• Welcome back! The Xenforo Cloud migration is now complete. Thank you for your patience! NOTE: please make sure to report any issues to our Technical Support forum and we'll review ASAP.

Needing Affirmation

wheelz23

Well-Known Member
Joined
Dec 19, 2016
Messages
154
Reaction score
1
Hello ladies!
I am 4w4d... and yes. I know, it's early! People keep mentioning this to me, however I don't think it would make miscarriage hurt any less. How do I stop freaking out about miscarriage? I'm 23 years old, healthy, and I am having totally normal pregnancy symptoms. My husband is 23 as well and healthy. Occasional mild cramping, exhaustion, etc. I have taken a pregnancy test every morning, and there are dark lines. What are my odds of miscarriage? I read a statistic that said 50%-70% of first pregnancies will end in MC... what reassuring odds. What can I do to stop worrying so much? I find myself going to the bathroom to check for blood sometimes. I am so excited to be pregnant, and we want to announce it for Christmas to our families, but I'm so terrified I'm going to lose it.
Thanks!
 
Hi there! This is the best advice I've received about stressing during pregnancy: practically all future miscarriages are predetermined at conception (BEFORE that exciting positive test). So if a miscarriage is going to happen, there's nothing you couldve done to cause it. I say "practically all" cause certain traumatic events (like a bad car accident) can also cause a miscarriage.

Personally this is what I do: I focus on loving my children as long as they are with me, or I am with them. I have one child and one on the way. My priviledge and joy is to love them as much as our mutual lives will allow. The sober truth is we can lose our loved ones at any time... There are mothers on this board that have lost their children in 2nd or 3rd tri, at birth, within days of birth etc... I've drawn so much strength and courage from how much they LOVED their children - even beyond death, they still love. It's amazing.

So overcome your fears with love, sister. Love that little one as long as you have her/him. I wish you a healthy pregnancy :)
 
I think being online in forums is hard, because you see so much miscarriage. I always have to tell myself, you will see way more online, because when people start having symptoms they come to online communities for help/support. Try not to worry. I have had 3 totally healthy pregnancies with 0 miscarriages. I do worry about miscarriage all the time, and I have horrid nightmares that I wake up in pools of blood... I know it is scary and it is a huge fear, but just try to focus on other things. I find that trying not to even think about being pregnant and just going about my day as normal really helps, at least until the symptoms kick in
 
thank you both! very true. I think we will tell our families at Christmas, just because we were given the gift of life and it should be celebrated! Whether it's 2 weeks of knowing or 9 months, we already love the baby. Worth being happy over! I need to remember the odds are more likely that I will have a healthy pregnancy. If not, the next one hopefully will go better.

Yikes to the online forums, you are so right about that.
 
I 100% agree with the above. Remember these forums are very skewed to people who've experienced loss and difficultly conceiving. Around 20% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage overall. 70-80% of those 20% happen in the first trimester. So the odds are much more favourable than you think. You have an 80% chance of no miscarriage at all.

Congratulations to you, try to enjoy your early pregnancy as much as you can! Before the symptoms kick in!
 
Thank you!!!! I haven't had all that many symptoms, just sheer exhaustion. I can only imagine how bad it's going to get. :) Bring on the symptoms!
 
Definitely true about the forums. Probably over half the signatures I see on here say something about miscarriage :( as well as it being sad, it's very scary. I was really worried about it (frequently checking for blood like you) with my first pregnancy, and again with this one. But I read someone else on here saying: this is the only time you'll be pregnant with this particular baby, no matter how long it's for, so enjoy it. Also, I spend a lot of my time in another country where the culture is different, and there is no taboo on announcing pregnancies before 12 weeks. I stick to that British (and American, I guess, and others) "tradition" because yes the miscarriage risk does drop off greatly after the first tri, but basically my point is that women announce their pregnancies at 5, 6, 7 weeks - all the time! It doesn't occur to them to worry about miscarriage like it does with us. They don't have access to the information and forums that we do, which are a blessing and a curse. Although they know that miscarriage is possible and happens of course, they see it as something far less likely than we do, because they're not seeing lots of other women who've lost babies grouped together in one place.
 
Thank you for sharing this! I had no idea. I feel like America has such a stigma that even if you have a miscarriage, it's not okay to talk about. We feel guilty for having one, and through the tough time feel like we can't tell people. Yes there are risks. I've been using datayze miscarriage odds reassurer and every day watching it go down helps. I can't stand when people tell me "oh you're only four weeks, so much can happen" I am now 4w5d. Hopefully the baby is growing just as perfect as can be. Am I terrified of miscarriage? Sure. But I need to stay positive and realize no bad symptoms are a good thing!
 
I think us worrying about miscarriage is the start of us bonding with our baby to be. It's perfectly natural to worry and trust me it does get easier!!
 
I have never known about that miscarriage reassurer. That is AWESOME! Probably my new favorite tool.
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Members online

Forum statistics

Threads
1,650,189
Messages
27,141,080
Members
255,672
Latest member
mummynugs
Back
Top
monitoring_string = "c48fb0faa520c8dfff8c4deab485d3d2"