Negative reactions to your announcement

[MEPride]

It baffles me that someone would think it acceptable to publicly give a negative reaction to someone else's pregnancy.

I'm not angry. This person has a personal history that, in a way, justifies her feelings but not her actions.

I officially announced on Facebook yesterday. Something simple... just posted the ultrasound pic as my profile pic. I know quite a few people who are incapable of having children or are having trouble so I really didn't want to do anything elaborate to respect their difficulties. But still wanted to let friends afar know that I'm pregnant.

This particular friend didn't comment or send me a private message but instead posted a public post saying how terrible I was to do such a thing.... how inconsiderate it was... and that she was going to unfollow me. Well... she didn't think it through because of course I saw it since I still follow her. I sent her a private message. In short telling her I didn't do it to harm her personally and that I am empathetic to her situation, but that her actions were baffling to me. I wouldn't apologize for something good happening in my life.

As I said, I'm not mad or upset. Just baffled.



Anyone else have negative reactions from their announcements?

 

[misspriss]

Oh yes, although not as public.

My MIL said that we were "unfit parents", and this would be "unfair to DS" (what does that make DD?).

 

[misspriss]

Other reactions have been more lukewarm, tepid, almost no genuinely happy reactions. However even my sister who is infertile and tried for like 8 years before resigning from TTC managed to congratulate me and was one of the most kind reactions I got.

However, she was downright nasty on facebook when I was pregnant with DD, but not directed at me I had not told anyone yet. She has never made any personal attacks on my pregnancies.

 

[MEPride]

Oh yikes, misspriss. In many ways I feel like that worse. Family saying something like that is truly disheartening. Your LO will be loved regardless!! I'm sorry your MIL said that.

 

[3boys]

this will be baby no.8 so people don't react nicely at all. I don't bother with announcements anymore I just tell the people closest to me and let everyone else work it out for themselves lol

 

[dan-o]

Yeah I didn't even tell my in laws just over 2 months before giving birth last time, even then it was my hubby who finally relented.
Was met with 'oh dear' type reactions and they haven't been sympathetic at all regarding my losses either! It's bizarre! Why would you say oh dear? To a pregnancy announcement??

 

[MEPride]

My sister has no desire to have children. That's her choice. But every year she an I go on a short trip together. Her reaction to my pregnancy was tepid. You could tell she wanted to be happy and she congratulated me, but you could also see she was upset because her last adventure buddy (all her friends have kids) is now gone. I think, without putting words in her mouth, she feels a bit left out in a way because she doesn't want kids or to get married and everyone she knows either already has kids or is pregnant/getting married.

 

[pinkmonki]

My husbands family are.. precious. They only had him, and so believe we're being entirely irresponsible by having more. We've already decided we simply won't be announcing this time. I figure people will ask eventually and I'll just privately tell those we want to.

 

[MEPride]

Oh goodness, 3boys. Each pregnancy is a miracle and should be celebrated regardless of whether it ended in a loss or live birth.


Seriously, who says 'oh dear?' Good grief!!

 

[3boys]

Yeah I didn't even tell my in laws just over 2 months before giving birth last time, even then it was my hubby who finally relented.
Was met with 'oh dear' type reactions and they haven't been sympathetic at all regarding my losses either! It's bizarre! Why would you say oh dear? To a pregnancy announcement??

Im the same with my inlaws, last time i was pregnant i thought i was mcing and my mil said it was for the best i didnt need to have another baby and it was Gods way of saying i was wrong to be pregnant. Thankfully that baby is now nearly 2!

 

[dan-o]

3 boys that's what I did last time in the just letting people work it out. Some people even asked me who baby it was because they hadn't noticed

Yep sounds like our in laws would get along lol

 

[pinkmonki]

Holy cow! Who says things like that?!

 

[MEPride]

There are people I didn't want to tell and instead really wanted to just wear baggy clothes around them so see if they ever noticed.

Why is pregnancy such a touchy topic to some people?!?

 

[3boys]

3 boys that's what I did last time in the just letting people work it out. Some people even asked me who baby it was because they hadn't noticed

Yep sounds like our in laws would get along lol

Yep I have no intention of telling anyone really apart from a handful of friends. I dont need that kind of negativity this baby will be born into a home where it is adored I dont ask anyone for anything, my inlaws are not involved and my mil has never been my biggest fan why would i involve then in such lovely news just so they can judge?

 

[3boys]

There are people I didn't want to tell and instead really wanted to just wear baggy clothes around them so see if they ever noticed.

Why is pregnancy such a touchy topic to some people?!?

I stay at home with my kids so i figure if i can manage to go to town and do my shopping without being spotted there is a good chance no one will ever know and with having 7 already im not sure anyone would even notice another tagging along.

 

[dan-o]

There are people I didn't want to tell and instead really wanted to just wear baggy clothes around them so see if they ever noticed.

Why is pregnancy such a touchy topic to some people?!?

I stay at home with my kids so i figure if i can manage to go to town and do my shopping without being spotted there is a good chance no one will ever know and with having 7 already im not sure anyone would even notice another tagging along.

And people ask me 'are they ALL yours?' always makes me giggle.
I can only imagine the comments you must have.. people can't cope with counting past two can they lol

 

[3boys]

Haha my husband likes to tell them no we collect strays

 

[dan-o]

Pmsl

 

[pinkpassion]

O man .. I have had some negative reactions also but I don't let it affect me. People are weird and even when I struggled with infertility and then multiple losses I STILL cherished and celebrated new life in the lives around me, it does hurt though!!

This time I've had a few people say "again?! Don't you know what causes that?!" And one person who used to be my very best friend but we have fallen apart the last 5 months, when I announced on ig she text me and said "I found out about your expectancy on ig?!" And my reply to her was just that we hadn't told anyone up until that day (monday) because of our past and we had only sent out texts to our parents and everyone else found out through ig... she never responded, no congrats or anything. Yeah maybe I should have told her but we honestly haven't spoken in 5 months , I don't and didn't feel the need to share something so special to her!

 

[3boys]

O man .. I have had some negative reactions also but I don't let it affect me. People are weird and even when I struggled with infertility and then multiple losses I STILL cherished and celebrated new life in the lives around me, it does hurt though!!

This time I've had a few people say "again?! Don't you know what causes that?!" And one person who used to be my very best friend but we have fallen apart the last 5 months, when I announced on ig she text me and said "I found out about your expectancy on ig?!" And my reply to her was just that we hadn't told anyone up until that day (monday) because of our past and we had only sent out texts to our parents and everyone else found out through ig... she never responded, no congrats or anything. Yeah maybe I should have told her but we honestly haven't spoken in 5 months , I don't and didn't feel the need to share something so special to her!

One of my personal favs "do you know what causes that?" ive read a few good answers to that one including "yes and my husbands very good at it" lol I also love the "have you no tv?" one.