Need to vent.

[eppgirl]

DH absolutely refuses to believe I'm pregnant. He has done this with every single pregnancy.

It's driving me up the wall, I want to talk to him about the baby and about the appointment I have coming up and my worries since I had a mmc in April and two CP since then, but he won't hear nothing of it. He just keeps saying you're not. And I say I am to which he responds no you are not. 😭

 

[cathgibbs]

Has he seen any of the positive tests? I know my DH didn't believe me at first because the line was V faint x

 

[eppgirl]

Yes he's seen them all. He seen the line immediately even on the very very faint ones and said nope not believing it.

 

[Tui]

Could it be his way of dealing with your losses? Protecting himself maybe?

 

[eppgirl]

I'm not sure, he told me he doesn't believe I've had the losses either. That hurt, a lot more than this.
He's been very harsh about everything. Keeps telling me my baby is not a baby at this point and he wouldn't care if something did happen to it and that he actually preferred something too.... 😭😭😭😭

 

[Wobbles]

Ouch ! I think you need to sit him down and let him know how hurtful his comments are.

It's hard to comment too much as I don't know your personally to have an idea of your relationship but I would definitely be having words if that was me and not very nice ones.

What an awful thing to say to someone you love

 

[Talia12]

That's very strange, what does he think the tests mean if not that you're pregnant?

 

[AmberR]

Perhaps it is his way of protecting himself from the pain of another loss? No matter what I would have a conversation with him explaining how hurtful his comments have been and to figure out what is going on in his head! It seems men have a very different way of processing losses. I hope you are able to have a conversation about this and are able to express your feelings. Hugs!!

 

[cathgibbs]

Oh hun!!! I totally get that he might be doing it as his way of protecting himself from any further heartache but the way he is speaking to you is out of order. to say he doesn't believe that you have had losses etc? That is not nice! I agree with sitting him down and letting him now that his words are hurtful (and to tell him he is being a massive dick to you right now!). You need him to be supportive not be harsh x

I hope you're ok? x

 

[oliv]

I'm so sorry he's acting like this!! It must be so hurtful for you, how could he say he wouldn't care if something happened.

Were you ttc??

 

[eppgirl]

Yes, after my most recent chemical pregnancy we sat down and talked about it and decided to start trying. He started panicking, but kept trying and then when I got the bfp I think it just hit him that oh shit we're gonna have another baby. He processes things really weird. He gets like really mad, then he goes into the denial phase, acceptance, and finally if it's good news he'll get happy.
He's also just really worried about me since I had pre e in both of my pregnancies.

 

[cathgibbs]

Its very understandable why he is worried.... Men do show their emotions in some very weird ways but he needs to realise that how he is behaving to you right now is not very nice. Sit him down and have a chat with him love and tell him how he is making you feel and ask him to open up a bit to you and tell you his concerns etc? x

 

[ReadynWaiting]

Maybe have him read how things work from conception forward? Cells are living organisms whether there is a heartbeat or not. Pregnancy does not begin when you look pregnant or at 12 weeks when you see baby on the u/s.
Regardless of why he's acting the way he is it's unacceptable to treat your partner in the manner that he is. We all have our moments but using your 'big boy/girl words are way more useful than projecting in to someone.

 

[HopefulB]

Oh I am sorry hun but I can understand a little of what you are going through. My husband did not believe I was pregnant either. We had been trying for a while and had IVF appointment booked both had our tests done etc but when I had a positive pregnancy test you would think we were 16 and I had just tricked him into having a baby with me Once he saw the scan he started to believe it and although its taken another 5 weeks he is finally back to normal. It did take me telling him how hurtful he was being (I did snap a few times too but that just ended in an argument which didn't really resolve anything). My advice would be to say to your OH please don't say these hurtful things to me its not fair, then just give him some time after the scan he will start to come to terms with having another baby, The fact you had pre-e will also be scaring him as you are important to him and some men just struggle to express those feelings so they act like silly boys (in my experience) Congratulations on your exciting news xx