anxiety will get less. I know that i used to wake up and panic that i was laid on my tummy when i first found out (i'm too big to sleep on my tummy now!) and i'd spend all day worrying that something would go wrong or i'd panic coz i didn't 'feel' pregnant. I think its so hard when its such a wanted baby and as a mum your so protective of them before you've even felt them move.
I don't think the worry will ever stop now that we're mothers but you can certainly get over the complete panic and not doing things that you would do every day.
All i think you can do is do it and when you see that baby is still fine and growing well it will get easier the next time you do. If not it may be worth seeking out a councillor who maybe to help.

 

[milamummy]

I suffer from severe anxiety and panic disorder and my doc has kept me on a 'if really needed basis' with my meds..he figured that the stress would also be bad for the baby and I also wouldnt be able to do much or go anywhere as I also suffer from agoraphobia which is only managed by my meds. You will be told however not to take anything at all in the last 8 weeks but if its really crippling you then go and see your doc. If you ever need to talk then PM me

 

[Hannaaisha]

I worry about everything you mentioned too so I think its normal as long as you don't let it take over your life. If you find that it is maybe you could find a distraction from these things so you don't have time to think about them too much. You could try hypnotherapy to relax yourself, have a massage or long relaxing bath when you feel anxious. & remember that a lot of people have done all the things you are worried about and gone on to have a perfectly healthy baby.

 

[TattooedMama]

Buspar is a medication for anxiety that is widely used for pregnancy here in the US. I have anxiety and I had only started my meds a month or so before getting pregnant. My husband and I have decided that with all the extra pregnancy hormones that it was best for me to stay on the meds. I will have to wean off them when I get to 3rd trimester but I'm ok with that. I think it would really help you to get a few pregnancy books and read them front to back. I know what you mean about having thoughts, knowing they are irrational but still find yourself unable to control them and not worry. I think if you read some good pregnancy books that having all that knowledge of what really can and can't affect you will help you relax quite a bit. Great Expectations is a great book that I love and written by midvives/dr's I believe so it is very medically sound. Good Luck honey, millions of hugs as I know how terrible it is to feel like you live every day terrified of so many things none of which you can control

 

[Faffalina]

Hi there... I have had hynotherapy for panic disorder and found it is really helpful - perhaps give it a go? It takes a few sessions to start working but really has helped x

 

[Tanikit]

Sorry you are going to have to go through this.

Firstly this will not sound helpful, but realise that your life will never go back to what it was before. Having a baby is an enormous change and there is a lot to worry about - and once the child is born there is even more to be anxious about. But that being said you have more control once the baby is born and as you learn how to cope you grow in confidence and things have a way of working out.

In some ways it is the same in pregnancy - what you worry about in the first trimester changes and you start worrying about other things. The anxiety is still there, but it changes - I remember being scared of going over speed bumps with my first - as the baby gets bigger it becomes a smaller worry - then you worry about kicks and growth and labour and so on.

First pregnancies are also more scary than second and third ones because it is all new - next time you would know what your first survived and be a bit more calm about it, but for now its all new.

Try and find a spot where you can be calm - in the bath (that is not too hot) is often good, or in bed alone at night and lie and dream - think about what you want and what you wish for and do not allow anything negative in there. Then chat to your baby about the positive - tell him/her how you like having him/her with you, what you hope for and the great things they will enjoy when born. Sing to him/her if necessary as this is also calming. Another time you could perhaps tell your baby what scares you, but try and keep that for a totally separate time and try not to do it too often. Focus on the positive as much as you can - its hard and it is not a cure all, but it does help some.

 

[chelsea1978]

thank u to u all, u are all so lovely and i wil try some of the suggestions

 

[below zero]

Hi Chelsea,

I'm so sorry to hear. Maybe try little steps, things you just dare to do without getting overly anxious. Go out to places where you can sit outside, a wrong breath won't kill the baby. Manicure the nails, even if you don't want to color them. There's options with sex too, I'm sure something will cross your mind... I had a miscarriage last year, and though I don't have anxiety disorder, I have a friend who does and I can also relate to the worrying. It will get better, esp. once you feel the baby moving, so hang on there