Need to vent--hubby is just .

[calm81]

a pain in my butt.

I hope I don't get into any trouble posting a negative post, but I need to vent about my hubby.

My last pregnancy, my husbands' family were so "obsessively" involved with my pregnancy and my husband was on cloud 9. His family even went to my gender reveal ultrasound. My mom and his mom were playfully arguing over who was throwing the baby shower. SO much excitement surrounding that pregnancy. My husband wanted to go to every appointment and stared at the ultrasound photos constantly. Even though he was a Johnny Raincloud at the appointments--he was interested in the pregnancy.

Flash forward to this pregnancy.

We've known for about 5 weeks now that we're expecting and none of his family members seem to care, when we called to tell everyone, we got,"oh really that's nice." That was it. I haven't heard much since. That's all fine and dandy, my concern is my husband's lack of excitement--he wanted us to try for another baby!

He didn't come with me to my first appointment and that was fine with me, he didn't go to my 9 week scan that didn't bother me. The issue I have is that I texted him,"babe, they gave me a CD of the baby--we have a bunch of pictures." he replied,"Wow cool." He came home from work and didn't ask to see the pics. Later on in the evening he saw the CD on the kitchen counter and said,"Is this the CD from the doctor?" I said yes and he said."oh! Show me later,k?" with no excitement in his voice.

Hours later he never brought up the pictures. This morning he never brought up the pictures. I will not remind him again.

The pictures are so cute, baby has it's legs and hands and 167 heart beat. It's not just a bunch of cells anymore.

He's been like this since we found out I was pregnant. NO EXCITEMENT. I feel like this new baby is getting shafted because "it's" old news. Just considered "another baby." I'm the one that has to bring up the baby otherwise we would never speak about the fact I'M PREGNANT.

Maybe once my bump starts showing or the pictures show a bigger baby, but come on….we all know what the 9 week scan looks like (I'm assuming we all know…sorry) and know seeing the pics are worth it.

Thanks for the vent.

 

[HopingCarter]

I know exactly how you feel (on both the family's and hubby's standpoint)For most women, Calm, no one will ever be as excited as you are! I know this is your second (or at least it sounds like the second), but it's always exciting to be pregnant. To form life, in my opinion, is a miracle and blessing, and no matter how long or how many times or how many women have kids, it's still something to be in awe about, but some people just don't see it that way because pregnancy is so common. I'm only working on #1, but even if I was working on #5, I would still be on I'm sure of it.
Now, men would never understand that feeling b/c they don't have that sensational thing going on in their bodies. They just don't get it, and you can't blame them (although we do anyway hehe). I feel like as long as us mothers are excited, and appreciative of the given opportunity, that's all that matters. I'm sure he's excited for having another baby since he asked for it, just as my hubby did, but it's just not the way we would like it to be. Plus, we're super sensitive, so anything out of the ordinary with the hubby pisses us off, I'm the SAME way. Just hang it there, you're baby's gonna feel that excitement and positive energy from you, and you'll have a happy lo.

 

[misscyn]

I can somewhat relate to your husband because I kind of feel the same way. With my first baby I was on cloud 9. I was constantly googling images of what my baby looked like at a certain number of weeks, I had a nickname for her when I was just a few weeks pregnant, I would imagine what it was going to look like, etc. And that was a surprise pregnancy! This pregnancy was very much planned and desired, but I just don't feel super excited. Maybe it's because I'm really sick, but then again I was even more sick with my first pregnancy. Honestly I think there is just something really special about the first. Also, right now I'm super busy marveling at my 4 year old, I just don't have time to obsess about the one I'm carrying. I'm sure I will love my second as much as I do my first, it's just that until it actually arrives my focus is on the child I already have, if that makes any sense.
Anyway I do understand your frustration, but I don't think your husband's reaction is anything to worry about. I'm sure he'll be completely crazy about your new baby once it's born.

