Need Validation :(

[docmom]

Hello Ladies-

I am nearing the end of my 2WW and I have been following posts for 5 months now, hoping that the feedback others are getting will help alleviate my unreasonable fears and concerns about getting pregnant at 35 years of age. I really appreciate the support you offer one another.I have never tried to get pregnant before until the past 2 cycles. For some reason, I have this irrational belief that i will struggle with pregnancy when I truly have no evidence of that. I know its all in my head, but I am still scared. I wasn't ready to have kids earlier because of school and having intense life goals. Now that I am almost done and just turned 35, its like the the panic set in. I know I have time, but somewhere in my head I keep saying "your too old and so is DH". My periods are pretty regular and my cycles seem to be 29-30 days. I started tracking my ovulation and cycle and found that I ovulated on CD17 in April. I understand that my period comes approximately 14 days after O day...so that means this Friday I would be due for AF. My hope is that I miss my period and get pregnant. Not sure if I am doing things right...but I have got to stop obsessing over this. I mean its only been like two months. I am finishing up my clinical training and I find my mind wandering when I am with my patients. I cry, I have been feelings depressed and I feel like why did I wait. But I know that the time wasn't right then. I just need confirmation and support through this anxiety and am hoping to find it here. I feel like I timed it right this month....but I just don't know. I really just need to stop obsessing and joining this forum is the only thing I could think of that might help. Ugh....wish my anxiety would just go away.

Here is the run down-
AF-April 1
started testing for O on 4/8 and had a very light lh surge (nothing significant)
BD'd on April 14 in AM
BD'd on April 17th in the AM (*I got my first smiley with CB that evening)
O: Got my first O smiley on CD17 (April 17-smiley day) at 8:00pm. I started getting O pains that day around 3:00p.
BD'd again on April 19 in wee hours of morning

 

[terripeachy]

Well, as a girl that's over 35, there's nothing you can do about your age at this point. So...keep trying and see what happens. Tell your OBGYN that you're ready to have babies and he/she will make recommendations. if it doesn't happen after a while, consider going to see a specialist. For now, just try naturally and see what happens. You could be starting at age 50, and then you'd probably be in a world of hurt. 35 isn't that old in the grand scheme of things, so try to remain calm, and let nature run it's course. I know, easier said than done, but worrying certainly isn't going to help.

 

[docmom]

Thanks for responding. I will try to keep my cool. Its like all my friends are over the age of 37/38 and are conceiving so I know its possible. Funny you mention the OB/GYN...because I have an appointment on Monday. I think you are right...I am going to try naturally first and see how that goes.

 

[Mississippi03]

I think you are an amazing person for doing what was right for you at the time and waiting. Not too many people take that into consideration these days, and you have to think that now that it is the right time, means you are ready and more able to provide the time that a child will need.

Reality is, it might not happen right away. That is life. I thought it would, and here I am cycle four and still hasn't happened.. But that doesn't mean it wont... And it doesn't mean you wont feel depressed and alone every month when you get a bfn. Because trust me, thats how I feel. But you jump back on the wagon, or dh if we are being literal, and try again the next month. There is an amazing group of woman on here and many of them are super supportive. But dont think the forum will make you any less obsessed.. You just have some people to talk to about the craziness we all endure ttc.. And that will validate that you aren't alone.

Two tips, start temping.. Its the only way to confirm if you are actually ovulating. And relax, i know it is easier said then done.. But this process becomes mechanical far too quick, and it is difficult to bring the love back into it once you have started letting go of it.

Best of luck on your ttc journey and babydust to you.

Btw, also expecting af on friday. I have a journal, you can find me there for support !
https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/ttc-journals/2166077-mississippi-wants-her-little-miss-mister.html

 

[AliBiz]

I was you 3 years ago..... I'm now 39 with a beautiful healthy little girl who will be 2 in August, I concieved her after 6 months trying , when I was 36,sailed through pregnancy and gave birth to her after 6 hours labour, at 37, only issue we had was she wasn't engaged when I went into labour so had to be born via Ventouse but it was just alittle blip.....now she is a lively, independent crazy little thing, and we are ttc #2, at this stage I would be at least 40 for next time....

Try to put your mind at rest and relax, age is an issue if you see it that way

Baby dust to you x

 

[docmom]

I appreciate your encouragement and reassurance. I hope that it doesn't take me too long. I will try to relax, but it is hard. I have been obsessing all day and getting mad at myself for not doing this sooner. Some days are better than others, but today is particularly an obsessive day. It feels good to hear that you got pregnant after trying 6months! I will definately get a Basal therm to determine precisely when i am ovulating. Keeping my fingers crossed that AF takes a hike this Friday! Thanks you thank you thank you for your feedback.

 

[tlk71411]

While I'm a bit younger I just want to offer encouragement. TTC is exhausting. Whether its your first or fifth, 1 cycle or 200th...its exasperating. We ttc our second for 6 months before I got prego only to MC now a year later we are trying again. I think because so many start having babies so young these days society puts out the notion that its soooo difficult after 30. Dint let that get you down! but these forums are wonderful. I have other ladies to vent to, offer encouragement and learn from. I've learned sooooo much on here! GL and baby dust

 

[docmom]

thanks so much for the encouragement! I really appreciate it. I do have another question for everyone here that has come up for me...Hope this doesn't make me sound stupid but here it is...

so I think I ovulated on CD17 or CD18, not sure because I got the smiley at 8 pm on CD17 and the next day I tested and the smiley was gone! I got my period on 4/1 so i thought my period would be due 4/28. Well, I am two days late now. However does ovulating on CD 17 or 18 change my expected period due date? How should I calculate when my period is due?

 

[Mom2sam]

Hi just wanted to say 35 is not too old. My sis conceived her third at 35 & gave birth to a healthy baby. Another freind conceived at 35 & gave birth to a healthy baby too. I knw lots of women who have conceived under 40! Me personally at 23 started ttc & took 5 years had him at 28 after 5 years second time round started trying at 35 last year & conceived in second cycle i mc at 8 weeks but not due to age was because of severe hyperemesis. Now i'm stil 35 & this is my third cycle. Going onto fourth. as long as you & dh have no underlying fertilty issues i'd try naturally like your doing with using opks & getting in lots of bd coming upto & during fertile week possibly every other day. If still doesnt work i beleive at 35 after 6 months of trying alone u can talk to doc. Anyway hope it happens before that good luck hun & try not to stress also lots of tips on here you could try like smep puts your chances up from the usual 20% every cycle to 40%. Also trying preseed or conceive plus around your fertile days worked for me both times x

 

[Mrs. Burch]

docmom-your cycle length is usually the same every month. However if you did O late then your lp is usually 14 days so 14 days after your O day would be when AF should arrive. So if you O'd on the 18th then af should be here by Sat the 3rd. Good luck and baby dust. I would try to bd everyday 3day before O to 1 day after O just to make sure you caught the egg. I am sure you know that sperm can live up to 5 days once inside. Hope this helps and good luck to you!!

 

[docmom]

Thanks for clarifying about cycle length and LP. I hope sat comes and goes without AF!!