 

[calm81]

I know exactly how you feel (on both the family's and hubby's standpoint)For most women, Calm, no one will ever be as excited as you are! I know this is your second (or at least it sounds like the second), but it's always exciting to be pregnant. To form life, in my opinion, is a miracle and blessing, and no matter how long or how many times or how many women have kids, it's still something to be in awe about, but some people just don't see it that way because pregnancy is so common. I'm only working on #1, but even if I was working on #5, I would still be on I'm sure of it.
Now, men would never understand that feeling b/c they don't have that sensational thing going on in their bodies. They just don't get it, and you can't blame them (although we do anyway hehe). I feel like as long as us mothers are excited, and appreciative of the given opportunity, that's all that matters. I'm sure he's excited for having another baby since he asked for it, just as my hubby did, but it's just not the way we would like it to be. Plus, we're super sensitive, so anything out of the ordinary with the hubby pisses us off, I'm the SAME way. Just hang it there, you're baby's gonna feel that excitement and positive energy from you, and you'll have a happy lo.

Thank you for understanding and this will be my 3rd child, haha--also the last. Since it will be my last I want to cherish every moment of the pregnancy. Thanks again.

I can somewhat relate to your husband because I kind of feel the same way. With my first baby I was on cloud 9. I was constantly googling images of what my baby looked like at a certain number of weeks, I had a nickname for her when I was just a few weeks pregnant, I would imagine what it was going to look like, etc. And that was a surprise pregnancy! This pregnancy was very much planned and desired, but I just don't feel super excited. Maybe it's because I'm really sick, but then again I was even more sick with my first pregnancy. Honestly I think there is just something really special about the first. Also, right now I'm super busy marveling at my 4 year old, I just don't have time to obsess about the one I'm carrying. I'm sure I will love my second as much as I do my first, it's just that until it actually arrives my focus is on the child I already have, if that makes any sense.
Anyway I do understand your frustration, but I don't think your husband's reaction is anything to worry about. I'm sure he'll be completely crazy about your new baby once it's born.

Thanks for sharing your side. I guess it makes sense. I'm too busy taking care of my 2.5 year old and my oldest daughter to completely focus on this pregnancy as much as I did before, I was just hoping he'd like to at least look at the sonogram pictures. Thanks again for sharing your inout--you ladies are great here!!

 

[swampmaiden]

I heard a funny joke by a pregnant lady.... she said her husband was actually just greeeeaat during her pregnancy, couldnt really complain, maybe just a couple things... 1. everything he did and 2. everything he said lol

 

[northern_me]

I'm getting this same reaction from everyone. Nobody seems to care or be excited.

 

[calm81]

Two days later and he hasn't asked to see the sonogram pictures, his loss not mine.

Last night he had too much to drink and spent the night saying hurtful things to me. I'm feeling pretty low today.

 

[northern_me]

Oh no Definitely not what you need to be dealing with!!

 

[aknqtpie]

Have you talked with him about how you are feeling? (while he is sober?). My late husband use to say hurtful things while drinking, so it is never fun, and I am sorry you are having to deal with that.

I have found that men can be ignorant of things that are going on in their own home. I think that maybe telling him you aren't feeling the love, and want more excitement, he might step it up. I wonder if there is something else going on that is stressing him out?

 

[calm81]

Have you talked with him about how you are feeling? (while he is sober?). My late husband use to say hurtful things while drinking, so it is never fun, and I am sorry you are having to deal with that.

I have found that men can be ignorant of things that are going on in their own home. I think that maybe telling him you aren't feeling the love, and want more excitement, he might step it up. I wonder if there is something else going on that is stressing him out?

He apologized yesterday, but doesn't remember saying any of it, and I only filled him on a few things said because I could tell he was feeling pretty down on himself for saying such mean things--so I let a few things to myself to spare anymore guilt for him. He definitely looked sorry and apology was sincere--I got a foot rub out of it.

He still hasn't asked to see the pics, but I'm going to let that go. I'm sure he will be more excited to see the pics when more features of our baby start to form, because right now it's just a small baby just beginning to sprout hands and feet.

If he doesn't show excitement when the baby starts looking like a "real" baby I will bop him on the head with a frying pan.

………..KIDDING.